I really do not hate Noone but he does owe me money
Time for some Comic releif guys.....
> "OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY"
>
> December 1st
>
> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>
>
>
> I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas
> Party will take place on December 20th at Luigi's Open
> Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and
> a small band playing traditional carols ... feel free
> to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows
> up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree!
> Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that
> time; however, no gift should be over $10.
>
>
>
> Merry Christmas to you and your family.
>
> Patty Lewis
> Human Resources Director
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> December 2nd
>
> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>
>
> In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our
> Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an
> important holiday that often coincides with Christmas
> (though unfortunately not this year). However, from
> now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
> policy applies to employees who are celebrating
> Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree
> and no Christmas carols sung.
>
>
>
> Happy Holidays to you and your family.
>
> Patty Lewis
> Human Resources Director
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> December 3rd
>
> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>
>
>
> Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member
> of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking
> table, I'm happy to accommodate this request, but,
> don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads,
> "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In
> addition, forget about the gifts exchange-- no gifts
> will be allowed since the union members feel that $10
> is too much money.
>
>
>
> Patty Lewis
> Human Researchers Director
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> December 7th
>
> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>
>
> I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to
> sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant
> women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to
> sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with
> the gay men; each will have their own table. Yes,
> there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's
> table.
>
>
>
>
>
> Happy now?
>
> Patty Lewis
> Human Racehorses Director
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> December 9th
>
> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>
>
>
> People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by
> wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the
> anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is
> no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red
> suit."
>
>
>
> Patty Lewis
> Human Ratraces
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> December 10th
>
> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>
>
>
> Vegetarians -- I've had it with you people!! We're
> going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether
> you like it or not, you can just sit at the table
> farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and
> you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponic
> tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too.
> They scream when you slice them. I've heard them
> scream. I'm hearing them right now... Ha!
>
>
>
> I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and
> die, you hear me?
>
> The Bitch from Hell
>
> -------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> December 13th
>
> TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
>
>
>
> I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis
> a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness.
> I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the
> sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to
> cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the
> afternoon of the 20th off with full pay.
>
>
>
> Terri Bishop
> Assistant Plant Manager
>
>
> _
>