ATA collected sayings

I rediscovered these after cleaning out our old car. When we would take long trips my mind liked to wander and I started writing. These are the results;

Children should be seen, not heard is a bad idea for blind parents.
Timeless beauty eventually fades.
If all the worlds a stage why am I in the audience?
If money grew on trees there wouldn't be any forests left and the price of saws would be astronomical.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him do a swan dive.
Behind every successful man is a good woman; his mother.
Failure is not an option, it's an outcome.
A bird in the hand makes for a messy hand.
You can fool some of the people some of the time but you can always fool yourself.
Absence makes the heart grow forgetful.
If at first you don't succeed re-evaluate
The wheel of justice grinds slowly and usually on the wrong people.
Walk softly and carry a cell phone to call for help.
People who live in glass houses use a lot of Windex.
Blood is thicker than most brands of syrup.
If you're up the river without a paddle use the outboard motor.
All's fair in love, war and corporate ethics.
The future is killing me now.
Government is professional at incompetence
A bird in the hand could be dinner.
When life gives you lemons make whiskey sours.
The way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.
An apple a day keeps some farmers in business.
Early to bed early to rise avoids infomercials.
A friend in need may not be a friend much longer.
A stitch in time is inconceivable.
The more you think you know the more people appreciate your silence.
A penny saved makes a heavier pocket.
A rose by any other name will still be a monocot.
Never put off til tomorrow something you can get someone else to do today.
Love is probably blind because it had its eyeballs plucked out.
Thinking with your heart makes a bloody mess.
Cleanliness is next to impossible.
Teach a man to fish and he's headed for divorce.
Cast not pearls before swine - it won't match their wardrobe.
Think globally but save your acting for the theater.
He who is without sin probably can't throw a stone anyway.
A shot in the dark will always hit something.

Several of those, made me laugh out loud. (And agree with!)

Thank you for sharing.
I like the way you think!

a reply to: Asktheanimals

The future is killing me now.

a reply to: chiefsmom
Thanks chiefsmom, there may be some truthful irony in a few of those.

a reply to: Asktheanimals

a reply to: Asktheanimals

Think globally but save your acting for the theater.

Right on....

www.actorsequity.org...

Union proud, Union Strong..

a reply to: Asktheanimals

Dito to what chiefs mom said.
I can see some as the title of a short story.

a reply to: Asktheanimals

My dad's favorite saying as a drill sergeant

I trust two people... Me and Not YOU!

My sister told me a good one today:

Of course I sound like an idiot. I want you to understand me.

JAG, Victor those are excellent contributions. Please feel free to add your own as we plumb the depths of ATS member minds.

Children should be seen, not heard is a bad idea for blind parents.

Wish I had this one as a kid.

a reply to: Asktheanimals

If everything is one, I'd miss the zero.

If seer and seen are the same there is nothing to see, move along.

If karma is a bitch, call me PIMP

If you cannot laugh about it, then you really are in trouble.

Props to Neil Oliver for these (courtesy of goretex):

The large print giveth and the fine print taketh away.
Today's conspiracy theory is tomorrows fact.

a reply to: Asktheanimals

when things are failing and not going according to the plan,


"Won't result in either a baby or a s(snip)."