Did you hear about the dyslexic Pimp?

He bought a warehouse...

Or the dyslexic Satanist?

He sold his soul to Santa.

a reply to: Oldcarpy2

Did you know that dogs can't operate MRI machines, but I've heard that cat scan.

My girlfriend got mad because my buddies and I played poker till 2 AM. She was so mad, she took my deck of cards and glued them all together. That was mean! I'm having a hard time dealing with it.

a reply to: ColeYounger2

Good ones.

We ran out of paperclips at work this week.

Everyone's just trying to hold things together...

Lots of Teslas are being sold in Madagascar. Apparently, the people who live there at mad at gas cars.

Several Olympic swimmers became ill after a race last week. They must have been in Seine!

Fun fact:
Most nations in the Middle East don't watch the Flintstones
But Abu Dhabi do

a reply to: underpass61

Classic.
In France, when Fred leaves, he says "Yabba Dabba Adieu."

I put my vacuum cleaner up for sale on eBay.

It was just gathering dust....

a reply to: Oldcarpy2

If you crossed a hen with a hooker, what would it say?

Any cockle do.

a reply to: VariedcodeSole

What do you get if you crossed George Formby with Arnold Schwarzenegger?

""It's turned out nice again, motherf******"."

originally posted by: Oldcarpy2
a reply to: VariedcodeSole

What do you get if you crossed George Formby with Arnold Schwarzenegger?

""It's turned out nice again, motherf******"."

When Windows 7 was introduced, Arnold's friends tried to get him to upgrade, but he refused. Then Windows 8 came out, but he still refused. When they asked him why, he said " i still like Vista, baby."

originally posted by: Oldcarpy2
He bought a warehouse...

Or the dyslexic Satanist?

He sold his soul to Santa.

paddum boom

ting@

originally posted by: VariedcodeSole
a reply to: Oldcarpy2

If you crossed a hen with a hooker, what would it say?

Any cockle do.

Any will do
said the OLD LADY too

A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and …..................... cola.”

“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender.

The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”

Q: What do you call a midget fortune teller who escaped prison?

A: A small medium at large.

originally posted by: randomtangentsrme
Q: What do you call a midget fortune teller who escaped prison?

A: A small medium at large.

What do you call a smug, know-it-all prison inmate as he's climbing down a ladder to escape?

A condescending con descending.

I recently took a poll. 98% of the people were annoyed that their tent collapsed.

I can tell if a person is judgmental just by looking at them.

If you’re being chased by a taxidermist, you probably shouldn't play dead.

We had a calculator with no X button. Times were hard back then.

a reply to: randomtangentsrme

What's it called when 2 midget transexuals have sex...

A microtransaction!

Knock knock. Who's there?

Grandpa!

Sh!t, stop the funeral!

originally posted by: ColeYounger2
Lots of Teslas are being sold in Madagascar. Apparently, the people who live there at mad at gas cars.

Several Olympic swimmers became ill after a race last week. They must have been in Seine!

What’s better than winning gold at the paralympics?

Walking.

If claudia schiffer and brains from thunderbirds had a child would it be a schiffer-brains?

a reply to: Oldcarpy2