So, you've kicked the bucket

I have thought on this topic often and deep through the past years. Every time there's a funeral I think on it again. Since I live on 8.3 acres, I have wondered about being buried on my own property, how it would be carried out and who would do it. Still working on the details.

When my father died while on a camp out on the Oregon California border I think about 16 or so years ago, another family member and I went to an Oregon rural small town where his body had been delivered. Coming from poor folk, none of us had any money or good credit and since not being involved personally with an after death experience, had NO CLUE as to what was expected. The business holding his body was priced clear out the door. They would not extend us credit for the casket (thank God) and we were in a conundrum. We went back to the even smaller town where my father had been living and spoke to a funeral director in the vicinity. We were told that the body couldn't be held for 'ransom' and could go through any funeral parlor place we wanted. Of course we went with him. He arranged pickup of the body, and we had our father cremated with no body bed as I recall. It cost about $900 I believe and I borrowed the money from a friend. It would have cost us thousands more if we had managed to go through the first place. It still angers me when I think about it. Burying a loved one shouldn't cost so much money.

Many people I know can't afford the end of life costs that have risen so high. I actually thought about building my own casket/coffin to save money. BTW, the difference between the two is one has a narrowing at the base and the other doesn't. They both can be ridiculously expensive.

So I was browsing the other day due to the threads about the increase in deaths and found this site:

funeralcircle.com...

For those of you wanting to only hear the highlights, I'll list a few below. P.S. this is only in the USA so your country of choice may be different.

You don't have to buy a 'body bed' (that's what I am calling a casket/coffin) from the funeral parlor.

Funeral homes have to accept caskets bought elsewhere. Under the Federal Trade Commission’s Funeral Rule, you can purchase a burial container from anywhere or even make one yourself and it must be accepted. Your funeral home or mortuary has no right to refuse a casket from a third-party supplier or charge handling fees to do so.

Caskets can be made of just about anything. I.e. cardboard, woven grass, plywood etc. and can be purchased from a business of your choice or you can make your own.

1. Ensure that your casket adheres to the standards required by the cemetery before buying or making.

Types of Non-Traditional Caskets:

Cardboard Casket ($200+)
Cloth Burial Shroud ($325 – $550) – While not technically a casket, this is a worthwhile mention from a price and sustainability perspective
Woven Fiber Casket ($900 – $2,400+) – This can be made of rattan, seagrass, bamboo, hemp, or even banana leaf.

Or you can go 'bedless' and use a simple shroud. Or your favorite quilt.

If you are also being cremated, the 'body bed' should not contain ANY metal.

Many regular stores sell body beds (who knew, right?)

Amazon
Costco
Sam's Club
Walmart

Now for the fun pictures:



A simple burial shroud I saw on Etsy. Prices vary, $20 on up.



Just thought I'd pass along some information because all of us will be in need at some time in the future and we can save our families a lot of money. and if you want to rent, well that's an option as well.

Rent a Casket
This involves placing the deceased in a simple wooden container that is then inserted into a casket for the service. The wood container is removed from the rental casket after all formalities are done. This practice is becoming more common as the price of funerals increase over time.

A key benefit of this is the cost savings while not having to compromise on having a quality casket during the funeral. While a basic burial container is still used, this is cheaper than forking out for a high-end casket. Your funeral home should have some rental options if you are interested (it can still be pricey to rent so pick an affordable one!). Expect to pay an average of $700 to $1,300 for a rental.

I wouldn't be caught dead in that thing!




...I'll show myself out.

Thanks for sharing the info!

When my mom passed she wanted her body donated to science for teaching medical students. Unfortunately the medical schools couldn’t accept her body because she was so thin at the time of her death. Medical students have to study using cadavers that have adequate musculature.

We were left scrambling a bit to make other arrangements. Funerals are expensive.

have to a reply to: StoutBroux

Quite an interesting subject....thanks!

originally posted by: ColeYounger

I wouldn't be caught dead in that thing!

...I'll show myself out.

Hilarious. But you could make it fun. Have your family and friend write notes about how much they loved you and how great you were. You know, like sign a cast or something. Or if you're a hunter or military, paint it camo. There's all kinds of ideas. Loved green frogs on lily pads, your big elk pic, family photo.....there you go, endless possibilities.

a reply to: StoutBroux

That's a good idea, signing the casket.
I thought I'd share a funny remark said at a funeral. One of my friends had a grandpa who was a real comedian. We were attending the memorial service of an elderly neighbor who had passed away.

It was an open casket service and we were paying our last respects.
Someone said of the deceased "He looks at peace."

My buddy's grandpa said "He looks better than I do, and he's been dead for 3 days!"

a reply to: StoutBroux

I aint paying for anyones funeral, or for stones or places of burial. Dead is dead. my parents are aware and ok with this.

Same goes for me, if i can, i will disappear in to the woods when i hear death coming. Otherwise feed me to the pigs or dump my corpse in to a ditch. i dont care.

If only it was legal to have the skulls of your ancestors, that would be really something, imagine ten generations on a shelf in the wall, with name tags or pictures/information.

One would feel a great sense of personal history and "belonging".

But i must add, have you guys heard about mushroom mycelium caskets? Would be cool if you would just turn to mushrooms, i bet they can digest all the nasty chemicals we are storing as cadavers too.

a reply to: StoutBroux

There are other plans for my earthly remains. My wife and/or children are going to subject my carcass to some kind of 20-step Japanese funeral ritual. Otherwise, I would most likely opt for the human composting that was just approved in Oregon. They say it is cheaper than cremation at around $5,500. I have no idea how much a regular cremation is in Oregon, but I didn't think it was even close to five grand. I'd really be just fine with someone feeding my corpse to sharks or something.

a reply to: tamusan


It's funny, well not exactly, but the town I live in is about $1400 more than the next town over (17 miles) for cremation. I had no idea until a couple of years ago when a good friend died, that cremation had gotten so expensive. Almost as much as a burial.

I personally wanted to be buried, but that was years ago. Now I would like to be cremated. I recently learned of water cremation from another article. It takes about the same amount of time as cremation but water is used instead.

The scientific name for this process is Alkaline Hydrolysis. It’s the same process that occurs as part of nature’s course when a body is laid to rest in the soil.

A combination of gentle water flow, temperature, and alkalinity are used to accelerate the breakdown of organic materials.

From another source:

Aquamation aims to mimic and fast-track the natural decomposition of a body. The key steps of this process involve:
Respectful placement of the body on a metal tray inside a pressurized stainless steel chamber or vessel.

Adding a solution of 5 percent alkali and 95 percent water to the vessel. An average of 80 gallons of liquid is used,
adjusted for the weight and gender of the deceased

Circulation and heating of the solution from 200°F to 300°F for the duration of the process. Due to the pressured cavity of
the chamber, the liquid does not boil

After three to four hours (or longer for lower temperatures), bodily tissues are dissolved into liquid

The liquid is recycled through the normal wastewater treatment facility

Only wet bone fragments on the metal tray remain, along with any medical implants the deceased may have had (e.g. pacemakers, hip replacements, and knee joints will come out whole). These residual fragments are free from chemicals or pathogens and are safe to handle

If time allows, the bones (pure calcium phosphate) are allowed to dry naturally to further reduce the carbon footprint. If the family requires the remains sooner then they are placed in a mechanical dryer

The dry bones are then put through a cremulator machine, which pulverizes them into a coarse white to tan powder. This is the same machine used following traditional flame cremation to produce ground ashes Any remains are then provided to the family

The process uses less energy. But even though you aren't 'boiled', you ARE cooked and then drained into the common waste water treatment plant. And we all know what waste water treatment plants are. And quite frankly, I find that process a little disturbing.

Sewers collect the wastewater from homes, businesses, and many industries, and deliver it to plants for treatment. Most treatment plants were built to clean wastewater for discharge into streams or other receiving waters, or for reuse.

"Hey Ma, does this water taste like Auntie Lynn smelled?"

"No Honey, we just had the funeral a week ago, you're imagining things."

No thank you.

But to each his own.

Thinking about pre-paying for what happens to my and my husband when we move on to the next world.
One thing I am wondering....say you buy your burial/casket/ceremony/cremation in City #1.
You then move to city #2 and die there.

Do you contact the Funeral Home and arrange for transportation of the corpse?
Do Funeral Homes have reciprocal arrangements?

I haven't done any research yet, but figured since topic cam up here, I might as well ask since someone may have the answer.

FTR on aquamation
States where it is legal
www.greencremationtexas.com...

a reply to: DontTreadOnMe

The funeral home where my father was first taken wanted payment for the delivery of his body from the campground to it's location. They wanted around $300.00 Since I didn't have it and the whole issue seemed to be a cluster bomb, I couldn't even think of the right questions to ask. What I later determined is that the funeral home you have made initial arrangements with will handle everything but may have some additional fees above and beyond your pre-payment arrangement. They would be the ones to ask in any case. But don't quote me. If anyone on the site is in the know, please share. Also, rules may vary by state.

I wonder how people who are snowbirds that pass in the state of AZ and live in ND for instance. Or those who die while away on vacation or whatever to another state. I just don't know.

a reply to: StoutBroux

Well, that makes sense. A travel surcharge.
As you say, people die when traveling.

a reply to: StoutBroux

I also read about the water cremation, and I would not have any problems with being flushed down the sewer. I like human composting because the body is transformed into a cubic yard of nutrient-rich soil. Just chuck me in the woods afterwards. You can't be much closer to returning to nature than that. Just dying in the woods and never being found is probably the next best thing.

I'd go for the full body casket and a tombstone if I felt any kind of attachment to a specific location. I was a military brat and have called way too many places home. I could be buried in the Appalachians with my own grandparents, great-grandparents, etc., but I've only spent holidays and summers there. I've lived around the world and have only spent six of my 55 years here on the Oregon coast. That is the longest that I've lived anywhere, and I am still a transient at best.

The only reason that I consent to the Japanese ritual is because my wife's maternal line could die out if I don't. She has a sister and two female cousins and no male heir in their generation. There would eventually be no one to honor her maternal ancestors, and their ashes would go to the graveyard. My wife and I have some sons together who can keep it going for at least one, maybe two more generations. My wife will put my share of my parents' ashes in the shrine with us.

I should not have looked at this thread. My mother-in-law died Thursday morning early. It's still a bit too soon for me, but that's hardly your fault.

a reply to: ketsuko

So sorry, my sincere condolences.

a reply to: tamusan

I hear you on a lot of that and feel the same. Good on you though for honoring family tradition considering it is so important to your family.

a reply to: XipeTotex

Same goes for me, if i can, i will disappear in to the woods when i hear death coming. Otherwise feed me to the pigs or dump my corpse in to a ditch. i dont care.

I'm sure Sasquatch would be okay with that as well.

Explicit orders to the missus, cremation and dont bury me and dont put me in an urn, go on a hike and just drop me off as I she goes.

a reply to: StoutBroux

Unfortunately, I found out about travel costs when my mom died. She refused to make any arrangements but only said if we had her cremated she would haunt us, she wanted an autopsy and to get the cheapest funeral.

She died in Illinois, but her father was buried in the heart of Silicon Valley. Since the plots were so expensive, 20k, they allowed two people buried in each location. My cousin had his mother cremated so he was going to let us use the top plot for free. We were going to have to have an Illinois funeral home pick her up from the hospital, put her in a special casket, drive her to the airport, pay for the airline (2k when tickets were $50 - I swear if they would have allowed it I would have put her in a seat), then a funeral home in California would have to pick her up and bring her to the plot. Total price 10k - this did not include any plot or service. We were told it was possible just to drive her ourselves, but I passed on that - different States have different regulations, it might be totally possible just to drive).

Anyway, after all the arrangements were made by me, my sister decides she wanted her buried in Illinois. We fought but as usual she insisted and then stuck me with the entire bill.

a reply to: tamusan

My condolences for your family's loss.