Did you hear about the dyslexic Pimp?

a reply to: randomtangentsrme

A bloke goes to see a fortune teller. She looks into her crystal ball and starts laughing.

Bloke leans over and punches her in the face.

"What did you do that for"?

"I always like to strike a happy medium".

a reply to: Oldcarpy2

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the chef did not cook it.

What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac do? He lies awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant and a Rhino?

A: An Elephino

A nun was talking a bath

There was a knock at the door

"Who is it?" the nun asked

A man responded "It's the blind man, can I come in?"

Relieved, the nun answered "Yes you can come in"

The man entered the room looked at the nun and said "nice tits, now where do you want me to hang these blinds?"

Two guys are speeding through Texas when a state trooper pulls them over. The trooper walks up to the drivers side of the car, gets out his billy club and smacks the driver across the face. Stunned, the driver asks, ''Why did you do that??'' The trooper responds, ''You're in Texas now son, you have that license out and ready around here!'' ''I apologize sir, I'm not from around here.'' The trooper then walks to the passenger side of the car, and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down his window and the trooper takes out his club and smacks the passenger across the face.''What was that for?'' asked the passenger.''I know your kind,'' says the trooper, ''About two miles down the road you would have looked at your buddy and said 'I wish that son of a bitch would have tried that crap with me!'''