Trust and breathe, said The Doctors

I believe I had a spiritual growth experience. I'd like to share it and see if others can corroborate, relate, or comment. I am asking you to take it all at face value as it was shown to me. It was way more complex and beautiful while I experienced it. I simply wrote some words trying my best to describe the experience. It is as if trying to explain a colorful painting to one who is blind, while I am blind still myself.

The "Doctors" said it'd be ok to share it, it's my own choice. It may be pearls cast before swine, it may not--or it may all be nothing more than the ramblings of an old senile man.

I admit my own understanding is limited, and my ability to write and describe even moreso limited. I also admit these ideas are not new, so don't expect some grand epiphany from this. It is simply an old message that found its way to me, I believe.

But here are the words that flowed out of me, inspired and unfiltered. I was tasked to write this.

******

"Trust and Breathe, Trust and Breathe"

Everything is a representation of everything and it tells the story

The duality in the universe comes back to a consciousness throughout time that every soul can trace back to its birth. There is an archival knowledge shared of all living things (souls, perhaps?)

And it begins when consciousness first starts in the womb

We start to become aware of duality, we prefer the light to the dark, we prefer warmth to the cold void

There is only a duality. Me and all that is Inside Me and Out There and all that is out there

The known universe begins with consciousness inside the womb

We experience warmth, love, comfort, but also fear, panic, threat

There are 2 mothers and there are 2 fathers

The mother of love and nurturance is on the right side, and the father of fear and desire is on the left side

The 2nd mother is an animal, a giant spider, who is ravenous, hungry, focused on hunting. A web weaver, provider and giver to her children.

It is not evil, but an animal

Guided by nature, it is part of the spirit of life

It is terrifying.

The father is out of reach on the left side, darkness and void is there

It is outside the experience of the known universe in the womb for me apparently. I could not get much info on the left side where the father should reside. This is why my left ear is nearly dead. My right ear is much better. Many things on my left body are damaged and weak

It is a bad place far off to the left

The left side is indulgence, desire, greed, and can lead to the dark side. Like Darth Vader

It also represents our curiosity for that which is unknown and outside of us

Back to my time in the womb my dad saw me as an end to his pleasures and desires. He fears above all else things like responsibility, control, and balance. It is living chaos. He wants to live as the wild hunting spirit animal.

The other father I believe is akin to an actual devil, way out of reach of my mind and experience, while the 1st mother is the divine love. I don’t know what represents the animal father, I couldn’t find it, though I kept searching.

Abortion is one of the most disgusting things in the universe and the baby feels it. It's whole known universe dies, ripped in two, and it feels it all while dying: extreme confusion and pain, regret, and wishing for mother's love and protection.

There are 2 mothers and 2 fathers. We choose the light over the dark

Remember, the hunting animals do not murder and kill for pleasure and perverse satiety, they hunt to perpetuate the cycle of life and time, to nurture the cycle of life and death—feeding and recycling.

They don’t wantonly kill like some humans do, and some animals do as well.

The whole universe is violence though

Do we care about the violent eruptions and collisions between atoms?

The ebb and flow and duality of experience of that which I Am Inside and that which is Outside is expressed in everything, even atoms and planets

All of our physical movements are an expression of the same consciousness they experience. Our entire physical body and existence and everything we experience is the same expression

It is the ebb and flow and duality that keeps experience and time moving. It is all fluctuating

The ocean waves high and low

Otherwise time would just slow down and stop without death and destruction and chaos

The atoms feel their own waves of change and it is a violent and turbulent existence where they feel motion and interactions

As I said we never think about the violence of the other levels, but it's there too.

There becomes an addiction to our desires

I am apparently a soul who has become an addict in the greater spiritual scheme. I am basically in rehab and am assured there are some kind of "doctors" that help us out. They do this because they know just as little as anything about the nature of the universe, but they recognize kindred souls and want to help

Wanting to help Others while they’re in a vulnerable position is one of the most noble acts we can do, especially as the Outside represents all unknowns and fears and threats to us.

We must trust and breathe, trust and breathe

These “doctors” only know there are other souls going through a journey that is built like a pyramid from the time of our birth, time in the womb

The animals are below us, the ocean waves (nature) is below the animals, there are "doctors" above us

They don't totally know how high and low anything goes above and below

It is all a very relative and confined experience for each of us, growing in the womb

There is an extreme spiraling stairway that goes in both directions up and down, built around the spine

They only know that the light is preferable to the dark for them and for others like me. Up is preferable, the right is preferable, warmth is preferable, love is preferable, health is preferable

So they asked me to trust and let them help treat me

Trust and breathe, trust and breathe

Then my body went into a kind of convulsive dance while I was lying on my back

It mimicked many things such as feeling around in the womb, reaching out and kicking

Seeing my hands for the first time, my nose out of focus as I look off to the side, all experienced too in the womb

The dance took on many forms like the movements of playing drums or stretching like Bruce Lee

I was building up some kind of chi energy while being told this story. Warmth generated by the twitching and contortions of muscles in motion while I danced

The story of all known consciousness from womb to the unknown that is experienced by all
It’s all a story, or a program, or possible computer simulation. The doctors would not explain further, other than ‘It is our story.’

Sometimes my dance took on the articulations of the Hindu gods with many arms and legs in positions, then quickly changed to dancing Native Indians to the rhythm of drums and animal skins. Flames of passion and warmth

I was spiraling back down to the womb and forward up the winding staircase making all these movements I felt releases of pressure and nervous energy

It all coils in us endlessly. I felt all the tight spiral coils in my nervous system loosen and slowly unravel. Not only is there the grand staircase at the center. There are endless coils in all directions stretching out beyond each arm, leg, finger, and toe. Belly button.

[continued...]

I felt them all loosen and unravel like a healing massage. I no longer felt rigid and arthritic.

This is the importance of breathing and yoga and martial arts and riding a bicycle

Even passionate sex is a healing exercise

If we stop the motions within our own body, it’s like a whole universe growing cold and still and approaches death as it slows

Our body is a representation of half our known universe. The I Am Inside part

Our main goal is to want to live in harmony with the Outside

It is after all the only other thing we know about ourselves since our time in the womb

There is Outside and there is I Am Inside

Duality

We have tools to help express and understand and live in harmony with the outside

We have intelligence, love, desire, fear etc.

We learn literature and music

They're all part of the song and dance of creation

It's all built into every structure and organ of life

The atoms experience their own kind of music

It is very dynamic like drums

Explosions like cymbals peppering the music

We flail hands and kick feet in the womb playing our own drums

The left and the right. The mother and the father

During my repetitive dances there was singing and words to help explain it all

I could see everything in my room and field of vision was there for a reason

It all represented consciousness at work leading to this point

It's an educational program

I could see a spider crawling across my ceiling

It's okay, it’s just a deeper part of my spirit crawling along the surfaces of the known edge of the universe

We're basically all still just kicking around in the womb making movements, while the outside known universe expands

Do we get caught in addiction of the left and lower stairways fueled by curiosity and desire?

Or do we seek love and light and warmth on the right, up the stairway

The doctors assured me the healing they were doing and the knowledge I was receiving was because I asked for it. I asked to know just a little more about where and why. The reason it was granted is because they believed I had a genuine desire to do the hardest thing imaginable to me, forgive the chaos and destruction of the left side, and my father.

For that is also built into the universe, atoms collide all the time and they can't cry about it

Spiders hunt their prey

All time stops if this doesn't happen

There was also a moment where I saw and felt my soul in other incarnations

I was a T-Rex at one point, ferocious and powerful and hunting. There were too many lives I’ve lived that raced past my understanding faster than I could take it in. We are ancient and timeless

But eventually we move from the left to the right and aim for true balance, on and up the staircase

True neutral are the waves of the ocean, the motions of atoms. Center

But we are drawn to the archival situation of souls and our shared situation. We become pulled to the right by love of others, friends, family, animals etc.

All we know is each other and the Inside-Outside perception

We ebb and flow and move from left to right and up and down

Sometimes attracted to the dark, sometimes attracted to the light

It is the pendulum flow and motion that allows for time and experience to exist

Another reason I was given this experience from the “doctors” is because they know I'm not here to hurt or take advantage of anyone

They know if I was ever in a position to take advantage of someone, that I simply wouldn't do it willfully

They know me going back through time and want to help me, I fell into addiction of the left side, the dark side

We must also use tools on the left side though, pure physical strength and determination come from the left side

Our sense of alert and panic and survival as well. Even innovation and risk-taking

Our attraction to the strange, dark, and mysterious is on the left

Our love for the known familiar, warmth, and balance is on the right, the mother

Technology and exploitation on the left. Misuse and greed

But drums and dance and all movements and expressions require coordination between the left and right

Hands, feet, left brain-right brain, all the senses of the left and right sides, sense of balance

Our lesson on this level is to choose harmony with the Outside

Or we'll sink and fall to the left and become like Darth Vader. Dark Father, pulled down the stairs

Far to the right is the divine mother

Earth and animals are there

The ocean waves still in the center, balance

The black void off to the left

Still in my dance understanding the music and words and motions of all creation

It's all represented in our arm movements and kicks and drums and cymbals and literature and knowledge and archival knowledge and tidal flows and curiosities and fears and darknesses and strength and desire eventually pulls us back up and to the right

We're still in the womb, the known walls of the universe just keep expanding, our understandings of what we're observing become more detailed and cohesive

Our imaginations and understandings explode

But it's still just all I see in front of me vs all I feel inside of me

Right back to the moment we first feel in the womb

Abortion is the death of a whole universe

It's an entire planet of life and potential being ripped into a cold lifeless rock split in two, not even in full motion anymore

The point of life is to go through an educational program to teach us this spiritual knowledge that helps us choose the light

We're low on the totem

Spiders below (animal kingdom) and doctors above (angels maybe?)

They would only describe themselves as “doctors”

Physical, emotional, spiritual, knowledge, wisdom, art, music…doctors

It's all the same meaning to them

They heal more than just physical

But they wouldn't say much about anything else, just kind of chuckled, bemused by all my questions

They truly don't know what's above them or below them either

That staircase, that winding snake spiral

It goes up into the head and beyond

Eyes straight up. All we can see

It unwinds and unwinds seemingly infinitely

Down below is the darkness and sludge where consciousness first began. Everything slows down here, and it speeds up again as we move up the stairs. This is all expressed in sound, colors, crests and splashes of the waves

Down and to the left are mostly thoughts of panic and "what's this? what's this?", the first experiences of consciousness

Trying to make sense of the first things we can see and feel

Up and to the right is the magnet of the divine loving mother where understanding increases and fear and panic decreases. Literature, art, intelligence, music and love increase, and time speeds up, all through the staircase

This is my program specifically I guess

I understand everything that I was shown and explained

You might not understand the references such as spiders or drums

But your experience of life is your own program

You will understand all that happened and why and the imagery all means something specifically to you. It will all click and fall into place in a spasm of clarity

How you open that file I don't know, I don't even understand how I opened mine

I am to understand I am basically in a care facility where others are helping me

I'm not a guru or buddha. I'm an addict on the road to recovery with outside help from above

We have help above. This is our story.

Trust and breathe, trust and breathe

a reply to: AlroyFarms

Thankyou for sharing and glad you have caring people around you.

Many words to consider and many I understand and recognise.

Everything Always Unfolds Perfectly.

Peace to you.

Good story about coming to terms with reality and what to do about it.

Wow, that is long. There was some good stuff in the 2 OPs but it was too long to keep my interest. I read a while, then scanned it, saw the spider thing and checked that out, then went to the end to see if it concluded anything.

I gave it stars and a flag because it seemed pretty decent, but a little too long on that subject for me. I read science research mostly. Others might like reading that stuff, we are all different. Then again, when I make a real long post, it even bores me to read my own post.

a reply to: rickymouse

Trust me bruh, I didn't even want to write it! I know it's long and weird and boring. Repetitive too. There's a lot to take in and absorb and try to tie it all up neat with a ribbon.

I don't make any bold claims or beliefs here. I am not stressing the importance or significance of anything, nor am I preaching anything in any way. There is no science. That's why it's in Philosophy and Metaphysics.

It's just an experience I had that I'm struggling to understand. I just had to trust that I wrote it the best I could for what it was, preserved as best as it was given to me.

I am still filled with questions. I'm just a messenger on this one.

a reply to: AlroyFarms

It's just an experience I had that I'm struggling to understand.

For a couple of similar experiences:

1/ In 2008 I woke up to 9/11. There where a couple of moments on the live stream I questioned, but it got washed away with my trust in the media. After watching WTC 7 fall, my heart fell out of my chest and shattered on the floor. One powerful dream during this time was getting taken to a MASH unit high in the mountains. Lot of others getting similar damaged by this realization. Things did pick up after this when questioning everything.

2/ When getting into storm area 51, had one night with some lucid dreaming where I got visited by lots of different animals. Each animal focused on a different part of my body and helped clean some of it up. Done more good than bad.

I don't know if this helps understand or just make more complicated?

originally posted by: kwaka

I don't know if this helps understand or just make more complicated?

Thanks for sharing! I was unsure whether to post at all. I don't think it does any harm to share and see what comes of it.

It was my understanding we all have a unique guidance program in place and all the details will make sense when it's supposed to.

My symbols, and imagery, and motifs do not mean the same thing to others. I think everyone will understand the context of things in their lives when they're meant to.

All the things were put in place for me to understand them and their relationships in my own way. I have no doubt others will have had similar moments.

I welcome any stories or experiences that can shed some light on all this mystery surrounding us. I'm sorry but Trump and Biden just doesn't do it for me. I want real answers, and I think they come from within.

Be well friend.

originally posted by: AlroyFarms
a reply to: rickymouse

Trust me bruh, I didn't even want to write it! I know it's long and weird and boring. Repetitive too. There's a lot to take in and absorb and try to tie it all up neat with a ribbon.

I don't make any bold claims or beliefs here. I am not stressing the importance or significance of anything, nor am I preaching anything in any way. There is no science. That's why it's in Philosophy and Metaphysics.

It's just an experience I had that I'm struggling to understand. I just had to trust that I wrote it the best I could for what it was, preserved as best as it was given to me.

I am still filled with questions. I'm just a messenger on this one.

I saw some good deep philosophy in the post, but it almost overwhelmed me trying to analyze it to find a purpose of what it collectively said....so I got bored since it got overwhelming trying to tie it all together. Maybe bored is not the right word for what I was experiencing. It almost sounded like some sort of meditation or something. I don't comprehend some of that meditation stuff very well, if I cannot analyze it I seem to quit.