Things that got lost along the way

I've been an observer my whole life. As I grew up I was always watching and learning from the things I observed. I was a quiet kid, but always watching, always noting things I see. I grew up in a world where my thoughts and feelings counted for nothing. I was dismissed and silenced. So I observed. I was told I was dumb and would never amount to anything. And for a long time I believed that. When I was 12 I took an IQ test and we learned that, in fact, I had a pretty high IQ. Borderline genius, was the way it was first described to me back then. But yet, this tangible proof that i was in fact very smart, and not dumb at all, did not stop the mental beating I took in the form of words like "you're worthless." Even after finding out the truth, the truth was dismissed and swept under the rug, not to ever be validated. I was raised by mind games. From someone who was very sad, and very dark in spirit (is what I've come to learn). One thing that did come from my upbringing is the fact that I know manipulation when I see it. It's really hard to get anything past me. I can be fooled tho. Instead of me following down the path of dealing with things in the manner in which I was taught, I went the opposite way and became very in tune with my own feelings (very high EQ as well) and since I'm such an observer I am just as much in tune with other people's feelings. I've always said I can feel people's energies (or vibrations) and thus has made me an extremely empathetic person. I feel compassion deeply. Especially when I see it in others. This is where things like mercy and forgiveness come into play. I know what it feels like to truly hurt, and so I am apt to feel other people's pain.
The person who raised me lacked these things: love, mercy, forgiveness, compassion, empathy and even sympathy for others. So, being raised by this, I now know how to spot where these things are lacking.
On our journey of progress to have more cool stuff, we were introduced things like social media. This form of communication has taken away things like compassion for one another. And no I'm not talking about someone writing some sappy words so others can see how wonderful they are. I'm talking about the people that aren't "on your friends list," or you're not "following, or being followed" by. I mean we have gotten so use to attacking anything that's unfamiliar or different from us that we treat random people without any compassion or understanding; let alone forgiveness and mercy. Heck, I mention the word love and get laughed out of conservations. Let alone try and teach what it means to actually show love for another fellow human being. Nowadays if they don't stand on the same opinion as ours, say on something like abortion, then they are our enemies and to be dismissed as nothing worth our time. Now, I do still see compassion, mercy, empathy, sympathy, love out there in the world. But it is so small in comparison to the opposite things I see. These tiny little acts of love for each other get drowned out by all the unhelpful things like hate, fear, coveting, judging, disliking others just because they don't think like you. So, in our pursuit of our little fame and self glorifying (ie social media) we have lost compassion and understanding for the souls/people that are on the other side of the words. We got so use to attacking one another on the internet that we have chiseled away our ability to act in honorable ways towards one another. We're seeing more issues, more things to divide us and make us feel like we are enemies, and slowly, more and more we are losing the things that will actually help us get through this madness. We've gotten so used to exercising our right to speak , and making sure we hit back anything that challenges us, that we are in that defense mode in all aspects of socializing and even just existing with each other.

So, if you want to change the world, just be nice. Love is a powerful thing... Don't let these things slip away anymore than they have. The paradigm shift should be a shift back towards these things.
We are stronger together, and just might have to take care of each other very soon.
Love, mercy, kindness, gentleness, compassion, empathy/sympathy. If we applied these things more the world would be much more tolerable and dare I say.... pleasant.
Thanks for reading.

a reply to: AOx6179
I can relate to much of this.

For years I tried to meditate and couldn't. In the last few years, I found out I have aphantasia, among other disabilities, so it made sense why traditional guided meditation was so far out of reach that I thought people must be "seeing" in a metaphoric manner.

Last week it struck me that a simple meditation of thinking "love in" with each breath in and "love out" with each breath out suffices.

Immediately it felt more balanced between within/without. Love needs to be a two way exchange like the breath, as giving of oneself is draining without replenishment and not sustainable.

Love is very powerful.

originally posted by: igloo
a reply to: AOx6179
I can relate to much of this.

For years I tried to meditate and couldn't. In the last few years, I found out I have aphantasia, among other disabilities, so it made sense why traditional guided meditation was so far out of reach that I thought people must be "seeing" in a metaphoric manner.

Last week it struck me that a simple meditation of thinking "love in" with each breath in and "love out" with each breath out suffices.

Immediately it felt more balanced between within/without. Love needs to be a two way exchange like the breath, as giving of oneself is draining without replenishment and not sustainable.

Love is very powerful.

Very cool addition. Thanks for sharing.
Forgiveness is another huge one. Very powerful. I had searched and searched, in so many things, for inner peace. For a long time I chose to fight with and combat with anger towards things that hurt me growing up. When I wasn't angry I was numb from my unhealthy distractions. Which was only a very temporary fix. But I came to forgiveness. Letting it all go, even though I never received an apology for any of it ...I let it go and forgave. And I found peace. A peace that as long as I stick to forgiving and not feed into the anger I maintain that peace. And it really is a wonderful feeling------to have inner peace. Something I thought I'd never have. And yet, I am at peace. From forgiveness, or actually mercy in this case since there was no remorse or apology. Once I found this out an epic spiritual journey ensued.

From Kahlil Gibran in 'The Profit'
"The height of your joy cannot exceed the depth of your sorrow."

As a 'people watcher' I've found this to hold true. Not the giddy, giggly 'life of the party' happy, but the kind of peace, kindness, joy for just being alive that makes some people seem to glow.

These are the people who have a story to tell. They have survived the darkness and risen above it all.

Thanks for sharing your story.

originally posted by: nugget1
From Kahlil Gibran in 'The Profit'
"The height of your joy cannot exceed the depth of your sorrow."

As a 'people watcher' I've found this to hold true. Not the giddy, giggly 'life of the party' happy, but the kind of peace, kindness, joy for just being alive that makes some people seem to glow.

These are the people who have a story to tell. They have survived the darkness and risen above it all.

Thanks for sharing your story.

And for yours

a reply to: AOx6179

Thank you for the reminders.

This part reminded me about when I have felt angry at the world...

These tiny little acts of love for each other get drowned out by all the unhelpful things like hate, fear, coveting, judging, disliking others just because they don't think like you.

Often when I was younger, end even still sometimes, a part of me felt or feels possessive. Like perhaps I should hold back being loving, that someone is not like me. I don't like them, they are wrong, they are out to "get" me, they do not care, they are strangers; so maybe they will take me wrong. It is easier for things to fall apart when entropy seems to bring everything to it's end.

Does love run out?It is it available in limited quantities? Is love a description? No it is an action, that's why it takes effort, that is why it unites. We are often reminded that it is in the giving that we receive, but what do we get when we tear ourselves apart?Nothing that lasts, imo.

These things, compassion, sympathy, empathy, forgiveness and love, these are good or the opposite of evil. Not all people and things are good, some are actually evil. Don't forget that and let your guard down.

I say be aware (observe) and give back in kind where necessary. To be Biblical, depending on the situation, take an eye for an eye or give the shirt off your back. This requires making a judgement though, but as these things are diametrical opposites, that judgement should be obvious.

a reply to: AOx6179
I agree totally, and miss the 'grace' that people used to have - whatever happened to holding the door open for the next person or saying 'Thank You' to the cashier bagging your groceries or stopping your car to allow elderly pedestrians cross the road safely?
I make sure to put a Smile on my face before I leave the house in the morning (my Mum told me to do that when I was a child, and I still do it), and it helps brighten my day. It's upsetting to go anywhere and see nothing but frowns and no happy faces, keep your smile on and others will smile back.
Perhaps it is the current world condition that is making us all nervous and on edge, but I always feel lucky to be alive and have another day. It's better for the blood pressure too!

a reply to: RonnieJersey

Trust has taken a huge hit. It's been very traumatic what we have all gone through for the longest time. I do not know what is going to happen in the bigger scheme of things, but want to practice being more loving to go out in a better way.