Now hear this, a new wind is blowing.

I am back!!

Throughout history whenever a leader has been in trouble, whenever a country needs assistance, they have summoned their ancestors and guiding spirits to lead them into battle and right wrongs.

I have been summoned and I will surpass.

After I left you last time I assumed you worthless bunch of rabble would have pulled yourselves together and build the war machine that ATS can be. Fashoned the irregulars into shock troups for the fight against the NWO, ignorance and immorality.

Unfortunatly I was wrong.

You have become shock troops, but unfortuntly its me that is shocked. How can the members here expect to storm the citadels of power and fight against the demonic host with such weak kneeded little nancies on the board?

You're all effeminate pillow huggers and skirt wearers!

Thank God for you all that I am back.

First thing I will do is increase the level of morality on this board. I have been informed that some of you have been discussing sex on the TV.

I am disgusted at such bragging! In my day the Zenith's were too small to allow it, and we kept losing our balance, but now with these 56inch color plasmatic TV's you can have as much sex as you like. Its dispicable.

We are going to base our New Model Army after the Spartans, from now on we will throw out every form of distraction, and live pure chaste lives.

The next thing we are going to do is whip these new mods into shape. I have never seen such a bunch of cowering nervous girlies before on this board. Where are the masterful mods of past days, the bronzed adonises and ripped bodies of muscle?

Now they have been promoted they are in the back rooms drinking coffee and playing darts, and not working out at the coal face teaching these new mods who to act.

Well I will change that! I will guide these new mods into the mastery of mod-dom!!

As for the usual rank and file rabble, don't think that you are safe. I have come to winnow out the true followers of ATS and our cause from those who do not understand the terms of sacrifice and obedience.

We will fashion together a mighty sword as we march forward to regain the land we lost to those vacillators and weaklings.

A members you will learn the true meaning of obedience, you will understand the joy of being part of a greater whole, a master race of internet dwellers, the future of our society and the leaders of the free world.

But before godliness come the training of the body. When I admonish you it will be as a father admonishes his children. I will sculpt your bodies and minds to become dedicated fighting implements of the ATS arsnel.

ARE YOU WITH ME OR AGAINST ME?

I await the triumphant posts of my loyal followers as we rise up and take back ATS from those who are to weak to wield it.

Remember power belongs to the strong, and we will prevail in our quest to restore ATS to its dignity and me to my rightful place as its leader.



[edit on 9-5-2005 by GeneralDilemma]

One question, are you attempting to turn ATS into a right-wing military intelligence depot? If so, you migggghhhttt have the wrong place.

BTW, I'm still confused about who the NWO are...

[edit on 8-5-2005 by Jamuhn]

Sir,

You have glandular delusions of grandeur that must be addressed chemically, says my lovely counterpart theRiverGoddess.

I, myself, am sitting back, laughing my eyes out of their sockets. You, my friend, are exactly what this board needs. You and the other 77 like you.

Welcome back!

Will wonders never cease, that formaldehyde can prolong the campaign of the General to such lengths beyond his zombification.

Might I enquire into the well-being of your spouse, Sir?

Originally posted by GeneralDilemma
ARE YOU WITH ME OR AGAINST ME?

I await the triumphant posts of my loyal followers as we rise up and take back ATS from those who are to weak to wield it.

Remember power belongs to the strong, and we will prevail in our quest to restore ATS to its dignity and me to my rightful place as its leader.

General SIR!

I have awaited your return! MacArthur bows to your triumph! I have been extolling your virtues during your hiatus, and am ready to assemble the "crack troops."

Private Parts, get me my clipboard... I smell an inspection.

Reveille! Reveille! Muster on the board!

Originally posted by DeltaChaos
Sir,

You have glandular delusions of grandeur that must be addressed chemically

Ya..........ahhhhh.....................I have nothing MORE to add tyvm......


.................just sayin

Originally posted by Major Discrepancy
Private Parts, get me my clipboard... I smell an inspection.

Reveille! Reveille! Muster on the board!

I didn't see you linking yourself with "leftist" material.

Jaded.

LOL

Looking forward to reading the unabashed un-rehashed postings to follow!
and trying to decide if you are famous or infamous..

I am neither famous nor infamous. I have returned to offer my services as a general and leader of men.

I will return this board and its inhabitants to a state of purity and truth. I will reorientate the moral compass of this messageboard.

We will begin by restricting posting on ATS to Men only.

Politics, war, and the frightening reality of terror is patently unsuitable for the delicate sensabilities of our treasured womenfolk.

They will be happier on BTS chatting and talking among themselves, swapping home hints and recipies.

I am certian The River Goddess will be pleased to be relieved from the onerous issues of politics and current events. I know her husband will appreciate the extra time she spends in the kitchen.

She will also marvel at his knowledge and wisdom, as he reads my posts and incorporates my lessons into his life.

I expect the division of ATS into male and female sections will proceed as soon as the administrator can get it completed. At that stage we can proced to the next level of obedience and sacrifice.


[edit on 9-5-2005 by GeneralDilemma]

Originally posted by GeneralDilemma
We will begin by restricting posting on ATS to Men only.

Politics, war, and the frightening reality of terror is patently unsuitable for the delicate sensabilities of our treasured womenfolk.

They will be happier on BTS chatting and talking among themselves, swapping home hints and recipies.

I am certian The River Goddess will be pleased to be relieved from the onerous issues of politics and current events. I know her husband will appreciate the extra time she spends in the kitchen.

She will also marvel at his knowledge and wisdom, as he reads my posts and incorporates my lessons into his life.

Not just the spouses, but all of America, and therefore the world will be a more productive place, a rank and file (no, not your nails), orderly dissemination of the "straight poop!"

I believe that Valhall will make good use of this additional time she has at her disposal (though Corporal Punishment may have to take guard duty).

Take the helm of ATS Sir!

Intrepid, you've got a date with spuds, KP Duty for you!

Dismissed.

CFurme, I deleted your post. I'll not have the NOW group hanging me for your picture.

General, it is good to see that you were serious when you said that you would return.

We have been anxiously awaiting your return. We are worthless and weak, and we need to be beaten back into shape - back to our combat weight, as some might say!

Thankyou TC I was goig to repremand young curme to remove that disgusting picture of the female. I have many responsibiities and duties of which ATS is only one. Its the decay that I have found on returning that has spurred me back into action.

Her eis the first of my changes that will be enacted soon.

www.abovetopsecret.com...

General, if I may have a word with you....
What are you going to do when the males on ATS, denied the presense of their better halves, begin to miss the fairer sex?
Who will keep the men sane, sir?

Not to be disrespectful, sir, but the men WILL miss the women.
I decline to opine whether the reverse would be true...

Yes, if the women dissapeared, we'll then be the biggest geek club on the internet. You wouldn't want that, would ya??

Originally posted by TheBandit795
Yes, if the women dissapeared, we'll then be the biggest geek club on the internet. You wouldn't want that, would ya??

This man's ATS already is the biggest geek club, if it wasn't they'd be out among the living, not here lollygagging about. The General will straighten this mess out, and get the rank and file geeks marching to a new drummer (and the women cooking and cleaning to... well nevermind).

Dismissed.

Hey! I'm almost certain G.D. has broken a TOS rule with this thread. The title is completely misleading. It hints at a "new wind blowing"...I opened it, and it was the same ol' big-winded hot air as before.

Can some one look into this?

Originally posted by Valhall
Hey! I'm almost certain G.D. has broken a TOS rule with this thread. The title is completely misleading. It hints at a "new wind blowing"...I opened it, and it was the same ol' big-winded hot air as before.

A fair wind blowing is more like it, courtesy of the magnanimous General Dilemma. Extorting himself in a most generous manner. For it is the burden of command he so uniquely shoulders. Wretched dissent I hear from those who should have eyes front and a lock step pace.

Drop and give me twenty.

Originally posted by Major Discrepancy
(and the women cooking and cleaning to... well nevermind).

WOW.....as it turns out I am doing the laundry for my man.......and vacuuming as well......maybe I shall gain status in the eyes of Dude-a-ronio...



Egads man...is it computor night in the phych hospital today?
Do you have your "I love me" t shirt on?
the meds working ok?
Does your nurse come to you when you call them or are they a slacker nurse?

...................**TRG walks away worrying about this Dude-a-ronio and his med doeses.........MAYBE his fan is just on to high and its blowin the rational thoughts clean outa his head?



[edit on 9-5-2005 by theRiverGoddess]

Splitting up ATS and BTS along gender lines? This simian can't be catagorized in such simple fashion.

Lab Monkeys, not just for ATS/BTS experiments anymore...



[edit on 9/5/2005 by Mirthful Me]

Originally posted by theRiverGoddess
WOW.....as it turns out I am doing the laundry for my man.......and vacuuming as well......maybe I shall gain status in the eyes of Dude-a-ronio...

Commendable! Now if the rest of the womenfolk will be so good as to fall in line, we'll be getting somewhere. I don't know who this "Dude-a-ronio" is, he's not on my roster.

Egads man...is it computor night in the phych hospital today?
Do you have your "I love me" t shirt on?
the meds working ok?
Does your nurse come to you when you call them or are they a slacker nurse?

Do you mean "computer night at the psych hospital?" Guess we better start a "Spelling and Grammar Forum" on BTS.

I have my uniform on currently (Summer Dress with ribbons), but I do my daily PT with an "I Love the ATS Army" T-shirt.

I haven't had to go to sick call in my entire career, the only "meds" I'm on are training and discipline.

There are no slackers around the Major! When I summon a soldier they better "pop too!"

Dismissed.