Christmas from Hell

I need to rant.

Last year my mom didn't get to have thanks to cancer and COVID, and it's her favorite holiday. This year, we *were* having Christmas. No one was upset with this idea.

So Tuesday night, dad calls me. Mom is in the hospital. Heading into the office for a routine check, she slipped, fell, and smacked her face. Her lip is split, nose is broken, and they *think* she may have a small bleed on her brain. So she's been admitted and transferred to a hospital with a better neurologist/neurosurgeon. Depending on what they say, she may not be home by Thursday when we're planning to be out.

Wednesday night comes ... neuro is satisfied nothing is wrong, physical therapist is satisfied, one of two docs is satisfied, but last doc is not. We are now into Thursday and looking at hematology. It's potassium levels which were thrown out of wack early in her chemo and probably haven't recovered, but they want to be sure.

It's now Thursday night ... We are all here. Mom isn't. They will let her go tomorrow after a marrow biopsy, so far no one has said cancer, but, of course, it's what we're all thinking.

And let's put the cherry on it - dad hit a deer coming back. Their car is almost certainly totaled as the radiator is pushed clear back up against the engine block.

Hubs now has dad out and they are looking for a liquor store - something I never thought I would hear dad request. Meanwhile, we have been told to open presents, but we're waiting for mom while we will open some presents (a couple small ones) tonight.

I feel like I have stepped into the Christmas Vacation movie and wonder how many other disasters we're going to have to force this Christmas around.

Btw, sister and I are taking dad back to get mom from hospital tomorrow ... wish us luck. The way things are going, we'll need it.

a reply to: ketsuko

Very sorry to hear this, it's not good when you can't get the whole family together for whatever reason, and even more so when it's health-related.

Prayers for you and your family and for a happier New Year

a reply to: ketsuko

I am so sorry things are such a mess right now; I will be sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

You have 'unlimited vent tickets' ; I read it in the rules somewhere.

a reply to: ketsuko

A Christmas none of you will forget.

I don't want to sound like an ass, but though you had a lot of bad things that happened, I read a lot of good things that happened as well.

That is how things usually work out. Ten great events that happen over the years you can't remember, but can remember every detail of the one event that went awry.

Just said a prayer for your Mother and your family.

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

A little hard to be positive when your parents are both staring at their mortality.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

A little hard to be positive when your parents are both staring at their mortality.

I know. And like I said, I was not trying to be an ass.

My Dad died at the age of 40. He went to sleep and never woke up. He had a cerebral aneurysm that just ruptured while he was sleeping. I always saw it as a blessing because if he had survived, he would have been a vegetable, and he would have been in true hell depending on someone to change his diaper and to feed him.

Mother lives with me, and I am watching her deteriorated day by day. I try so hard to allow her to have as much independence as I can safely allow her, but it is not easy by a long shot.

It is hard, it is heart breaking, personally the only way I can stay strong is to focus on the blessings, and pray they out number the hard things that I have to face.

I was not making light of your pain. I share it. I was hoping to lift you up, not tear you down. I am sorry that I failed.

Doesn't sound like a very good Christmas to me. Those falls can cause lots of suffering for older people.

It must have been one of Santa's renegade reindeer that your dad hit.

Hope that things go better in the next few days.

a reply to: ketsuko

Hugs.
Luck.
Prayers.


Take your pick!

a reply to: ketsuko

I'm so sorry to hear about your Christmas. Your poor dad. Hitting a deer is no joke. Baby him and keep an eye on him.

Hopefully you can reschedule Christmas.

Wishing your family a speedy recovery. Take care

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

A little hard to be positive when your parents are both staring at their mortality.

I believe I kind of understand, lost my father to a long battle with pancreatic cancer he fought it hard for almost 2 years, and almost immediately afterward we have to take care of our mother. I don't know how to put it but you go into an automatic mode you are on call 24 hours a day emergency mode, and you try and find little victories every day. Go mentally to automatic pilot and live in the moment because the future is so uncertain. It's scary as hell, sometimes but who else is going to do it? For me, almost 2 years I was there every Friday evening and returned immediately Sunday afternoon. Honestly, after a while I worried about him so much I just did better when I was there.

I used to remember all the great times I had with my Dad, I also remembered him saying he didn't ever want to hear any of his children not taking care of a family member if they were in trouble times. He was one of those men who said and lived it. But Mom and he didn't have to say it they were such great parents.

As a last resort use, any time you weren't the best or you disappointed them and remember the patience and love they showed you. If there weren't any occurrences like that, this is still the right thing to do parents are just human with all their flaws and frailties.

All I can add is take care of yourself ketsuko, both mentally and physically find your balance find your strength whatever it is, and apply it here. Your peace from all of this will come in time, your job, for now, is to get to that moment.

I hope there is something in the post you can take and use, if not that's ok too.

prayers...

a reply to: ketsuko
God bless you all, and especially your mother.

I hope your fortune turns a 180 Ketsuko. Don’t let the old man drink and drive.

Have one with him (one!) and hug the feller (more then one!)

Your mom is his wife.

Thoughts and best wishes.

a reply to: ketsuko

a reply to: ketsuko

Ouch.

Sounds like a Christmas nightmare come true.

Good luck, ket.

We'll say a prayer for ya's

a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

No. I get it. It's what I do. It's just been such a rapid succession of things going wrong and not little things that I am reaching my tolerance and end of my ability to roll with it a keep going.

There's a reason I mentioned that specific movie.

originally posted by: NightSkyeB4Dawn

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: NightSkyeB4Dawn

A little hard to be positive when your parents are both staring at their mortality.

I know. And like I said, I was not trying to be an ass.

My Dad died at the age of 40. He went to sleep and never woke up. He had a cerebral aneurysm that just ruptured while he was sleeping. I always saw it as a blessing because if he had survived, he would have been a vegetable, and he would have been in true hell depending on someone to change his diaper and to feed him.

Mother lives with me, and I am watching her deteriorated day by day. I try so hard to allow her to have as much independence as I can safely allow her, but it is not easy by a long shot.

It is hard, it is heart breaking, personally the only way I can stay strong is to focus on the blessings, and pray they out number the hard things that I have to face.

I was not making light of your pain. I share it. I was hoping to lift you up, not tear you down. I am sorry that I failed.

Prayers and blessing your way as well, NightSkyeB4Dawn.

I'm lucky my siblings are fully engaged as well and always have been, we all have the roles we have to fill to make it through this. We are an extremely close family.

I am sorry to hear about your mother but happy she is OK.

I had the Christmas from hell too - thanks to my dysfunctional family. I really do not like this time of year at all. lol

a reply to: ketsuko

It's hard to hear this.

I will add your family to my prayer list.

While we suffer the restraints of a virtual relationship, know that we're sending good vibes your way!

call your mom
tell her you love her