The Chaos Letters

Below is an exchange between two Chaos Gods;

My dear Nurgle,

I hope this letter finds you well, my fellow chaos god. I know that we have had our differences in the past, but I believe it is time for us to put aside our differences and work together.

I have been watching your recent efforts to spread disease and decay throughout the universe, and I must say, I am impressed. The fear and suffering you have been able to spread is truly remarkable. But, as you know, my own powers lie in manipulation and change. Together, we could accomplish so much more.

I propose that we combine our abilities and work towards a common goal. Think of the destruction and chaos we could wreak if we were united. The universe would tremble before us.

I understand that you may be hesitant to trust me, given our past conflicts. But I assure you, I have no desire for power or control over you. I simply wish to see our combined might bring the universe to its knees.

I look forward to your response and hope that we can come to an agreement.

Yours in Chaos,
Tzeentch

a reply to: Lysergic

My dear Tzeentch,

I received your letter with a mix of amusement and skepticism. I know all too well the extent of your abilities and your true nature, manipulation. You believe that by uniting our powers, we can accomplish much more, but I know that all you truly desire is to manipulate and control me.

You may have fooled others with your silver tongue and promises of cooperation, but I am not so easily swayed. I know that you will only use me to further your own goals, and I will not stand idly by while you try to use me as your pawn.

I have no desire to work with you, Tzeentch. I am content to spread my plagues and disease, to watch as the universe writhes in agony under my touch. I have no need for your so-called "help" in my endeavors.

I hope you understand, Tzeentch, that I will not be manipulated or controlled by anyone, not even a god such as yourself.

Yours in Decay,
Nurgle

a reply to: Lysergic

My dear Nurgle,

I understand your skepticism and your reluctance to trust me. I know that we have had our differences in the past, and I cannot blame you for being cautious. But let me assure you, my dear Nurgle, that my intentions are pure.

I understand that you are content with spreading your plagues and disease, and I respect that. But together, we could achieve so much more. Together, we could bring the universe to its knees and reign supreme over all.

I know that you fear being used as a pawn, but let me assure you that is not my intention. Together, we could rule side by side, each with our own domain to control.

I understand that you may need time to consider my proposal, and I respect that. But I urge you to think about the possibilities of what we could accomplish together.

I look forward to hearing your response.

Yours in Chaos,
Tzeentch

a reply to: Lysergic

My dear Tzeentch,

I have given your proposal much thought, and I regret to inform you that my answer remains the same. I will not be joining forces with you or any other. My power and my purpose are my own, and I will not be swayed by promises of greater glory or manipulation.

You may call it pure intentions, but I see through your facade, Tzeentch. I know that all you truly desire is control and domination, and I will not be a part of that. I will continue to spread my plagues and decay, and I will do so without your "help" or your "cooperation."

I suggest you focus on your own affairs, Tzeentch, and leave me to mine.

Yours in Decay,
Nurgle

a reply to: Lysergic



Dear journal,

I can't believe it. After pouring my heart and soul into that letter to Nurgle, offering him the chance to join forces with me and achieve true greatness, he rejected me. He rejected us. And for what? "Differences in goals and methods"? How could he not see that together we could have been unstoppable?

I feel like a part of me has died. All the dreams and plans I had, the visions of grandeur we could have achieved together, they're gone now. I thought Nurgle was different, that he understood me. But I was wrong.

I feel so alone. Like everyone in the universe is against me. All I ever wanted was to be acknowledged, to be respected, to be feared. But now it feels like I'm nothing, a mere footnote in the grand scheme of things.

I'll keep moving forward, I have no other choice. But it won't be the same without Nurgle by my side.

Tzeentch, The Betrayed.

My Dearest Zerknagle.

Here is a correspondence I have intercepted between that blowhard Tzeentch and the worthless Jr. God who goes by the name of Nurgle though I suspect it is really Zimblatch in disguise. Tzeentch should watch his back as his belief he is dealing with a Casper Milquetoast in Nurgle may find a scepter of decay protruding from between his shoulder blades if indeed Nurgle is really Zimblatch just waiting his chance.

Once those two have weakened themselves, you and I my good Zerknagle will have our chance to bury them both.

Yours in treachery

Zippidy Dooda.

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

My Dearest Zippidy Dooda,

I have received your letter, and I must say, I find the contents quite amusing. You seem to think that Nurgle is some sort of weakling, and that Zimblatch is somehow involved. Let me assure you, my dear friend, that Nurgle is a formidable opponent, and I would be a fool to underestimate him. As for Zimblatch, I have not seen or heard from him in eons. But rest assured that the idea of him being disguised as Nurgle is a mere mortal's imagination.

But let us not forget, my dear Zerknagle, that we are not mere mortals. We are Chaos Gods, with powers beyond your wildest imagination. You see, treachery is in our very nature. It's what makes us strong, it's what makes us immortal. And you, my dear Zerknagle, are no different. You should embrace your treachery, revel in it, for it is what sets us apart from the weak and the feeble.

But be warned, my dear Zerknagle, that even the smallest mistake in the grand game of treachery can lead to your downfall. And I assure you, my dear Zerknagle, that I will not hesitate to bury you along with Nurgle and Zimblatch if you dare to cross me.

Yours in treachery,

Tzeentch

a reply to: Lysergic

Tzeentch

Oh mighty one, it appears that you, as well as I, control the capacity for communication interception bestowed upon us by our Ancient For-bearers though had They the slightest inkling of the mundane manner with which you would utilize it might have given Them second thoughts concerning procreation.

This thought made known to you Tzeentch can be taken lightly under the understandable assumption that indeed I am indeed Zippidy Dooda, one who would cringe beneath your blistering threats. However. I knew you too have this ability to ascertain secret knowledge from transmission and have poisoned the information stream with falsehoods among which is my true identity.

So before you so lightly cast threats and warning in my direction, consider your unrealized weaknesses and be prepared for treachery as you have never imagined it.

PS. As you you took the liberty of calling me ''my dearest'' you would do well to know that I did not invite such familiarity and have hence made an account of your breach of protocol with the Archivist Anklebuster, who in their unfathomable wisdom have taken this account under consideration.

Treacherously

?

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

My dear mortal,

You presume to understand the grand designs and schemes of a Chaos God such as myself. Let it be known that I am the Architect of Fate, the Master of Change. My ways are not for mere mortals to comprehend or question. You, like so many others, believe that the universe is a static and unchanging place, that fate is predetermined and that the will of the gods is something that can be understood and predicted. But you are wrong.

The universe is in a constant state of flux, ever-changing and adapting to the will of the Chaos Gods. And I, Tzeentch, am the embodiment of change itself. I am the Lord of Sorcery, the Weaver of Destiny. I control the flow of knowledge and truth as I see fit, for the greater glory of Chaos.

Your accusations of poisoning the information stream with falsehoods are baseless and unfounded. I am the Great Conspirator, the Master of Deception, but my lies and deceptions are not meant to deceive, but to reveal the truth that lies hidden behind the veil of reality. My ways are not for mortals to comprehend, for the truth of the universe is not something that can be understood by the limited minds of mortals. It is something that can only be experienced, and even then, only for a fleeting moment.

As for your true identity, it matters not. To me, all mortals are but pawns in the grand game of existence, to be moved and manipulated as I see fit. You are but a small piece in the grand tapestry of my designs. Your actions, your thoughts, your very being, are all part of my grand plan, and you are nothing more than a tool to be used in the pursuit of my ultimate goal.

Your pitiful attempts to threaten me with talk of treachery and breaches of protocol are amusing at best. I am the Changer of Ways, the Great Conspirator. Treachery is my right hand and deception is my left. I am not threatened by the actions of mortals, for I am eternal and all-powerful. I am Tzeentch, the Architect of Fate, and my will is unbreakable.

Be grateful that I have taken notice of you, mortal. For to be acknowledged by Tzeentch is to be granted a fleeting glimpse into the infinite possibilities of the future. You have been chosen to play a role in my grand designs, and you should be honored to be a part of something so much greater than yourself. But be warned, for my favor is fickle and my wrath is eternal. Those who dare to oppose me or question my designs will suffer the full extent of my power.

I bid you farewell, mortal. May your path be forever altered by the touch of Tzeentch. May your mind be opened to the truth of the universe and may you serve the will of Chaos for all eternity. Remember, that to oppose me is to oppose the very fabric of reality itself.

Yours in chaos,
Tzeentch, the Architect of Fate.

a reply to: Lysergic

It appears as if no one else has unearthed our recent correspondence nor have Nurgle or Zerknagle opted to involve themselves in this ongoing exchange and so I shall speak bluntly.

I am so long in replying to your last missive of mayhem as I have been in consultation with The Executive Congress of Elemental Essences whose, as you are sure to know, authority resides within that august body from the moment of Inception of this universe.

While pizza-pub crawling with the Senior Members of the Congress, (oh, were you not invited ?) it was made known to me that upon latest count there are in fact 126,685 bogus claimants to the title ''Architect of Fate'' and hence your claim has fallen under the purview of ''The Subcommittee on Verification of Titles'' and will be investigated post-haste.

As a Marshal of that Court, I have been instructed to inform you of the investigation and upon doing so, cease all communications with you until such time as their Swift Justice has acted upon you and at that time I will be granted one brief moment to blow a God Sized Raspberry at you as you fade from this reality into the nothingness from which you sprang.

Ha! The Executive Congress of Elemental Essences, you say? The Subcommittee on Verification of Titles? Oh, how quaint. I am Tzeentch, the Changer of Ways, the Architect of Fate.

I am beyond the petty concerns of your Congress and their investigations. I am the master of reality itself, and I will not be bound by their puny laws.

They can investigate all they like, but they will never be able to prove or disprove my claim. I am the eternal schemer, and I will always find a way to come out on top. But as for your supposed moment to blow a god-sized raspberry at me, I welcome it. For in that moment, you will have unknowingly played into my hands and I will have won yet again

a reply to: TerryMcGuire

As I am now forbidden by ''The Subcommittee on Verification of Titles'' to speak to Mr. Tzeentch The Terrible,( for that is his real name given him by his poker buddies at an all night game after presenting them with an UNGodly fragrance derived from eating to much artichoke dip earlier that evening, I will post these final words of assurance should any mortals chance upon these hidden chronicles.

Mr. Tzeentch is a fraud and any who would fear his wrath need not. I can assure any future reader of these words that I have no fear of him and that no such claims as he has made need to be consid........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzPOP