Ducks

3 women died in an accident, went to Heaven together and when they got to the Pearly Gates, St Peter said "There's only one rule here, don't step on the ducks".
Sure enough they go through the gate and there are ducks everywhere.

A few days go by and the first woman steps on a duck. St Peter appears and has the ugliest man you can imagine with him and chains them together. He says "This is your punishment for stepping on a duck, you shall spend eternity chained to this ugly man".

A few weeks later the second woman steps on a duck and St Peter appears again and chains her to another ugly man, telling her "This is your punishment for stepping on a duck, you shall spend eternity chained to this ugly man".

The 3rd woman saw all this and was very careful. Years went by and she didn't step on a duck, but one day St Peter appeared with the most handsome man you could ever imagine with him and chained them together and left without saying a word.

She said "Oh my goodness, I can't imagine what I did to deserve this !!"



The man looked at her and said "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck"

a reply to: DAVID64
🤣

It's nice to see my back covered in heaven.

a reply to: DAVID64

lol... here's another one with ducks in it.


A man walks into a bar, sits at the bar and orders from the bartender. He reaches down into his backpack and takes out this small grand piano, just a miniature thing, like a foot long. And he reaches back in and takes out a small piano stool. And in again and he takes out this small guy, and the guy sits down on the stool and starts playing the piano!

And the bartender runs over, "Hey man, this is so cool, where'd you get this little guy?"

And the customer reaches into his backpack again and goes, "Well, you're not gonna believe me, but I found this lamp and I rubbed it and a genie came out and he granted me a wish."

"Whoah, do you mind if I try?" said the bartender.

"Knock yourself out," said the man.

And the bartender rubs the lamp and says, "I wish for a million bucks!"

And just like that the whole place fills up with a million ducks, they're making a mess, flying all around, pooping everywhere! And the bartender screams, "Hey, this isn't what I asked for! I asked for a million BUCKS!"

And the customer smiles, "Do you think I asked for a twelve inch pianist?"

A duck walks into a drugstore and asks for a chapstick. The guy at the counter asks "Cash or card?" The duck says, "Just put it on my bill."

And about the OP, there is no time in heaven. At least that is what that book says. Most people don't get that part. Everyone shows up at once. Think about that. Everybody from all of history at the pearly gates all at the same instant. No matter when you depart, you all arrive at the same time.

Selection 5, 'Duck Soup'

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That is enough ducking jokes from me.

a reply to: Mahogany
🤣 I love that one and it works in my language too, going to have to memorize it 🤣🤣

a reply to: Mahogany

lol okay we need a OP with a running log of Jokes .

A mile away.

Hey, did anyone hear about the man who walked into a second hand store to get one for his watch?

originally posted by: TerryMcGuire
Hey, did anyone hear about the man who walked into a second hand store to get one for his watch?

You mean the store that sells raspberry berets? What other flavors do they have?

Duck Field Trip Goes Wrong
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a reply to: ToddB

Ok, it got me. I was all upset....