Confessions of a Tormented Catholic

Okay, so this is a really long story and I'm very new here, but bear with me. I've been increasingly uncomfortable lately for a reason that's rather difficult to express.

Let's just say that from childhood, I've been a bit peculiar. I used to talk to "things" my father (who is a genuine precog) couldn't see but could sense. For awhile, during my awkward preteen years, things were quiet for me.

I suppose I should mention that my family is Roman Catholic - it certainly explains a lot.

Anyway, after I was confirmed in 8th grade, I started seeing "creepers" again. I knew they were the same things I had seen as a child. For awhile I was intrigued, and in an attempt to be "oh so goth", I broke a cardinal rule and told others about what I had seen, offering proof by going through a deck of Rider playing cards and naming 42 out of 52 cards correctly. As punishment, things went quiet again, for a long time.

But now something is bearing down on me. It has been almost seven years since my last experience, and I cannot shake the feeling of being constantly followed and watched (I know everyone here will have to laugh at that - who amongst us hasn't felt that way?) But this really is incessant!

The bad part is, that while I have a number of close friends all too willing to help, I hurt people who try to help me. I have fainting spells in which I say things I don't remember and manic fits when I scream things I don't understand. I have been tested and medicated and tested again. Though schitzophrenia runs in my family, even psychiatrists are wary when they "see" what bothers me.

It (he) can tell me things that seem psychic in nature, though I don't have psychic ability myself. I have a phobia of corners, mirrors and doors. I have a problem turning off lights and oftentimes the sensation of weight bearing down on my back. The sun sometimes makes me deliriously happy and I get pains that seem to cut in under my heart.

Any ideas what I should do or what this could be? I have been told by several people (psychics, shrinks and "normal" ones) that the impressions they get don't make sense, that my life (or moreoften they use the word "destiny") is like the plot of a bad movie. I know that somehow I made a mistake (bigger than the playing cards) and that I am supposed to do something, but I don't know what to do because I genuinely can't tell if whatever it is has my best interests in mind.

It's puzzling that the bunch of experts here have chosen not to reply to someone that goes through all the trouble to explain her case. Don't let that discourage you. It's not for me to go around dealing out any advice since my paranormal experiences, which I've described in other threads, & shouldn't have, given the zero feedback, have been few & far between. Unfortunately there's no way I can go back & delete those posts now. If I reply it's because I, too, am unable to go to sleep in the dark, for a reason I pointed out in a thread started by CassieClay. Am I the only one wishing you would continue your story? I hope not.

For those of us that have not seen, heard or felt any type of experience such as this, to relate to it. Therefore, its hard to know how to give advice or help to someone when we're "speechless", so to speak.
Humans are curious creatures But sometimes, their curiosity leads them to places that frighten them - so they back off and run for the hills.

I have no idea what to say. All I know is that we're all here to learn from every event in our lives. My own personal advice would be meditation and prayer. Keep it simple and then perhaps, maybe, life will become simpler/easier.

Best wishes to you.

Cheers

Since your catholic go to confession and tell a priest about this. Im sure he could help you out with this.

Originally posted by supremetechgoddess
Any ideas what I should do or what this could be? I know that somehow I made a mistake (bigger than the playing cards) and that I am supposed to do something, but I don't know what to do because I genuinely can't tell if whatever it is has my best interests in mind.

I don't believe you said you guenuinely wanted this stuff to stop. So that's my first question, do you want this stuff to stop?

My advice is if not, then you need to get to that point. Then the only one who can deliver someone from evil is Jesus Christ. You need to get on your knees and accept Christ as your Savior and willingly accept what He's done and tell Him you want to be free from your sins and this oppression. You can do this by yourself with God or ask someone to help you.

You also need to remove anything from your home and life if you have it, ANYTHING that is occultic in nature. Even music that promotes sin and evil. Even if it's something dear to you. Throw it all away and verbally renounce anything you have done or dabbled in that is of an occultic and evil practice.

Then with Christ you are a new creation and are the dwelling place of God(Holy Sprit)and you will need to lean on Him and get advice from others who know Him and to daily walk with Him. You will also need to read and study your Bible. Only read each day until you feel God speak to you. It might be half a verse or 10 chapters, but be consistent.

And there is no way to make this sound nice but don't pursue the Roman Catholic denomination, that will not help you and it might have started this. Let me know how it goes.

[edit on 25-4-2005 by dbrandt]

[edit on 25-4-2005 by dbrandt]

Originally posted by dbrandt
And there is no way to make this sound nice but don't pursue the Roman Catholic denomination, that will not help you and it might have started this. Let me know how it goes.

[edit on 25-4-2005 by dbrandt]

What the hell are you talking about? The church will do anything to help someone. If need be theyll evan perform an excorcism.

Originally posted by Croat56

Originally posted by dbrandt
And there is no way to make this sound nice but don't pursue the Roman Catholic denomination, that will not help you and it might have started this. Let me know how it goes.

[edit on 25-4-2005 by dbrandt]

What the hell are you talking about? The church will do anything to help someone. If need be theyll evan perform an excorcism.

OK, here's the scoop, I believe we are coming very very close to the return of Jesus Christ to this earth. And if that's the case(as I believe) the time for tip toeing around sensitive issues is over. The Roman Catholic denomination DOES NOT teach salvation. It promotes things that God specifically tells us not to do. These practices harm and don't help. People need to hear the truth of the salvation found only in Christ and what HE HAS already done on the CROSS! And how He delivers us from evil.


Now let's say we are decades away from the return of Christ. OK does that mean we don't have to spread the truth and weed out lies because there is plenty of time. Absolutely not. Why, because yet tonight there are people who will come to the end of their life. Heart attack, murdered, old age, auto accident, cancer etc. No one is guaranteed another moment, it's only by the grace of God(receiving that which we don't deserve) that we have each moment of life.

[edit on 25-4-2005 by dbrandt]

I have no Idea what's causing what you discribe, but the first thing I would do is discount your religion as a reason. I was brought up in a Catholic family too, I was even an altar boy. As an adult I don't adhere to any religion, though I still believe in "God" though not in the sense that most religions see it.

The point is, remember that the religion you have is the religion you were born with. You did not actively choose it. The same as if you were born in Tibet you'd most likely be a Buddhist and if you were born in Iran, Iraq etc., you'd most likely be Muslim. I don't know what's causing your problem, but In my opinion you should discard religion as a cause.

Just my opinion again, but maybe overly focusing on your religion as a cause is aggrevating it, if not being the source of some of it?

Originally posted by dbrandt
OK, here's the scoop, I believe we are coming very very close to the return of Jesus Christ to this earth. And if that's the case(as I believe) the time for tip toeing around sensitive issues is over. The Roman Catholic denomination DOES NOT teach salvation. It promotes things that God specifically tells us not to do. These practices harm and don't help. People need to hear the truth of the salvation found only in Christ and what HE HAS already done on the CROSS! And how He delivers us from evil.


Now let's say we are decades away from the return of Christ. OK does that mean we don't have to spread the truth and weed out lies because there is plenty of time. Absolutely not. Why, because yet tonight there are people who will come to the end of their life. Heart attack, murdered, old age, auto accident, cancer etc. No one is guaranteed another moment, it's only by the grace of God(receiving that which we don't deserve) that we have each moment of life.

[edit on 25-4-2005 by dbrandt]

You want to explain it or should I just call you a basher right now?

Croat56, there's not much difference between what you call "bashing" and constantly hitting anyone with a diverse opinion over the the head with the baseball bat of "righteousness".

Think about it.

Originally by Croat56
You want to explain it or should I just call you a basher right now?

I believe that what dbrandt is referring too is that the RCC does have dogma that goes clearly against the bible, and they believe that their dogma supersedes the bible. This is a typical protestant view, and one which I personally hold true being a protestant myself. Here are a few beliefs of the RCC that are held to be unbiblical by most protestant religions, many of which came from Rome dealing with pagan religions over the years:

1. Salvation through works, not the grace of God.
   
2. Confession.
   
3. Purgatory.
   
4. Prayer to/through Mary and other saints.
   
5. Papal infallablity.
   
6. Persecution of Heretics.
   

There are many more, but these are the main ones. If you want a bigger list, I would look up Martin Luther’s 99 Thesis against the Roman Catholic Church. Luther started out as an Augustinian Monk, and after reading the bible for himself became disillusioned with the RCC due to their going against things that are clearly in the bible, and making up other things that are not.

As far as the main topic goes, it sounds like you might have a combination of physical, mental, and spiritual factors going on. When you end up with multiple issues, they can be difficult to diagnose, especially if some only happen infrequently such as certain types of seizure activity. Pain under the heart could be an issue with your gallbladder or a hiatal (sp) hernia, for instance. The stuff about feeling panicky and feeling like someone is on your back can be due to sleep paralysis/sleep apnea, also the claustrophobia and fear of the dark may relate to that. Point is it may not be a single thing, but overlapping multiple issues.


[edit on 4/25/2005 by defcon5]

Yeah i agree,

I think it is a combination. And also being protestant myself, i agree that there are things The RCC does that are not biblical. hence why i am protestantl. But in all fairness, i think all denominations have their faults in some way or another. We arent perfect. Others i just find to have more things wrong.. so i choose the one that i feel follows it the closest. hence again, why i am protestant. LOL.


As far as what you're experiencing i agree that it is probably a combination of things. Pray, ask for strength, and guidence, and also use your God given intellect to research this as best as you can. Remember to try and stay as rational as you can when these things occur, The best way to solve a problem is to keep a clear mind.

Kind Regards,
Digital Grl

Salvation through works, not the grace of God.

Confession.

Purgatory.

Prayer to/through Mary and other saints.

Papal infallablity.

Persecution of Heretics.

1. Gotta do good things

2.Whats wrong with confession?

3.So? Purgatory exhists

4.Did you know that they have elected anti-popes incase a pope turned out bad?

5.Well theyre wrong



supremetechgoddess like I said earlier go to your local church and see a priest. He will help you.

[edit on 4/26/2005 by Croat56]

i have no clear idea about this myself and churches do more harm then good(personal experiences). and as some said religion isn't what brought you your problem to begin with.

i can only suggest to start working more actively with energies. become a budhist, do reiki, start using magic or whatever. meditate and travel to the higher realms and ask your questions there. get an ethereal guide to help you out.

just ignore all this jesus and religious blabla. won't get you nowhere. you don't need an excorcism and people from the church are even more clueless as what is going on.

you got some chaotic entities near you but that's all i know from the text you wrote. that's why you gotta get up there and ask the question yourself. performing a little cleansing of your area whenever they are near might help, but not 100% sure. it would only clean your room and you'd still be vulnerable on the streets and whereever they follow you.

So? Purgatory exhists[edit on 4/26/2005 by Croat56]

Ok first of all, thats all you can say..to prove your claim. Actually you cant prove that it does. You have an apocrypha that says it does. Biblically, the word purgatory does not exist. The concept of purgatory is not found in the original 66 books of the bible but the apocrypha: "2 Maccabees. The author of 2 Maccabees is not identified, but he claims to be abridging a 5-volume work by Jason of Cyrene. This longer work is not preserved, and it is uncertain how much of the present text of 2 Maccabees is simply copied from that work. The author wrote in Greek, apparently, as there is no particular evidence of an earlier Hebrew version"http://en.wikipedia.org (online encyclopedia)

also "In Roman Catholic theology, Purgatory is a process of purification after the particular judgment and before entry into Heaven. One of the first documents to mention purgatorium was a letter from the Benedictine Nicholas of Saint Albans to the Cistercian Peter of Celle in 1176 (Haggh, 1997)." also from encyclopedia,

so it is a man made docturine, written after the Bible was written. Which i will also say, (and this is historical not a bashing) that the catholics popularized this concept during the time of indulgences..not the act..the selling of them. The claimed purgatory (at that time) as a real place in order to take advantage of familes who had lost loved ones. The ability to offer a full pardon of the punishment due for sins has been abused by some unscrupulous Roman Catholic hierarchs for monetary gain (a problem during the time of Martin Luther) and to motivate their faithful to do a number of things over history. A plenary indulgence was proclaimed by Pope Urban II in 1095, and by several of his successors, to anyone who went on the Crusades to re-claim the Holy Land from the Saracens, or who died along the way.

In 1517, Pope Leo X offered indulgences for those who gave alms to rebuild St. Peter's Basilica in Rome, a situation that took on the appearance of "selling indulgences." The aggressive marketing practices of Johann Tetzel in promoting this cause provoked Martin Luther to nail his 95 theses to the church door at Wittenberg, protesting what he saw as the purchase and sale of salvation. This also then refutes the idea that popes are infalliable. Because if they are then you would be saying the above acts are Ok.

But this is really irrelevant to the TOPIC Of the post. Just wanted to support my claim thats all.

All i can say is..Man cannot Judge another man's heart. as long as you believe the message of Jesus Christ that is what is the MOST important thing.

Kind regards,
Digital Grl

Croat56 I am not going to argue religious politics here with you, it is not what the question was about. I was simply explaining where dbrandt was coming from. I will respond to your questions, then that is the end of it as far as I am concerned, because there is no WAY you can show any of these items to be biblical, because they are not…

As to the first question:

By grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God. Not of works, lest any man should boast (Eph. 2:8-9).

AS to the next two, there are no bible quotes to give you as they are entirely RCC engineered dogmas and do not exist in the bible in the same form as the RCC teaches them. Confession only has to be given to a priest in the RCC, in the bible it simply states that a man can come directly to God, ask forgiveness and it is granted, no mediator required. Purgatory goes against such things as Christ telling the thief on the cross that “today you will be with me in paradise”, not “hay ill see you after you do your 100 years in purgatory”. Totally unbiblical.

As far as Anti-popes go they were not elected by the church in case a pope went bad, but came from schisms in the church. By definition:

An Antipope is a person claiming to be Pope who was not duly elected or proclaimed while a duly elected Pope was still in office. Since Antipopes by definition base their claims on defiance of proper Church authority, all have been harmful to the Church, though a few have later reformed after giving up their claims.

Since I as a non-Catholic Christian even know this, it makes me wonder if you even know what you are accusing someone else of bashing about?

As to the last item, yep they were wrong, and they were wrong enough that a lot of people now belong to different protestant churches because of it, yet the RCC refuses to this day to admit to any errors.


[edit on 4/26/2005 by defcon5]

Originally posted by Croat56

Salvation through works, not the grace of God.
Confession.
Purgatory.
Prayer to/through Mary and other saints.
Papal infallablity.
Persecution of Heretics.

1. Gotta do good things
2.Whats wrong with confession?
3.So? Purgatory exhists
4.Did you know that they have elected anti-popes incase a pope turned out bad?
5.Well theyre wrong
supremetechgoddess like I said earlier go to your local church and see a priest. He will help you.

[edit on 4/26/2005 by Croat56]

1. Gotta do good things - this goes directly against what it says in the bible- jesus is the ONLY way to salvation. good works are all well and good but are not a necisary thing. salvation is a gift freely given, you do not have to do good works as a type of payment.

2.Whats wrong with confession?- the fact that you need to recieve absolution from a man, (priest). we need to confess our sins to God directly, only HE can give absolution. there is no need for an earthly forgiveness, that is why christ died to be the supream sacrafice for our sins. no need for earthly punishments such as "hail marys".

3.So? Purgatory exhists - where in the bible does it say anything about something like purgatory. in fact jesus paid for our sins when he unjustly died as the final sacrifice. there is no need for payment by suffering for past sins. we are forgiven unconditionaly. god forgives us without need for payment.

4.Did you know that they have elected anti-popes incase a pope turned out bad?- yes. that is one reason why a pope can not be infalible in even maters of doctorin. it is ovious that they are not by that very fact. they WERE popes before they were called antipopes, therefore they were not infalible, just changeing what you call them afterwords does not change this. if a pope was infalible then an antipope COULD NOT have become pope in the first place.

5.Well they're wrong - i asume that you are referring to herritics being wrong? yes most probably were, but not all were. not only that there were many cases where it seems that the church profited handsomely from killing off these suposid heritics. also bear in mind that those who believed that the world was round were heritics, is the earth round or flat? so these heritics were not heritics at all, they just realized that church teaching was not correct. and also heritics were tortured in many cases to renounce "their sinfull thoughts". and there was some convert or die things that happened as well through the rcc.

i notice that you forgot to deal whith the praying through mary and other saints. you do not need to pray to those raised in status through men, not god. jesus taught that we should pray directly to god, the LORDS PRAYER was an example of how we should do this.

i do not mean to belittle your version of the truth but this is how i and most protistants view things done by the catholic church as wrong.

as for the real topic here. could you describe these creapers for us please? it would help us try to figure out what they may be. it' just hard to figure out what may be happening with an undiscribed thing. the fact you call them creepers seems to say that for some reason that you think they may be evil in nature. perhapes you could tell us how they make you feel? do they give off some sort of aura? what do they say and tell you? or do you only percieve them without communication?

i am intriqued with what you said but there is not enough info to figure out what is happening.

i noticed that you seem to think that catholics seem to have a lot more of these spiritual things happen to them. could this be a fact or is it possibly that catholics seem to be prone to attach spiritual meanings to things that others find other reasons for? that in its self is an interesting question.

now again i mean no offence, but am truly interested in listening to what you have to say. but one thing i have often wondered from things that i have heard about the rcc, is that they may be possibly be led by demons and not the holy spirit. this could possibly account for such a seemingly higher rate of dealing with things unexplained. it is an interesting thougt. well worth takeing a look at. i am not trying to say that catholics are evil by this. is it possible perhaps that the rcc has been led astray at some point from the truth? and that some recieve such things to try to bring them into the light so to speak about what they are taught and believe.

on the other hand many non catholics that are devout belivers also tend to deal with a lot of unexplained things. but why is it not as common? is it because it does not happen as frequintly, is it just not told to other people so much, or mabe even that some refuse to believe it and so never say anything because they are afraid to be thought of as insane? again interesting questions that need looking at. we realy need to hear from anyone who has experianced such things. mabe then we could come to understand what actualy is going on.

[edit on 26-4-2005 by drogo]

Hmmm...

I think with the combination of our 3 posts and the credible outside sources i used to state our claims...this discussion is pretty much over

Now back to helping this poor guy with his grievace......

My prayers our with you buddy
Kind regards,
Digital Grl

Originally posted by DigitalGrl
Hmmm...

I think with the combination of our 3 posts and the credible outside sources i used to state our claims...this discussion is pretty much over

Oh this is not over. Ill admit that I am not to good at writing down my thoughts and reasons. Just cant get it from my head to my fingers. Uh it frustrates me sometimes. Anyway I know there are others here that can explain it much better then I can. Oh and since you think we're all wrong Ill just leave you with this.
Oh and I dont care what you believe. Really I couldnt care less. Just dont go around saying crap like my religion is wrong. Peace out fallowers of Christ.

Croat56, giving a link to the Messages of Mary web site, of which her divine origin is NOT going to be recognized by anyone that is a protestant, and most feel is a false deity of the RCC, is supposed to prove what?

The divinity of Mary is another non-biblical Roman Catholic concoction. You tell me where in the bible Mary is mentioned to be anything more then a normal human and the mother of Christ. When she died that was it, same as every other human. These messages are either frauds, or they are not of divine origin. There are many that believe that the deified version of Mary that the RCC worships so fervently goes back to goddess/child worship from Ishtar, Astre, Isis, and Venus and other pagan goddesses titled, “the queen of heaven”

As a matter of fact this is where the Roman Catholic Church came up with Easter, it was the celebration of Ishtar, hence the rabbits, eggs, and other fertility symbolism.

en.wikipedia.org...

So you’re giving me a web site about a deity that I do not believe to be of divine origins, but of an ancient false goddess and therefore possibly a fallen angel in the guise of an angel of light, does little to prove much to me.

As far as this discussion being done here, it is for me. I disagree with us hi-jacking this thread over this discussion, if you wish to continue it, start a new thread.




[edit on 4/26/2005 by defcon5]