posted on Aug, 16 2003 @ 05:19 PM
Question: If a major catastrophe struck the planet earth, and everything was in chaos, what would you do? How would you prepare?
I am sooo glad you asked. First off I am a paranoid nut who plans to (in the very near future) build myself a large underground bunker inside of a
mountain. My base will have two main entrances (either side of the mountain) and one emergency exit. Each of the two main entrances will be protected
by three sets of blast doors. In between each set will be decontamination centers. Also in between each of these will be independently targeting twin
linked miniguns (in case of intruders). My base will be coated in at least 8 feet thick steal and then the solid rock and dirt of the mountain (Should
be enough to weather the apocalypse). My base will be equipped with highly complex air filtering systems to insure no air born viruses get in. I will
have a large lab full of hamsters. I will use these hamsters as my main source of food (and for genetic experiments). Although I will have TONS of
caned food one can never substitute good old meat even if it is off a hamster. I will also take with me a small group of vigilantes to guard my
facility (which I am now calling Isis). My vigilantes will be equipped with the works M16s, Flak Jackets, gas masks, night vision, you name it they
will have it. Of course you can never be to trusting so before entering my facility they will all have explosives implanted in their skulls by a team
of doctors I will kidnap. My guards will have clear face masks to insure that no one can wear their suits and pretend to be them (this was Darth
Vader's down fall). I will have a network of pipes bringing water to Isis. I will have a very large water purification system to insure that my
facility stays uncontaminated. Please inform me if I have missed anything.
How do I plan to afford all this? I am glad you asked (I know you didn't but just play along anyway) I intend to swindle the elderly out of their
money with telemarketing scams and fake timeshares. I mean come on think about it they wouldn't survive the apocalypse anyway they are too fragile.
Unfortunately this will take time so if the world ends before I can complete Isis I will be forced to go down in a blaze of glory.
I'm
thinking two 9 mm Pistols, running full speed at the nearest enemy. Not a bad way to go.
NOTE: I did not mean the vast majority of what I just said. It was simply a joke and if I offended anyone with anything I said please know that that
was never my intent. Have a nice day!