No Talent Band Poem

I just heard Whack Rappers by Afroman and figured I would do my own version.

No Talent Ass Clowns

I wanna be black don't you know
So I can go around saying n*gger to the person next door
I can cuss just wait and see
Cuss like Eminem or P. Diddy
Using gang hand signals on the west
Going on about always being poor
Walking around in a million dollar vest
Saying before I got famous I robbed a store
Forgot to mention I was only four
All for a candy bar and a stick of gum
I never even shot a gun


I really can’t sing at all
But I got a boob job so I wasn’t flat as a wall
I still can’t sing but I don’t care
I really wasn’t that aware
That going around on a beach in the bare
Would get me on the cover of The Star
Driving around in the company car
I do concerts without singing a note
I just went and bought myself a boat

We can’t sing, we can only dance
Look at me as I wiggle in these pants
We always say we aren’t gay
But what else can we say
Since just got caught the other day
We call ourselves a band
But none of us can play
We just go on stage and make the girls sway
I wish I could bang a fan
But the oldest just got dropped off in her mom’s minivan

I just want to F my sister
I play a banjo but it doesn’t matter
With all the inbreeding I’m mad as the Hatter
All I do is steal songs from a comedian
Like Stephen Lynch and that Mexican
Speaking of lynch where’s a darkie?
I’ll go get my hood and sheet
Let’s go out and beat one to $h*t

Anyways, I hate rap, and boy bands, and implant girls, and country.

That made me laugh, nice job, I admire your passion

Glad I made you happy. Hate those styles, especially rap.

All it is is cussing to a beat while mentioning drugs and raping women. WTF? How is that music? What ever happened to things being mellow? Don McClean had a story, Arlo Guthrie with Alice's Restaurant was a story, but
"*** the *** ***** **** mother **** while **** some ho in the ***** as ***** she cries out ***** but it ***** don't ***** matter thats why we **** have rope"
Is considered music today.

Anyways, got one of your own? Just make stuff up as you type, it's what I did.