Far Out Burgers LST2022 just for fun

Peter, the fast food critic for the Hot Food Times website, strolls up to the counter and ignores the overhead menus.

“Welcome to Far Out Burgers. Can I take your order?” Bob, the lanky cashier with broad shoulders, speaks.

“What menu options do you have for hamburgers?” Time to find out how well the staff are trained.

“We don’t do hamburgers.” Bob adjusts his crooked name tag.

Peter tugs on his goatee. “But isn’t this a burger joint?”

“You can order ham in a bun.” Bob raises an eyebrow.

I have encountered cockroach-infested areas passing themselves off as restaurants, but what is the deal here?

“I will have the vegetarian option. The cheese melted on garlic bread with salad.”

“Our dough mixes contain bacon fat”, unapologetically. “Would you like a drink?” He adjusts his bright purple and blue uniform hat

Peter glances at the display menu in front of him. Hmm, Fanta and Coke Zero, there is something “normal “in this joint. A post mixer sits on a bench by the dining tables.

“That would be great, thanks.”

“Would you like to upsize?”

Why not? “A giant size cup, please.”

“That will be $7.50.”

Peter pays the bill with his debit card.

Self-service or a menu option? Peter places his hand on his hips.

Peter finally decides, “An empty cup is fine.”

“We don’t serve empty cups.”

“What?!” Peter raises an eyebrow.

Bob exasperated, “We serve cups filled with mostly oxygen.”

Peter shakes his head in bewilderment.

Bob rests his arm over the cash register. Then, he adds, “from earth’s atmosphere.”

“You can order a lower gravity meal at our new location. See for yourself.” Bob points to the wall by the kitchen entrance.

An orange spacesuit with an LCD interface on the right arm is hooked to the wall. The astronaut’s toolbox is a drink holder, a takeaway container, and a paper bag.

Peter raises his head. What is a low gravity meal? Time to switch gears.

Peter finds his voice. “What can you tell me about Far Out Burger’s weight loss menu?”

Bob stares at Peter, “You know what happens when people are in a lower gravity environment...”
He raises an eyebrow. “If people weigh less when they eat at Far Out Burgers, they aren’t obese anymore. “

Peter stoically, “And where does that take place?”

“We plan to open our new store soon. “Oh, wait, you will have to leave. It is now closing time”, Bob deadpans.

“I would like a refund since I never received my order.”

Bob slaps Peter on the shoulder. “This is a no refund zone. Read the small print under the menus.”

He protests, “nobody could read that smaller print.”

“Read that sign on your out.”

Peter heads for the exit. But, lost in thought, he misses the black and white sign that reads BYO magnifying glasses. New Luna store, opening soon.

Thanks for your Story!


Glad you took the time out to post it up.
Johnny