Should the serverely handicapped be spared by abortion?

Originally posted by namehere
i find this question very offensive, why,are we doomed to suffer or cause a family endless heart ache? and how can you imply we are unwanted because of a disability?

Depending on the disabilty of course.. because I will have to look after a severely retarded brother for the rest of my life. He has the behaviour of a two year old and is prone to having violent outbursts. The heartache comes in having to forgoe much of what life has to offer to care for him, knowing that the chances of having my own family are a lot less as most would not be willing to make the same commitment to him, knowing that having a career and caring for him at the same time will be impossible [why I am trying to become self employed] so living over the poverty line will be equally as impossible, having my whole identity reduced to being a babysitter, and, the most heartwrenching of all.. having to watch him spend his life not being able of experience the wonderful things life has to offer and not being able to help him achieve them.. one look in his eyes is enough to know that he is very much aware of what he is missing.

I do not want and would not have wanted him dead and love him dearly.. as much as I would have if he wasn't retarded.. but pretending that he is not a burden would be a lie.. as would trying to convince people not to abort because of a fanciful 'You can learn tolerence/compassion.. it's a blessing!"
Challenge: Anyone who feels this way should put their money where their mouth is and volenteer their time to give families some much needed respite and learn what it is like being a carer for themselves.. clearly if they think they are only useful in teaching tolerence and the value of 'caring for others' they are just pig ignorant of how complex it is.

[edit on 20-9-2005 by riley]

Originally posted by riley

Challenge: Anyone who feels this way should put their money where their mouth is and volenteer their time to give families some much needed respite and learn what it is like being a carer for themselves.. clearly if they think they are only useful in teaching tolerence and the value of 'caring for others' they are just pig ignorant of how complex it is.

[edit on 20-9-2005 by riley]

Some of us have.

Nobody said it was easy.

Originally posted by Tinkleflower

Originally posted by riley

Challenge: Anyone who feels this way should put their money where their mouth is and volenteer their time to give families some much needed respite and learn what it is like being a carer for themselves.. clearly if they think they are only useful in teaching tolerence and the value of 'caring for others' they are just pig ignorant of how complex it is.

[edit on 20-9-2005 by riley]

Some of us have.

Nobody said it was easy.

I think perhaps I took offence to this statement among others:

Perhaps the child is there to remind
the family, and those around the family, that how we take care of
'the least' in society reflects upon what is really in our souls and
hearts. To kill him or her off because it's inconvienent is selfish.

'Inconvenience' really was the wrong word and I read it as 'easy' as I would not describe what we have gone through inconvenient. It's common piece of presumptious rhetoric used in the abortion debate to try minumalise and trivialise the reasons for abortion. She may as well have said "Just because something is a little bit hard.."
I also took offence to speculation of what god's purpose was in putting my brother and others through such torment.. fact is it is entirely possible that he ended up that way his through mercury poisoning via vaccinations.. not divine intervention or plan to teach my family kindness. All my life I have been told by bible bashers things like "He must have done something wrong in a previous life." [depite christianity not having re-encarnation] ..another one was the sins of the father thing "Perhaps your parents sinned and this is their punnishment." such ignorant superstitions have no place in discussions where actual reality is involved.

I understand that others here have had experience with this issue.. but it's obviously not everyone.

[edit on 20-9-2005 by riley]

as posted by riley
Challenge: Anyone who feels this way should put their money where their mouth is and volenteer their time to give families some much needed respite and learn what it is like being a carer for themselves.. clearly if they think they are only useful in teaching tolerence and the value of 'caring for others' they are just pig ignorant of how complex it is.

Talking about "presumptious rhetoric, would the above fit that category?
Tell you what, I put my money were my mouth is everyday...
Apparently, you are not a special education teacher or aide, who has to work with and teach these children, eh? Caring for them is but one aspect, riley.
Remember this old adage: "he ain't heavy, he's brother....."




seekerof

[edit on 20-9-2005 by Seekerof]

Originally posted by Seekerof

as posted by riley
Challenge: Anyone who feels this way should put their money where their mouth is and volenteer their time to give families some much needed respite and learn what it is like being a carer for themselves.. clearly if they think they are only useful in teaching tolerence and the value of 'caring for others' they are just pig ignorant of how complex it is.

Talking about "presumptious rhetoric, would the above fit that category?

No. It was a personal challenge in reaction to people who throw around things like 'gods test' with no idea of what it entails.. by that reasoning I should just pray really hard and he'll be all better right? :shk:

Tell you what, I'll put my money were my mouth is everyday...
Apparently, you are not a special education teacher or aide, who has to work with and teach these children, eh? Caring for them is but one aspect, riley.

You are trying to pull rank?
Actually I had quite alot in the past and I still do volenteer at the adult centre [which is quite competent and don't treat their clients like they're subhuman] on occasion.. my brother is how I ended up in the field [on and off] I also have put alot of time into educating my brother as the schools [I realise they are more evolved now so do not take my opinion on past practes personally] made no attempt in teaching him basic literacy. I am also the one who taught him some basic communication skills with some success. It took me three years to get him to pronounce his name.. the speech therapist gave up after three months and deemed it pointless and futile. He only has a handful of sylables he can pronounce but at least he has something.. no thanks to his education in earlier years which were basically only creshes back then. I have spent nearly twenty years researching different techniques and therapies with some success.. though I know he has limits. Caring is just but one aspect? Oh I get it.. I only feed him and make sure he's clean right?!

[edit on 20-9-2005 by riley]

I commend people that take care and provide assistance for children and adults with special needs.

Its hard work and many are very confident that they do it because they care and is good in the eyes of their God.

When I was a teacher in the one of the middle schools I remember the special education teachers and assistance.

The children were well taken care off the state have people that will be with them the entire time they are at school taking care of their needs, like restroom brakes and feeding times, you have to understand that many wear diapers.

But something that struck me the most was that many or perhaps the majority of the children were in foster homes.

I guess I didn't gave to that thought much time taking in consideration that they were very well taken care.

But this brings me to realized that many women that have these children can not care for them or abandon them in the hospitals for the state to take care of them.