race in relationships?

Hi,
I have had the odd occurance where i have been intrested in females of other races only to be told by other's,Dont't bother or she only dates guys from the same race.Does it seem as a society we are back to "ethnic pairing".I seem like giving up and finding a hispanic girl to hook up with because i cant be bothered going through this crap anymore.

Forget about what others say...get to know such girls...let THEM tell you if that's truly how they are.... And even if some are, you can't seriously believe ALL of them are that way.....

Just remember, those "others" might be saying what they are out of their OWN prejudices....not the alleged prejuduce of the girls...

I agree with Gazrok. Follow your heart and your desires. Otherwise you'll never know.

I have dated outside my race many times and I see lots of mixed race couples. I think it's pretty accepted, generally.

Thanks for the advice.It'a annyoing when i experienced these things it makes u want to give up.I guess i will have to keep an open mind.

Like the others have said, follow your own heart,

Try not thinking of any of it as a race issue other wise it almost becomes one, If you meet a girl the only thing that should matter is if you are attracted to her or not Simple

Be your own thinker and leader in life

I feel i'm attracted to a certain race, don't listen to anyone else. I remember this guy asking me what's my type because I turned him down, I don't want to tell him because I don't want him to think i'm racist.

[edit on 4-10-2005 by Nlive81]

Different Races have different cultural and social baggage that they bring to a relationship. Its up to you to handle them or decide if they are worth handing.
You dont let someone eles tell you what baggage to take on or not take on. That is your buisness. You are however responsible withing that relationship framework for how you handle what baggage you decide to take on . That is your buisness not anyone elses. Dont let anyone else snow you on this. The statistics on inter race relationships dont tell you all..about relationships. You can do just as bad or good within your own race. Its up to you to work it out. Once again dont let anyone snow you on this.
I suggest that within any race you choose a partner with real useful values..not the appearence of being valuable..when they are not..but once again that is your buisness.
Oh and about following your heart..I dont necessarily recommend this. Our hearts and egos can often decieve us about a great many things. Use some common sense in percieving if a person has real value or just the appearence of value...our hearts can often lead us in exactly the opposite direction. Be wise about a relationship. Emotions are not everything and can decieve us.

Thanks,
Orangetom

Well thanks for the feedback people.I took people's advice and approached her and asked if she wanted to get toghether some time.While polite the race issue did come in and she said that she has always dated her own kind because that's what's encouraged in her family.I was left there scratching my head in dismay.Once again guys thanks for your feedback it helped.

The hardest thing I've had to deal with were the cultural differences about the roles in marriage. My fiancee has always been taught it's her job to take care of the house and make things easy on me, and my job to make money and support the family. So even when I talk about us taking care of the house, she tells me that she'll do everything about that. It's been hard to adjust to that difference. That and family is EVERYTHING over there. They'll guilt you into doing things if they have to, but family comes first, and last.

tarzan, follow your heart. If she rejects you only because on your race then you are better off with out her.
Recently someone on ATS posted a survey that shows people today are more accepting of interracial dating, so don't feel like we are reverting back to 'ethnic pairing'.

If things don't work out with this girl don't feel too bad. You will find your 'Jane'.

Tarzan...do not follow your heart..use some common sense. Once again your heart can decieve you about a great many things. Your heart can often have you making a jackass out of yourself to no avail and not catching on to what you are doing. Your heart often leads you mistakenly to a sense of entitlement in a relationship. It isnt so.
Use common sense first. Listen to your heart but dont let it lead you ..use common sense. People often use the word "heart" in lieu of common sense..they are not always the same. People who often use their heart only make a mess of alot in thier lives. There is a time and place for your heart ,Tarzan, it is not all the time life has to offer. All things in the right place and time.

Thanks,
Orangetom

Originally posted by tarzan
Well thanks for the feedback people.I took people's advice and approached her and asked if she wanted to get toghether some time.While polite the race issue did come in and she said that she has always dated her own kind because that's what's encouraged in her family.I was left there scratching my head in dismay.Once again guys thanks for your feedback it helped.

Well, I guess you can look at it in two ways.
1. At least she was upfront with you about it rather than takin' you on a ride to havin' ur feelings hurt
2. She more than likely wasn't the right one for ya

I was raised kinda like she was in terms of stickin' with your own race. I was cool with that due to the fact that's all I knew. I never left my state, never left my town and even if I did I was still among my own race. Alot of segregation so to speak. If I was to talk to any girl at the time of another race all my so called friends would say that I was sellin' out. So to impress my friends I'd turn down whichever girl I was interested in. It could have just been that particular instance when I could have been with a sweet caring person but due to me wanting to maintain my reputation I let her go.
It wasn't until I join the military and got away from home that I really saw all the beautiful races of women there are in this world. It sucks to know that I was so narrowminded back then but when you come up through the stages how and what your friends think about you really means something.

Now I'm of the age that I'm living for the things that make me happy and feel good. My fiance' is of a different race but I'm blind to that really. Yes, I know that we aren't the same in terms of race but it's not even about that. She makes me happy and I try my best to make her happy ~ that is what counts ... Race is nothin' but skin pigmentation ( a color ). I hope that one day people can see beyond a color and see that person for what he/she really is. Granted you'll have those people such as that girl you liked that'll stick to her upbringin' which is cool but all people are different. I'm sure you'll come across another girl that'll see you just for you and not as a color. Keep searchin' .. she's out there.

It seems to me that I've seen, specifically, more white women with black men now more than ever. I don't see how that's going backwards in any way.

Whether it's accepted more freely, well that's a whole different ballgame I guess.

Peace

'take it from me, if you want to be happy the rest of your life, waited on hand and foot Hispanic is the way to go.

Just ask my husband.

The last time I looked, we're all the same race.
The Human Race.........


I don't see why anyone wants to draw lines between our diversity.
To hell with what others think, just keep it within your own species.

Originally posted by tarzan
Hi,
I have had the odd occurance where i have been intrested in females of other races only to be told by other's,Dont't bother or she only dates guys from the same race.

You could just ask the girl herself rather than rely on rumour.

well thanks for your feedback boys and girls.Belive it or not i almost forgot about this thread.I guess im just gonna try and move on and not worry about finding the right one.Just what is best for me right now.

I dated a Peruvian girl for almost a year in high school. I could tell some of my friends didnt approve, but whatever. I'll tell you what, one of the best decisions I ever made. I really improved in my spanish, alot due to being at her house around her family. If you want to date someone of another race go ahead. Dont let someone else stop you from somethin YOU want to do. I say go for it.

Originally posted by anxietydisorder
The last time I looked, we're all the same race.
The Human Race.........

I don't see why anyone wants to draw lines between our diversity.
To hell with what others think, just keep it within your own species.

Well said!!

It doesnt matter wether there green, orange or blue( that may look a bit strange) but if you feel so strongly about someone you cant let what other people say bother you, its something you alone have to figure out for yourself.

For instance if a person you liked was on the large side or had ginger hair and you really liked them would you not go out with them cos someone says something?

the principle is the same, I look at it if we all liked the same kind of people the world wouldnt get very far would it.

It doesnt matter what so ever at the end of the day as long as you and your partner are happy with each other we all have our own type we go for and if this is yours go for it!!!!!!!

Originally posted by anxietydisorder
The last time I looked, we're all the same race.
The Human Race.........

I don't see why anyone wants to draw lines between our diversity.
To hell with what others think, just keep it within your own species.

Wow, the one third along from the left on the top row, has got me mesmerized.

But yeah, just go with the flow that's what i say. Take her out and then decide what you want from there. Just don't let anyone else tell you what to do.