Late night musings

So I am at a bit of a crossroads in my life right now. I found myself pondering this question/thought. Would you rather be someone's Kryptonite or their inspiration? And why? I've been called both by partners (former or current). Personally I feel conflicted, I also think that being someone's Kryptonite can be a good thing but also a bad thing. Typically being someone's Kryptonite means you are the weakness, but to love is weakness and letting your guard down, whether you want to admit it or not. On the flip side it could mean they may want to stay away because they can't handle the emotions or feelings or fear of being hurt. I know being an inspiration is obviously a good thing. I'm just wondering right now if anyone on here has ever felt the same or had similar thoughts and feelings and/or advice. As of now I don't know what I would choose, I lean towards inspiration, but I feel the Kryptonite. Anyways I welcome fellow members thoughts and answers.

a reply to: Katatonik

Well, the original Kryptonite was fatal for Superman. On that premise, I'd rather inspire than kill someone I love. Most of the time.....

a reply to: nugget1

Well I don't want to be fatal to someone for sure, but at the same time if someone says you are their kryptonite, how would that make you feel? Thanks for the response, I'd rather inspire than hurt someone I care about as well. Maybe I just do things without realizing it?

a reply to: Katatonik

It all boils down to the quality of sandwich

a reply to: Terpene

Guess I'll get my @ss in the kitchen

a reply to: Katatonik

but at the same time if someone says you are their kryptonite, how would that make you feel?

I believe kryptonite means weakness when used this way.

originally posted by: Katatonik
a reply to: nugget1

Well I don't want to be fatal to someone for sure, but at the same time if someone says you are their kryptonite, how would that make you feel? Thanks for the response, I'd rather inspire than hurt someone I care about as well. Maybe I just do things without realizing it?

Is it possible the, " you are their kryptonite" just means when they see you or are around you they become weak kneed ? A more high brow indirect compliment. Some people actually think to much instead of basking in the happiness and warmth of a good close relationship with either a friend, family, or a lover.

I think it depends on how the person saying it uses the word kryptonite. From my understanding, it made Superman weaker. It depends on how the person is using the weak reference in a descriptionary manner, too. It could be used in a way that expresses becoming a different person.

Like just a made up, someone that eats meat meets vegetarian and tries to eat veg for a month but would have never considered to do this before and wasn't even asked by the person.

For me the meaning is like:
Weakening of personal believe systems and traits and it can be pos and negative, depending on the viewpoint.

a reply to: 727Sky

You bring up a good point about kryptonite, it only affects superman when close enough...
Inspiration can hit you anytime anywhere.

a reply to: Katatonik

I've never thought of it that way. I usually think in terms of whether someone inspires ME or tears me down. While that may sound selfish, when I am inspired I am my best self, and therefore more pleasant to be around, so in the longrun it makes the relationship better for both.

I guess ideally, if both people inspire one another it is the best case scenario!

With 2 failed LTR I'm perhaps not the best judge, but hey both were over 12 years and we are still friendly. That said the Kryptonite thing it's a thin line between good and not-so-good.

For what it is worth neither of my LTRs, had Kryptonite aspects, though 3 other shorter relationships had those elements. It's like what Patrice O'Neal says nobody is gonna respect another that always kisses their azz. It's smothering when you are somebodies Kryptonite and it's exhausting when somebody else is yours. I personally can operate in those environments for only so long, till I don't want to play anymore. I enjoy the time to myself too much, so when I'm somebodies Kryptonite I get accused of cheating when I disappear for a few days, but I'd never cheat, Ive had it happen to me and it sucks.

It's weird this is basically the theme on BCS, and yes I enjoyed the wild ride that all of my Kryptonite relationships were, the intensity, the depth, the connection. It's not like I even notice these aspects developing, but they are obviously there, I'm just having too good of a time to notice.


Conversely, if some woman is my Kryptonite, Ive learned it's better to try and temper it somewhat, Ive become pretty skeptical and it's one aspect I don't like, I used to believe well let's give that shot you never know till you try. Now I'm more selective and judgemental and I know it's not a good thing. It's like at B/R I didn't just like vanilla and chocolate I wanted to try all the flavors.

I'd rather be none, in the grand scale of things, you will be both, and it's better to accept it. To some you will be their kriptonite, to others their inspiration.

I'd be very careful if somebody said that to me. because it also suggests you're a type of 'fuel" or "supply" for their narcissism.
And what might happen one day is the love-bombing phase for them is over, and there's only devaluation and abuse.

I suggest you research as much as possible on narcissistic and borderline personality disorder (everyone should).

"You're my Kryptonite", does that immediately signal narcissism and bad intentions?
Not necessarily.
I mean people aren't very poetic these days.
But I take it in laws of three.
Three red flags and you're bye-bye.

a reply to: 727Sky

It could be possible. I am one of those people that tend to overthink sometimes. It's gotten better over time when I was younger it half drove me insane spending so much time in my head.

a reply to: Substracto

That's a fair assessment, thanks.

a reply to: new_here

"I guess ideally, if both people inspire one another it is the best case scenario!"

I have to say I agree with you there, thanks for sharing your thoughts.

originally posted by: Katatonik
a reply to: 727Sky

It could be possible. I am one of those people that tend to overthink sometimes. It's gotten better over time when I was younger it half drove me insane spending so much time in my head.

I hear you all I know is when I was younger it was a maturity thing but when and if I could connect we just had a tendency to burn hot and fast. The worst thing though is finding out, like I did a while back that one of my friends that I was pretty into she was really into me, but we never hooked up. It was my fault I just had ADD when it came to relationships then, we tried dating 40 years later and we had some laughs and some fun but it was the beginning of COVID and she was coming off losing her 2nd husband, and the timing wasn't there. Still think about her from time to time, have no doubt in a different time and place we had a chance to be really good together. Still, though she isn't even in the top 3 after 40 years and we basically had 2 shots at it

I got to admit sometimes that passion you feel just when you see them, has its intoxicating effects that if I'm honest I kind of like it, like it a lot. It's about harnessing it and it sometimes is like trying to ride a bucking bronco and you just hold on. No wonder finding the one is tough as hell, much less staying with them long-term. Stumbled across this song below and the movie "The Endless Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" think they both fit the thread.

Apologies for my ramblings, it happens sometimes when I post at 2:30 in the morning. Thanks for a thought-provoking thread, I might have gained a better perspective.