ThreadKillers Anonymous

That's ok, I'll make sure yours don't go to waste, nik





We also recently obtained one of these, because dammit sometimes I need my latte (and none of that 'nonfat soy' crap, either...) :





I will report back as soon as I take delivery of our other "gadgets"....

Sincerely,

TwinklyTinkle, your severely undercaffeinated Ministeria Of The Interior

I thought I would post this as it is a fine example of craftmanship - Queenannie could show us all a thing or two about threadkillin'.

Note her slick style - bold, with just a dash of 'what me'ness?' sprinkled in for confusion purposes.

In a thread about the future antichrist of the world, she manages to throw in a lightbulb joke. A lightbulb joke! Amazing...

You win a thumbs up from me QA. No, make that a bow.



www.abovetopsecret.com...

Your President and Benevolent Dictator is taking the next 24 or possibly 48 hours off. I hearby appoint our Interior Minister to be in charge until my return.

Awww....shucks!

*looks down, watches her toe trace in the dirt*

Well..gosh!

I hereby accept proudly (but humbly) my new tempromotion.

The order of the day:

Whether a member should or should not get "double" TK points for killing their own thread, versus that of another;

And whether the bathroom mat should be blue or pink.

And whether or not I should include low-fat muffins or other "healthful" alternatives to donuts.

Sincerely,

TwinkyTinkle, your Promotimacatedundercaffeinated PseudoBossLady


Note:

I hereby congratulate Queen Annie for some astonishing work! You are indeed a beacon of TKing Supremity



[edit on 23/9/05 by Tinkleflower]

As is now our tradition, please find below examples of some of my finest ThreadKeeling Woik.

Nobody cares about folk who know immigration stuff

Health & Wellness - example 1

And why English humour sometimes falls flat

Some folk don't like facts

(health stuff example 2)

Repeating myself? ME?! Never!

I think I just scared everyone

Sincerely,

TwinklyTinkle, your Guilty-As-Charged Ministeria Of The Hysteria.

Wait.

I mean "Interior".

Too many hats, not enuff heads...

Woo-hoo Ms. Ministeria, your Awesomeness~~

I must say I like your style!

You're so smooth if it weren't for the lack of posts after your final post, I would have never figured you so threadly-deadly!

Whoo'da thought a seemingly benign and even courteous

Thank you all for your great posts, so far!

could be so swift and clean a fatal blow!

*wow*


No wonder you're in charge of crullers, beignets, and latte-fied sanka--sweetness is both boon and bane to those who know you--except for your feet, that is...

(not a problem, the way I see it, though--I often use my feet for sandpaper! & it keeps those wierd toe-fetish-guys away, that's for sure!)
JK
Not.



I make a motion that we...

well, I think we need some kind of motto--I kind like the 'threadly-deadly' thing that I just spontaneously rhymed out.

Originally posted by Tinkleflower
Well..gosh!

I hereby accept proudly (but humbly) my new tempromotion.

The order of the day:

Whether a member should or should not get "double" TK points for killing their own thread, versus that of another;

That's a stumper. On the one hand, it takes a certain sort of perverted talent to be able to kill your own thread (especially when that was not the plan.) On the other hand, there's something rather sick and gleeful about nipping someone else's thread in the bud--particularly if it would have had quite a long life if a TKA hadn't spied it.

And whether the bathroom mat should be blue or pink.

I vote Violet or Lavender (not pastel-ly lavender, but more of an intense shade. That way everyone is equally represented) Besides, it does seem to me that you have quite the bitchin purple scheme going on here in our ubiquitous meeting room. I like.

And whether or not I should include low-fat muffins or other "healthful" alternatives to donuts.

Not on my account--pastries are sacred (IMO).

I hereby congratulate Queen Annie for some astonishing work! You are indeed a beacon of TKing Supremity

Why, thank you, Miss Tinkleflower.

Crazed Garfield lookalike gives list of atrocities to acting TKA SuperBossLady


Here are some really good killers of mine on Weaponry threads

1. Space warfare: what will it be like;
2. DoE seeks Star Trek phasers for A-plants;
3. A little help;
4. How would we fight a war in Viet Nam today;
5. Patriot gun – need info;
6. Anti-radiation missile;
7. Help me please;
8. Grey Fox;
9. Iraq war footage;
10. What’s new in the world of weaponry;
11. What is it;

Then of course there's the Rant section:

12. BT complaint;
13. American spook bangs head against wall;
14. It’s my country;
15. The molestation of the word hypocrite;
16. Lance Armstrong;
17. health & Fitness;
18. Why can’t people use search;
19. Ignore button;
20. Some people really work at being dumb;
21. I am appalled.

That’s all I can be bothered to list, but I know there are more.

I agree - stuff the healthy alternative pastries. If you are going to be decadent be decadent. Lite is a crutch: either do it or don't.

That's my new advert idea for Coke or Nike. I get the two confused. I'm going to email both of them my suggestions right away and see if they like it.

Tinkle my dear, many good threads, too many really. Particular faves are the illuminati joke and the old scotsmen whispering in your ear while you game. Priceless. Too bad no one else agreed or could follow that up.

Your style has a European flavour to it, a 'Je ne se French' to threadkillin' that really displays a flare that leaves me wondering: is Twinkle sweet and naive or really, really, ridiculously evil and good looking.

I need an icon of blue steel. The monkey just doesn't cut it.

Fritz

I don't know if I should be scared or impressed. Maybe I can do a combination face of both. Wait a tic, isn't that like 'Awe'?

Here's one to celebrate all your weapons threads.

Well..thankyou

I am blushing very aptly after receiving the many wonderful compliments relating to my "is she...is..she really evil? Huh..but...we thought she was kind of maybe nice..." way of keeling a thread.

I always go by "lull 'em all into a false sense of threadcurity".

And Fritzy?

This is for you





Now, about the wallpaper and shag carpet/mat in the bathroom.

I think we're going to go with this:

(Because it matches my colour scheme, and I'm The Boss Lady)






But then I saw this one...and this is just SO cool.

Yanno why?

Cos it changes colour.




So if Fritz has a wee on the mat, I'll know...

Votes, people?

First, I would like to thank Zaphod for the new title. I promise to do my best to keep your seat nice and toasty for your return. If I can ever get that darn cat Fritz out of it.

As Number 2, I actually don't have a clue what my job is so I will dispense compliments to keep morale up until given some direction.

After being incapcitated with some sort of yucky sickness, I have returned to find all of you doing such a marvelous job! I feel bad that I have not been able to make a large contribution to date, but now that I am feeling better I will try to live up to the standards that have been set by the rest of you.

Congratulations to all of our new members and on those who have been recently promoted. Keep up the good work!

Our Minister of the Interior, currently in command, has done a great job of pretty-fying the place. I really enjoyed the green donuts and Happy Lou Ferrigno(sp?) Day everyone! I'm undecided on the bathmat but I trust in your decision, after all look at how great the place looks already! Spiffy!!!

And Press Secretary nickelbee, all I can say is . The swishing of your hair and informative updates are key to our mission. Not to mention the stunning footwear.

queenannie's reasearch seems to be taking shape nicely and I look forward to the full report. And darn girl, you are goood. Impressive.

I'm off to find out what I have missed in the last few days, and collect some of the finer examples of my work for your perusing pleasure.

Keep up the good work team!

Your Number 2, Dispenser of Happiness and Compliments,

Duzey



[edit on 23-9-2005 by Duzey]

A few threads I have killed in my time:

This is one of my few forays into the topic of religion. After about 6 pages, I got sick of reading this thread and took action.

Homosexuality and the Bible

This thread could have gone on much longer, but due to work constraints, I had to end it quickly. I just don't have as much time these days.

POLITICS: Yahoo 'helped jail China writer'

This is a thread I really have fun with. I started it, killed it, resurrected it and then killed it again. I am planning to continue the cycle when work eases up.

One Anonymous Author and The Epoch Times Vs. The Chinese Communist Party

Enjoy!

Now watch some sick poster come along and ruin my work be responding :shk:

I'm new, I post when I think it's either necessary or something I want to discuss. I kill threads. I like to get responses, but I sure don't seem to be raking them in at this point...



My example, My subscribed threads page.

I'm not funny, I'm not superduper argumentory, nor am I so intelligent that no one can respond.... so whatever.

[edit on 9/23/2005 by Kalapadea]

As the sun came up and I moved no further in my work than I had last night. I decided to take a walk in the park to clear my head. It was then that I hit on a thought (unfortunately not for my essay) but for this thread.

There is much to be said about knowledge verus awareness and the perceptions it engenders as being dangerous. Some may even say evil. For me the concept of original sin is the conscious struggle between man's physical nature, his more animal tendencies, verus his spiritual and enlightened side.

I'm fascinated by the idea of knowledge as a pulley, ever struggling toward the other side, away from the 'physical' man and separating him (by his knowledge) from all living things.

Adam and eve's fruit for example, separated them from the gift of speaking or understanding animals.

The sex thing is a red herring. The true sin is knowledge and the blast of awareness it brings to the human mind; a liberation yes. But also a responsibily and a struggle and ultimately, as many tyranical deposts knew, extremely dangerous.

This first to go in any revolution? Thinkers, poets, writers, philosophers and artists.

ATS is a powerful board in many ways because of the ideas, structures, analysis and debate about all manner of important issues going on around us. At it's core though, it is the refusal of ignorance. An enlightment if you will.

So what happens when these voices speak but are not heard? To use the falling tree in the forest analogy, are the voices even saying anything if no one is listening?

I leave you with this question to move on to my next leading question.

There are a few members on ATS, I won't mention any names, who are not aware, either by self-deception or some unconscious desire for not wanting to know the truth, who are very much like these trees in the forest. They aren't aware they may be thread killing, or maybe they don't want to know. They just keep posting and killing threads day by day, unaware - happy perhaps even in the non-knowledge that anyone is listening or cares.

So my point is this: Are *we* TKAers dangerous and evil? We *know* we threadkill. We revel and relish in the fact of our cult or club. We cannot feign ignorance, and thus innocence. We are guilty of knowledge and the subsequent power of manipulating that knowledge to our advantage.

For those of you who stopped listening or caring long ago, I will recap my points:

Knowledge is power, perhaps engenders evil
TKAers have knowledge (may or may not be evil)
Will we eventually be shut down for fostering dangerous thoughts among our followers, I mean members?
Why are devilled eggs from the devil? Surely paprika isn't *evil*


Final questions I would like you to ponder on:

Say on a thread there is a person who is unwittingly posting seemingly by themselves and you say to them, 'hey you are a thread killer.' And they say, 'no, no, I"m not. I different than you people. I get responses.' But the truth is they don't. They are as deadly as you or I, but they don't know it (or want to know it).

Do we:

A. Nod our heads and then secretly, behind their backs, analyse their posts and use their resistence as research. Evil level 8 (from 1 to 10 with 10 being the most evil)
B. Laugh at them and nominate them for Killer post of the day? Evil level 8.5
C. Hand them our link and show them the 13 step programme to enlightement and betterment. Evil level 1
D. Take them aside privately and gently explain they have a 'problem'. Evil level 0. Stupidity factor 10. No one WANTS to know they are irrelevant. No one wants to believe it. They have to accept before they understand. UNtil then they will go around posting useless posts that no one will read.

Final, final point: Deception and denial are just as dangerous as knowledge. More so, some would claim.

This has been Press Secretary of Swishy Hair and Shoes (hearby known as PSHS) bringing you the 'Deep' Thought of the day.

Originally posted by nikelbee
D. Take them aside privately and gently explain they have a 'problem'. Evil level 0. Stupidity factor 10. No one WANTS to know they are irrelevant. No one wants to believe it. They have to accept before they understand. UNtil then they will go around posting useless posts that no one will read.

I know some of my posts seem irrelevant to others, but at the time, they made sense to me. That doesn't stop me from posting elsewhere, it's not like I enjoy SPAMMING the boards, I just don't care as much as most people with regards to my own post quality. If I try to make a better post, it takes longer time, and editing; two things I'm bad with.

If I truly am an irrelevant poster, then I shall enjoy my time being so. Edit: That doesn't mean I'm not going to try my best to be relevant :p Thank you for your thought of the day, is that the only one? jk jk

When did I get all these ATS points?

[edit on 9/24/2005 by Kalapadea]

Kalapadea

Welcome to our club. Have a seat and a donut. Nice start, thanks for your list. Could you send a few links though? No more than 3 please, so we can see your 'work' your style, etc, in action.

Pay no mind to my (singular) deep thought of the day. I have been brain dead for months so one is all you get from me.

My post addresses those that don't know they have a problem. You are obviously smart enough to be here and be counted, so welcome again and hmm place your donut and drink order with our Minister of the Interior who is either sleeping or redecorating again.

Make yourself at home and watch you don't sit on Fritz, he's our Garfield in residence and is a bit... you know... high strung.

A piece of... my work? haha, ahaha, ahaha.

I wish it were something I could be like "oh I'm so creative and when I post things, people stop posting".

It's more like, I post, and no one else ever looks at the thread again...ever...

Here, I really really truly wish more people had gotten something out of this thread I made for Spyware stuff, it may not be a good example as I myself started it, but I certainly did finish it. I'm not a writer, I don't come up with witty little comments to keep people interested with what I have to say, even if I think it's really important that people read it.

www.belowtopsecret.com...

Or here, www.belowtopsecret.com...
all I did was offer my opinion and a solution that worked for a relatively personal occurence.

www.belowtopsecret.com... Come on! I'm pretty sure I did a good job explaining in detail how to do something, did I offend that guy with knowledge? Did I word it in such a way I don't deserve a response? Oh oh wait, one more, at the time of this posting I'm the last one to post, I thought it would be a good strong thread, capable of keeping me entertained for a little while, so I posted my own Podcast.
All I did was ask for a little love....

www.belowtopsecret.com...

Yea, I'm not exactly an on purpose TK. So if I'm not majorly cool enough to get in TKA at least I got to Rant on about my first week on the ATS boards, without having to go through the trouble of creating a thread I wouldn't get good response to. (Woe!)



Edited for spelling, to keep your eyes from bleeding.

[edit on 9/24/2005 by Kalapadea]

Well that is why we created this little thread. For people like you and others who whether intentional or not, need to know why their posts have gone awry. We tend to be silly and go on and so forth, but if you listen carefully, we have some good things to say too - sometimes... we don't want to make it a habit or anything.

If you read through our first posts you will find various reasons why we are thread killers. Some are by accident, some are purposely into killing, some are born natural killers.

Whichever type you are, there is a place for you here. I suggest you link to a few of our member threads and see how they do it. What went wrong or right? Is it just bad spelling or is it a pointless remark that goes unchecked. Maybe, if you are lucky, it is your brilliance that really blows people away, and in that case, there is really anything anyone can do but sit in awe.




[edit on 24-9-2005 by nikelbee]