So Freaking Tired

I'm tired of Seeking. I've been various shades of Christian, neo-Pagan, former tonsured clergy in ROCOR. I've studied. I've done deep dives. Atheism seems too stringent, and most major religions don't really hold up for various reasons. I'm middle aged and still searching that which will give me peace. Tired of the lies, omissions, additions and distortions.

I'm tired.

Maybe look into ancient, hidden history on youtube. I did that and realize now that nothing weve been told is accurate anyhow. I wasnt seeking religion but it always fascinated me until I followed the deep dives on hidden history and see how much has been manipulated, some intentionally, others just lost to time and remade as seemed appropriate at the time.

Its a massive rabbit hole and I found that I come out of it above religion but still in awe of the creation, if that makes sense.

a reply to: Stonewaller

religion is poison... take what you can from it... and find your way without

a reply to: Stonewaller
Philosophy may hold some of the answers.
It helped me a lot and still does.

originally posted by: Stonewaller
I'm tired of Seeking. I've been various shades of Christian, neo-Pagan, former tonsured clergy in ROCOR. I've studied. I've done deep dives. Atheism seems too stringent, and most major religions don't really hold up for various reasons. I'm middle aged and still searching that which will give me peace. Tired of the lies, omissions, additions and distortions.

I'm tired.

Have you tried any of the psychonautical substances. Sure helped me to concoct my own theology that I can do business with.

a reply to: Stonewaller

I believe in mushrooms.

So i think i believe in myself or something.

originally posted by: Stonewaller
I'm tired of Seeking. I've been various shades of Christian, neo-Pagan, former tonsured clergy in ROCOR. I've studied. I've done deep dives. Atheism seems too stringent, and most major religions don't really hold up for various reasons. I'm middle aged and still searching that which will give me peace. Tired of the lies, omissions, additions and distortions.

I'm tired.

I can really relate to this seen from the movie "From Dusk Till Dawn". For me, it encapsulates my own position, personally, and perhaps its where you might find yourself now too. Faith is a rollercoaster which can be easily decimated by simple common sense.


The emptiness and underlying contempt that Harvey Keitel's character exhibits when discussing the finality of his wife's death in relation to his faith is just great writing. However, it does show how bottomed out a person can be in the face of so much that seemingly goes unnoticed and unpunished.

I appreciate your sentiment and the scene in that clip. And understand what the OP is talking about. And realize that "faith is not a possession of all people." In fact that is what scripture says - 2 Thessalonians 3:2.

Addressing the sentiments in the OP, what you say brings to mind the words of Jesus Christ from the famous Sermon on the Mount when he said:

“Keep on asking, and it will be given you; keep on seeking, and you will find; keep on knocking, and it will be opened to you; for everyone asking receives, and everyone seeking finds, and to everyone knocking, it will be opened."-Matthew 7:7-8.

So the effort is required. Pray to the true God even if you don't know who he is. He is there and he notices all prayers. And he indeed answers all sincere ones. When it happens take notice of it. That can help you to have more faith. When it comes to the true God there is no coincidence when he answers you, and gently draws you to him. Will you have the eyes to see when that happens? I wonder how many times God has answered the prayers of faithful servants, and even of those who do not serve him but pray in earnest, and those same ones do not acknowledge the miracle that happened in their life. Missing the opportunity to draw closer to God and find a relationship with him.

A music video comes to mind that illustrates how God answers prayers of sincere-hearted ones searching for him:

The Search

What if an angel talked to you? Would you pay attention? An angel is calling out from midheaven. Notice!:

"And I saw another angel flying in midheaven, and he had everlasting good news to declare to those who dwell on the earth, to every nation and tribe and tongue and people. He was saying in a loud voice: “Fear God and give him glory, because the hour of judgment by him has arrived, so worship the One who made the heaven and the earth and the sea and the springs of water.”-Revelation 14:6-7.

The angels are involved in the preaching work that is happening today. And God directs his witnesses the way he will to those whose hearts are disposed for everlasting life. Wherever Jehovah's witnesses are active and witnessing, you can be assured at least one angel is nearby directing things and observing.

originally posted by: randomuser

The angels are involved in the preaching work that is happening today. And God directs his witnesses the way he will to those whose hearts are disposed for everlasting life. Wherever Jehovah's witnesses are active and witnessing, you can be assured at least one angel is nearby directing things and observing.

Is that true of every religion with good intentions like your organization? Are angels only around "witnessing" and not other religious groups while they preach? So much competition over who's right in religion, it's hard to know what's the real deal. I just wanted to know if yours is an "elitist" type group that believes only your religion is the true religion with all others damned if they don't. Thx in advance.

a reply to: Stonewaller

Just focus on a personal relationship with Jesus. Ignore organized religious groups/thinking. That's is all that is necessary and it will give you peace. Talk to me anytime, if you wish.

originally posted by: Stonewaller
I'm tired of Seeking. I've been various shades of Christian, neo-Pagan, former tonsured clergy in ROCOR. I've studied. I've done deep dives. Atheism seems too stringent, and most major religions don't really hold up for various reasons. I'm middle aged and still searching that which will give me peace. Tired of the lies, omissions, additions and distortions.

I'm tired.

Close your eyes to all but the inside.

Flow like a river, and you will never need another lilypad to take the next step in your life.

a reply to: Stonewaller

Originally posted by Stonewaller
I'm tired of Seeking. I've been various shades of Christian, neo-Pagan, former tonsured clergy in ROCOR. I've studied. I've done deep dives. Atheism seems too stringent, and most major religions don't really hold up for various reasons. I'm middle aged and still searching that which will give me peace. Tired of the lies, omissions, additions and distortions.

I'm tired.

The thing is you still have to seek…there are no shortcuts to finding any truth…Imagine if you ask a million people what the truth is…you will just end up with a million opinions…essentially a million “subjective truths” (from your perspective) and how would you then know which opinion is the true one…and to make matters worse none of them might be true…

Someone could also be completely sincere in the truth they are speaking but still be wrong etc…how would you know they are telling the truth…The point is only you can come to know what is true…for yourself…

If you are looking for peace, then seeking the “born again” experience is good place to start…John chapter 14 describes the whole experience...

John 14:20
At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you.

The verse above is one of the most true verses in the entire Bible, as it is speaking about universal truth…


- JC

a reply to: Stonewaller

Take a break. You've done your studies, now you can start trying to take it apart and build your own 'right' story out of the fragments, or open your mind to the idea that God doesn't live in a book, or a mix...

But it won't get less difficult or exhausting the further your search goes. But taking breaks is healthy and often helpful.

a reply to: EternalShadow

JW is an elitist religion, you are either one of them, or else.

a reply to: Stonewaller

Search for God, not religion. If you are serious he will reveal himself to you.

originally posted by: EternalShadow

originally posted by: randomuser

The angels are involved in the preaching work that is happening today. And God directs his witnesses the way he will to those whose hearts are disposed for everlasting life. Wherever Jehovah's witnesses are active and witnessing, you can be assured at least one angel is nearby directing things and observing.

Is that true of every religion with good intentions like your organization? Are angels only around "witnessing" and not other religious groups while they preach? So much competition over who's right in religion, it's hard to know what's the real deal. I just wanted to know if yours is an "elitist" type group that believes only your religion is the true religion with all others damned if they don't. Thx in advance.

There is true worship of the one true God, Jehovah. He is a God of peace, not of disorder.

"One body there is, and one spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all."-Ephesians 4:4-6.

There is a reason there are a plethora of religions all teaching confusing things and that is because Satan is the god of the world and he is misleading everyone everywhere by means of religion. There are several scriptures that tell us this:

"Among whom the god of this system of things has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, so that the illumination of the glorious good news about the Christ, who is the image of God, might not shine through."-2 Corinthians 4:4.

"So down the great dragon was hurled, the original serpent, the one called Devil and Satan, who is misleading the entire inhabited earth; he was hurled down to the earth, and his angels were hurled down with him."-Revelation 12:9.

In the book of Revelation the worldwide empire of false religion, that gets its roots in ancient Babylon, is referred to as a spiritual prostitute with which all the kings of the earth commit sexual immorality in chapters 17 and 18. The angel there tells us that she has mislead everyone by means of her spiritistic practices:

"For your merchants were the top-ranking men of the earth, and by your spiritistic practices all the nations were misled."-Revelation 18:23.

Babylon is the root of all false religion. From it stem all the false religious teachings in the religions worldwide, such as a Hellfire, the Trinity, the Immortality of the soul, and such. In fact I authored a thread that had to do with one of these false teachings from Babylon: Immortality.

Jehovah's Witnesses practice the true from of worship as found in the pages of the Bible. They have stripped all of the pagan and false teachings that crept first into the Catholic Church at its founding, and later were kept by the Protestant reformations, they never made a full reform. That is Jehovah's Witnesses adhere solely to the Bible as its authority. And they are fulfilling many Bible prophecies today concerning the preaching and teaching of the good news and of Jehovah's name in all the earth. They fulfill the restoration prophecies, of God's separating his people from the nations, refining them 7 times, guiding them with the holy spirit to reform all of the impurities that crept into the Christian congregation after the last of the apostles had died toward the end of the first and the start of the second century of our Common Era.

It really is very simple to see who practices the truth.

1. They adhere only to the Bible as the ultimate authority. No man-made traditions or dogmas are upheld. There are no doctrines found in the truth.

2. They hold the name of God, Jehovah, in high regard, and make it known publicly.

3. They remain neutral in politics and wars. Jesus said his followers were no part of the world. They are citizens of God's kingdom, and look to it as the real solution to all of humankind's pressing problems.

4. They preach and teach the good news of God's kingdom doing so in all the nations and islands of the earth as a witness for Jehovah God and Jesus Christ.

5. They are united by genuine brotherly love. Jesus said this was the real identifying mark of his real followers: "By this all will know that you are my disciples—if you have love among yourselves."-John 13:35.

Out of the thousands of religions on earth NOT ONE meet any of the prerequisites for claiming to have hold of the truth. But Jehovah's Witnesses meet all the Biblical requirements. It is not humanly possible, nor a coincidence that they fulfill all of the prophecies concerning God's people and the preaching work they would be doing in the last days, being united by love worlwide and fulfilling the prophecy concerning the last days that people would be coming out of all the peoples and tribes and tongues and nations to the mountain of the house of God destroying their implements of war, learning war no more, a people at peace with each other throughout the entire world:

In the final part of the days...
And many peoples will go and say:
“Come, let us go up to the mountain of Jehovah,
To the house of the God of Jacob.
He will instruct us about his ways,
And we will walk in his paths.”
For law will go out of Zion,
And the word of Jehovah out of Jerusalem.
He will render judgment among the nations
And set matters straight respecting many peoples.
They will beat their swords into plowshares
And their spears into pruning shears.
Nation will not lift up sword against nation,
Nor will they learn war anymore.
-Isaiah 2:2, 3-4.

Far from being elitists they are humble down to earth meek people who have love of God and love of neighbor. They realize it is only out of God's loyal love and his undeserved kindness anyone has a hope. But they also realize that everyone exercising faith in the ransom sacrifice of Jesus Christ will not be disappointed. He is the way and the truth and the life. The way to the Father, Jehovah God. All truths of God's word are found in him and fulfilled in him. And by means of exercising faith in Jesus Christ we can attain the life everlasting.

They have put away the works of the flesh and show the fruitage of God's holy spirit at operation in their lives. They love each other and they love humanity. They know that God's way is the best way. And since he has drawn them to him by means of his everlasting love (see my signature) they know God is real and have genuine faith. And they spread that joy and faith and love so that they may imitate their Father in the heavens.

God is real. Prayer is a miracle. My word means nothing. But God's word is as sure as the sun that will rise in the sky tomorrow. The first step to coming to know God is praying to him in earnest to open your heart wide to seeing these wonderful and beautiful truths:

And a woman named Lydʹi·a, a seller of purple from the city of Thy·a·tiʹra and a worshipper of God, was listening, and Jehovah opened her heart wide to pay attention to the things Paul was saying. Now when she and her household got baptized, she urged us: “If you have considered me to be faithful to Jehovah, come and stay at my house.” And she just made us come.-Acts 15:14-15.

a reply to: randomuser

So essentially the answer is yes. Well look, I know a lot of people with good hearts that live a good honest life, that are from one religion or the other. My bottom line question is, do you have to BE or become a Jehovah's Witness to be accepted by God?

a reply to: Stonewaller

You have seen through the problems of organized religion.

Yahweh is the horned god of the Canaanites.
Christ is from Christos which is Horus the son of Isis.
Jahova is Jupiter which is Latin for Zeus.
The letter J did not exist 2000 years ago so no one was named Jesus then.

God made everything. Mankind made god in the image of mankind along with making Lucifer, Saten, the Devil etc... God is God, god isn't God. Mostly mankind follows god and not God. Men even wrote books about god and not about God. Then men said these books were the word of God. Man does not always tell the truth.

I believe in God as the creator. I do not believe in organized religions.

There is no peace if you try to follow any one religion. They all have small parts correct but they all are also wrong in parts. Mainly the parts made to allow the religion leaders to control men.

originally posted by: EternalShadow
a reply to: randomuser

So essentially the answer is yes. Well look, I know a lot of people with good hearts that live a good honest life, that are from one religion or the other. My bottom line question is, do you have to BE or become a Jehovah's Witness to be accepted by God?

Agreed, there are good and honest people in all walks of life from all manner of religions. Remember that prostitute in Revelation 17 and 18 given the name, a mystery Babylon the Great? She represents all religions in opposition to Jehovah God and his expressed purpose for humankind and the earth. And as we have seen the Bible clearly tells us that Satan, the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, he is misleading everyone. So the majority of the people are in spiritual darkness. God can and does open peoples eyes. Remember that angel flying in midheaven with everlasting good news to declare? Well there is a voice from heaven also talking to God's people on earth and it says this:

"And I heard another voice out of heaven say: “Get out of her, my people, if you do not want to share with her in her sins, and if you do not want to receive part of her plagues."-Revelation 18:4.

So the voice is sounding a warning. This time it is calling to God's people to get out of her. Why? If you don't want to receive part of her plagues. So when her time for judgement comes if you are a part of her you will receive the same judgement. When a group of people are together, and one of them doesn't commit a crime but the others do, and the one that is "good" is caught he will be charged with the same crime as all the rest.

The pagan holidays that the religions of Christendom celebrate, the pagan dogmas they uphold, and the false gods they worship along with the rest of humanity, all that worship goes to Satan the Devil and to the demons:

"What the nations sacrifice, they sacrifice to demons and not to God; and I do not want you to become sharers with the demons. You cannot be drinking the cup of Jehovah and the cup of demons; you cannot be partaking of “the table of Jehovah” and the table of demons. Or ‘are we inciting Jehovah to jealousy’? We are not stronger than he is, are we?"-1 Corinthians 10:20-22.

"Do not become unevenly yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what sharing does light have with darkness?"-2 Corinthians 6:14.

“‘Therefore, get out from among them, and separate yourselves,’ says Jehovah, ‘and quit touching the unclean thing’”; “‘and I will take you in.’”  “‘And I will become a father to you, and you will become sons and daughters to me,’ says Jehovah, the Almighty.”- 2 Corinthians 6:17-18.

One must cleanse themselves from the filth of false religion in order for their worship to be acceptable to Jehovah. True he realizes that many have the right heart, but not according to accurate knowledge, and he overlooks that ignorance. But the time for that ignorance has come to its end. It is time for everyone to take a side, either for good and right on Jehovah's side, or with Satan. There is no sitting on the fence as it were.

Jesus said:

"Whoever is not on my side is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters."-Matthew 12:30.

Jesus said this:

"This means everlasting life, their coming to know you, the only true God, and the one whom you sent, Jesus Christ."-John 17:3.

One needs accurate knowledge of truth found in the Bible about Jehovah God and his son Jesus Christ. Who today is dispensing spiritual food that is accurate from the Bible to the people of all the nations? Look were you ever taught that when Jesus arrives to judge humankind everyone calling on Jehovah's name will get away safe? Well how can you know who Jehovah is unless someone tells you? And how can someone tell you unless they have been sent forth from Jehovah God?:

For “everyone who calls on the name of Jehovah will be saved.”  However, how will they call on him if they have not put faith in him? How, in turn, will they put faith in him about whom they have not heard? How, in turn, will they hear without someone to preach? How, in turn, will they preach unless they have been sent out? Just as it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who declare good news of good things!”-Romans 10:13-15.

I'm middle aged and still searching that which will give me peace. Tired of the lies, omissions, additions and distortions.

There is an interesting quote in Christianity. Mark 4:12 ''they may be ever seeing but never perceiving, and ever hearing but never understanding; otherwise they might turn and be forgiven!". Which is paraphrasing Isaiah 6:9–10. What it is really saying is that the greatest guru of all is life itself. Its only when we have experienced all that can be experience, will we be given the keys, to enter the higher realms.