posted on Oct, 9 2005 @ 06:09 AM
Dearest Amuk:
The wonders of cyberspace.......So many of us don't really know you and yet you have obviously touched many of us and inspired affection towards
yourself. I stand with with you and yours also.
Once you have wrapped your mind around all of this trial and truly know what the future holds, and are comfortable enough, please do share it with
your cyber friends. There is no telling what someone out here may know that could help the situation. There is an extraordinary bottomless pit of
information in the minds of ATSers.
For what it's worth, I have battled for years the loss of my health with no explanation or relief from the medical profession. There are good days
and bad days, and sometimes even after years the dark thoughts can take hold again, but the hope comes and go as well. It's a rollercoaster for sure,
but the only danger is the darkness. Over time I have seen that the light does return, so I have come to accept (though not embrace those times),
knowing I need only the strength to hang on for dear life till it passes, because it will. Sometimes it's worse to attempt to fight it, as long as
you know not to cross a line during those times that is irrevocable. This may have to include secluding yourself from family and friends at certain
times, since it is better to let them be angry that they think you let them down, than risk the damage you may cause to a relationship when you
aren't yourself.
So during those times, just allow yourself to not give a you know what about anything else besides hanging on till it subsides again. No matter what
you have to abandon during those time and how much you may want to be angry with yourself for the things that you may feel you are failing yourself
over, the rest of the world, your true self, and those that matter will still be there when it lifts, and it always does.
Luv ya,
Mel