Twenty something year olds I have a question

This is a sincere attempt to understand the minds of our young adults.
I've had several encounters now where I've been at a store to purchase goods and I've had more than a few twenty something year olds give me a hard time and even become combative with me over menial things. I'm more than twice that age and have tons of experience myself. I see how these young adults are trying to get around doing there jobs. Even up to and including doing things that aren't necessarily lawful, or justifiable. Things like telling me you can't accept $2 in pennies to pay for something. In this instance their credit card machine is down, they tell me I have to pay in cash, I have no cash, and so I have to count out 200 pennies to make my small purchase and was told "I don't have enough room in my drawer for all those pennies. I explained (in slight frustration) "this is legal tender and I'm sorry but you cannot deny taking said legal tender." This infuriated this young girl (it's been young women I get the most friction from for some reason) and she snapped back, "I didn't say I wasn't going to take your money." She is furious and staring at me like she's about to jump the counter and attack, and I'm not exaggerating...she had a look of murder in her eyes. I look at her for a moment and then said, "okay then, I apologize, how do we remedy the situation." She's even more mad at this and I feel that she really is about to fight me, and she says very angrily, "I don't know." I can see she's extremely upset and I say, "okay, it's not a problem we'll figure it out (she's staring hatefully into my eyes) and I continued, "I've dropped my attitude, can we move forward, everything will be okay." This only infuriated her more. (And she had grabbed her phone and was angrily typing something on her phone the whole time)
I pay for my goods and the whole time I can feel the heat pouring out of her. I leave politely.

My question is this: why is it that any time someone challenges you that it's taken as such a disrespect that you need to get into fight mode so quickly. I see stories all over the news where customers and employees are getting into knock down drag out fights, or worse someone pulls out a gun and stars shooting. All over simple insignificant things like milkshakes or penny's or pickles on a burger their not supposed to be on.

I've gotten to where these young adults make me very nervous that if I don't coddle a young person that I take on the risk of being verbally attacked or worse physically attacked (which would be very unwise of them being highly trained in all types of combat myself). But why should it even come to that? Do these young adults not realize that they can be wrong, or in the wrong, and instead of just swallowing that pride they escalate the situation and their own emotions to a point that feels very close to dangerous.

Help me understand why it's like this. Do young adults really have zero respect for an elder of theirs? And why so many violent/hateful vibes for such small things? An elder is going to be more experience and often times much much wiser than them.


I use to hate the idea of robots to do these types of jobs, but these young adults arent handling simple frustrations well at all (understatement). At this point I would welcome a cold calculated, emotionless robot than be made to feel like I have to worry about my well being just trying to do small business with that mentality.

I'd really like to understand this from a mind of a young adult.

This attitude I feel started about 17 years ago when the mobile phone first began to appear in high schooler's hands.
It's been downhill since. And I'm speaking for someone here overseas too. It's a lost generation of thoughless and anger of "instant" get lost attitudes I've noticed.

originally posted by: musicismagic
This attitude I feel started about 17 years ago when the mobile phone first began to appear in high schooler's hands.
It's been downhill since. And I'm speaking for someone here overseas too. It's a lost generation of thoughless and anger of "instant" get lost attitudes I've noticed.

Agreed. This went way beyond a get lost attitude. I honestly felt that if I did not diffuse the situation that I might have to physically defend myself against a young women. This really ought not to be..

I have a 19 year old. Close enough. She is a conservative and raised different than most of Gen Z. Does not act like that.
Maybe it is where you live. Maybe it is the environment they have been raised in.
I am in TEXAS. 20 something year olds dont act like that here where I live. Yes ma'ams and Yes sirs still happen. For the most part, they are all respectful - no matter race, class, location, etc.
Leaving communist Colorado was quite different. Lots of weirdo little #s.

I also have seen grown adults - older than me (Im a GenXer) treat the young kids like crap too, just because they have preconceived ideas.

There are far too many variables to give a reasonable response. Maybe she was having a bad day. We all have them.

originally posted by: shaemac
I have a 19 year old. Close enough. She is a conservative and raised different than most of Gen Z. Does not act like that.
Maybe it is where you live. Maybe it is the environment they have been raised in.
I am in TEXAS. 20 something year olds dont act like that here where I live. Yes ma'ams and Yes sirs still happen. For the most part, they are all respectful - no matter race, class, location, etc.
Leaving communist Colorado was quite different. Lots of weirdo little #s.

I also have seen grown adults - older than me (Im a GenXer) treat the young kids like crap too, just because they have preconceived ideas.

There are far too many variables to give a reasonable response. Maybe she was having a bad day. We all have them.

I live in the "Bible belt" and in a very small town. Some are polite like you mentioned but less than you'd think being the bible belt. Most of them raised in church so I would think they would be more respectful and willing to do the hard things in life.
I agree with the having a bad day. That's what went thru my mind and why I was so willing to be so gentle with her. Because I get that. It was my way of doing unto others. If this is the reason then these young adults are having a LOT of bad days. Which still begs the question of, why can't they deal with any challenges or stress without going full tilt combative.
I feel for them, I really do. But da-yum! They're going to have to deal with people and uncomfortable situations. It's life.
I for one treat them with an absolute respect. It's my way of leading by example; hoping they have learned how to deal with things...with grace.

Sadly, wider culture is becoming more narcissistic.

To put it mildly, we're living in times where parents are terrified of their own kids!

My first born became teenager in the early 80's and some of her friends seemed like nice kids-until I saw them interact with their parents. They would scream obscenities at them when they didn't get what they wanted, and the parents would remain calm while trying to treat this tantrum-throwing monster like a fragile, rational adult.

I have seen so many examples where children are allowed to grow up being disrespectful to others. It's like setting and enforcing boundaries is too much trouble for parents, and it seems to start at the pre-school level in many so cases.

I get where parents wanted to break away from 'spare the rod, spoil the child', but you don't have to hit a kid to teach them right from wrong. What you do have to do is be engaged with them on a deeper level than watching TV together. Nobody seems to have the time or energy to do that anymore.

Kids without clear boundaries and an understanding of exactly what's expected of them don't make for happy kids, and there's no safety net for them.

originally posted by: halfoldman
To put it mildly, we're living in times where parents are terrified of their own kids!

I see a LOT of this as well. It's even displayed in teen shows like "Henry Danger." I happened to catch this show a few times late at night with nothing good on, and the youngest character, who is female, and she is extremely aggressive and always screaming and ALL the adult and other kids are scared of her.
Is it actually being taught (or by influence) to them? (Me trying to wrap my mind around it all)

a reply to: AOx6179

You have to ask?

No Discipline in schools, no discipline in the home, their media and television programing tells them to act like they are guests on the Jerry Springer show because that is now normal.


There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.

What can we look for to show us of Your coming and of the end of the world?”

4 Jesus said to them, “Be careful that no one leads you the wrong way. 5 Many people will come using My name. They will say, ‘I am Christ.’ They will fool many people and will turn them to the wrong way. 6 You will hear of wars and lots of talk about wars, but do not be afraid. These things must happen, but it is not the end yet. 7 Nations will have wars with other nations. Countries will fight against countries. There will be no food for people. The earth will shake and break apart in different places. 8 These things are the beginning of sorrows and pains.

9 “Then they will hand you over to be hurt. They will kill you. You will be hated by all the world because of My name. 10 Many people will give up and turn away at this time. People will hand over each other. They will hate each other. 11 Many false religious teachers will come. They will fool many people and will turn them to the wrong way. 12 Because of people breaking the laws and sin being everywhere, the love in the hearts of many people will become cold. 13 But the one who stays true to the end will be saved.

originally posted by: infolurker
a reply to: AOx6179

You have to ask?

No Discipline in schools, no discipline in the home, their media and television programing tells them to act like they are guests on the Jerry Springer show because that is now normal.

So very sad...
Admittedly, I am having a hard time swallowing that pill. I keep thinking, if it's this bad now, how much worse will this get.
For this chit chat, if I boil it down, it's disturbing to me that we as customers have to walk on eggshells so as not to upset the delicate senses of the merchant. How far we have fallen...

a reply to: AOx6179

You haven't seen anything yet. We can only hope that the theory of a pre-tribulation rapture is correct.

a reply to: AOx6179

The reason, according to some beliefs, is that these grown children (as evidenced by your description) lack souls (as evidenced by their behavior) When you look into their eyes, you see nothing. It feels as if you are looking at an animal. Or something else. Anything but human. Given the growing chasm between the generations, one can only consider that this will not end well. What these grown children don't understand is that literally everyone on the planet has their own trials and tribulations. They have been coddled and brainwashed and actually believe they are entitled. They do not value money. Or much of anything else really that is not associated with "the hive" (read: Facebook, Twitter, etc...) By now this is a foregone conclusion proven by simply taking their phone away from them. Do that and all hell breaks loose. Regrettably, the damage has been done already. I don't see how so many can be helped so quickly and as a result, society and civility as we knew it, are gasping their last remaining breaths.

originally posted by: infolurker
a reply to: AOx6179

You haven't seen anything yet. We can only hope that the theory of a pre-tribulation rapture is correct.

That is precisely my thought. I can see a path being laid out for the arrival of that and how easily and quickly and whole heartedly they will be fooled. I'm gen x myself, my son is 20, these are our "babies." If I seem more frantic about this topic, I am; and that's why. I work with this age group (counseling) and I've never gotten a straight answer to the question. Such a similar mentality from all walks of life in that age group, and the data will show that it's especially rampant in our young females. I see a full blown mental health crisis, and there's no answer in how to even approach it. Like it was pointed out, too many variables that it's hard to make any progress. All I can do is encourage growth and acceptance, and that's what I do. It's not even making a dent.

a reply to: AOx6179

Because they are insecure.

Because of dumbing down of schools, they truly don't know anything and write and count MAYBE at a 3rd grade level coming out of high school.
They know it and resent it, in constant fear of their "image" being perceived as idiots

The "college" kids with basket weaving degrees are the worst.
Those working in retail can never count change in their heads and need to use a calculator....smdh...

originally posted by: M5xaz
a reply to: AOx6179

Because they are insecure.

Because of dumbing down of schools, they truly don't know anything and write and count MAYBE at a 3rd grade level coming out of high school.
They know it and resent it, in constant fear of their "image" being perceived as idiots

The "college" kids with basket weaving degrees are the worst.
Those working in retail can never count change in their heads and need to use a calculator....smdh...

One of the most repetitive things I get from them is, "I don't have any life skills." "I wish I had learned more life skills." Different variations of the same complaint. I see that they do feel "helpless" and afraid they can't take care of themselves. Afraid to step out into the world and take it on on their own.


Added: your post has me thinking now. The young lady who I was talking about in the OP (original post, right?) I wonder if she couldn't count the change or was intimidated by having to do it....
A part I left out in the OP. I had the 200 pennies laid out and in stacks of ten. She looked (very upset) at it, and said, "I'll just pay for it." And she did. I thanked her twice for her generosity, but even that still seemed to further upset her.
I think you just gave me an epiphany. A new angle I'm going to approach with them. Thanks a bunch. I hadn't considered the education part. Was too busy looking at the social media angle.

a reply to: M5xaz

Well,

To sum it up a the highest level:

They Are Godless

Romans 1 sums it up pretty well"

The Good News tells us we are made right with God by faith in Him. Then, by faith we live that new life through Him. The Holy Writings say, “A man right with God lives by faith.”

18 We see the anger of God coming down from heaven against all the sins of men. These sinful men keep the truth from being known. 19 Men know about God. He has made it plain to them. 20 Men cannot say they do not know about God. From the beginning of the world, men could see what God is like through the things He has made. This shows His power that lasts forever. It shows that He is God. 21 They did know God, but they did not honor Him as God. They were not thankful to Him and thought only of foolish things. Their foolish minds became dark. 22 They said that they were wise, but they showed how foolish they were. 23 They gave honor to false gods that looked like people who can die and to birds and animals and snakes. This honor belongs to God Who can never die.

24 So God let them follow the desires of their sinful hearts. They did sinful things among themselves with their bodies. 25 They traded the truth of God for a lie. They worshiped and cared for what God made instead of worshiping the God Who made it. He is the One Who is to receive honor and thanks forever. Let it be so.

26 Because of this, God let them follow their sinful desires which lead to shame. Women used their bodies in ways God had not planned. 27 In the same way, men left the right use of women’s bodies. They did sex sins with other men. They received for themselves the punishment that was coming to them for their sin.

28 Because they would not keep God in their thoughts anymore, He gave them up. Their minds were sinful and they wanted only to do things they should not do.

29 They are full of everything that is sinful and want things that belong to others. They hate people and are jealous. They kill other people. They fight and lie. They do not like other people and talk against them. 30 They talk about people, and they hate God. They are filled with pride and tell of all the good they do. They think of new ways to sin. They do not obey their parents.

31 They are not able to understand. They do not do what they say they will do. They have no love and no loving-pity. 32 They know God has said that all who do such things should die. But they keep on doing these things and are happy when others do them also.

originally posted by: AOx6179

originally posted by: M5xaz
a reply to: AOx6179

Because they are insecure.

Because of dumbing down of schools, they truly don't know anything and write and count MAYBE at a 3rd grade level coming out of high school.
They know it and resent it, in constant fear of their "image" being perceived as idiots

The "college" kids with basket weaving degrees are the worst.
Those working in retail can never count change in their heads and need to use a calculator....smdh...

One of the most repetitive things I get from them is, "I don't have any life skills." "I wish I had learned more life skills." Different variations of the same complaint. I see that they do feel "helpless" and afraid they can't take care of themselves. Afraid to step out into the world and take it on on their own.


Added: your post has me thinking now. The young lady who I was talking about in the OP (original post, right?) I wonder if she couldn't count the change or was intimidated by having to do it....
A part I left out in the OP. I had the 200 pennies laid out and in stacks of ten. She looked (very upset) at it, and said, "I'll just pay for it." And she did. I thanked her twice for her generosity, but even that still seemed to further upset her.
I think you just gave me an epiphany. A new angle I'm going to approach with them. Thanks a bunch. I hadn't considered the education part. Was too busy looking at the social media angle.

The vast majority don't know their multiplication tables. I imposed it on mine despite the school and "But Dad..."

Home economics, construction and shop were all optional but mine took that too, as well as STEM prerequisites, which later turned out useful years later when I did renovations with my son, and another one worked for a concrete foundation firm in the summer.

They were raised to aim high but also that there are no jobs "beneath them".

Conversely, one grandkid who just turned seven in grade one came home with a school form asking for permission to discuss genitalia including how to lubricate a woman !!!

Hazard a guess as if that idiocy is going to get signed for a 7 year old.....


Quite aside from the moral issues, these propaganda "lessons" take time away from essential arithmetic, reading and writing, the core of grade school, and if kids don't get a strong foundation in essentials grade school, they are screwed for high school, and then in turn for REAL STEM college/University or even Trades.


Thereby that kid that told you they "don't have life skills"
Mostly because of the school system and wasting of precious school time on SJW garbage
Set up to fail
Very sad.

More than ever important for parents to be "difficult" with the school system...

a reply to: M5xaz

Thanks again. That has been very helpful. I get tunnel vision sometimes. That's why I brought it to ATS. I knew y'all would hash that out and give several angles.

You were bringing around 200 pennies. Looks like you were looking for people to troll.