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The E.T. says that President Bush has already made a series of catastrophic blunders that
1. Flip-flopping on his campaign pledge to cut pollution -- One of the main reasons the alien backed Bush was his vow to require mandatory reductions in carbon-dioxide emissions from power plants. By reversing his position once in office, Bush has put the world at risk, according to the E.T., who says, "Your planet is choking on these fumes."
Rejecting the international Kyoto treaty to limit greenhouse gasses -- "Global warming is a very serious threat to your planet," warns the alien. "If you don't stop it now, you soon face a worldwide environmental catastrophe of biblical proportions."
3. Boosting the level of arsenic allowed in the drinking water -- "We have seen this happen on other planets, where millions of people, including small, helpless children, have died excruciating deaths from polluted water," the alien writes.
4. Reviving "Star Wars" -- Bush's decision to toss out the decades-old ABM treaty and to deploy a space-based missile-defense system is "dangerously misguided," says the E.T. "Spreading your arms race into space will not only lead to the destruction of the human race, it also threatens other planets where such weapons are unknown."
5. Promising to open Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and other protected lands to oil drilling -- "We cannot tell you how many planets there are which have become barren pits with no natural beauty because of this kind of folly," the E.T. says.
6. Cutting the budget for research into renewable energy and conservation by $200 million -- "You simply cannot keep plundering the Earth's natural resources," the E.T. says. "Renewable sources of energy are your only hope for survival."
7. Proposing we build more nuclear power plants -- "Radioactive waste remains deadly for 10,000 years," the alien warns. "The disaster at Chernobyl is nothing compared to what awaits future generations of mankind if you build more of these monstrosities." The White House has not issued any public comment on the alien's thumbs-down rating, but privately, aides concede, President Bush feels betrayed by the fickle E.T.