Not having anything in common with anyone almost ever

a reply to: ancientlight

But in my close small circle of friends/family I feel not relation to anyone. So that's the truth.

We all have one thing in common here (well except zombie,carpy & a few others) that we are awake

Boy, this hit me right between the eyes! and Your second line made me spray my drink all over!

I came to realize recently that I seem to fit the pattern of 'attachment disorder'. I keep people at a distance; always have, always will. I've been aware that I have trouble investing in deep relationships; I know why and I'm fine with it.

I've built a life I very much enjoy, but doesn't include very many close relationships with anyone but my hubby , children and grandchildren. That's about all the intense 'closeness' I can handle, need or want. By most standards, I'm sure that makes me 'flawed', but aren't we all in one way or another?

You are not flawed; you are unique.

originally posted by: ancientlight
Can anyone relate?
Looking back at my life , I feel so alienated from everyone.

It's just so depressing and feels more depressing the older I get!
I feel invisible , I feel alien, I feel alone , I feel old

I feel I'm ugly and just ugh . I don't know just needing to reflect as this site is the only social media site where I post anything at all ever.
At times I don't feel human, why am I so awkward in social situations?
I sound silly for someone my age, but my life also hasn't changed in more than a decade.
I'm at a standstill and a dead end.

I have nothing in common with anyone I know , except my ex but that's not very useful.
I don't have pet though I'd love to get some fancy rats again

circumstances have prevented me so far.

I don't know , just another lonely weekend ,fading away.
blah.

Here I feel I can be myself at least. Elsewhere I'd put up a front but here I feel accepted

I feel for you. Believe me, I can totally relate to a lot of what you're saying. I'm socially awkward to the point that I prefer interacting online to talking to people face to face. I never know what to say, and feel like a total outsider. You're not alone. I just do my comfort zone. I interact online to those I want to interact with and the rest I just say the hell with it. I'm over caring what others think of me. I feel plain and like most people pity me.

In the end, I'm of the belief that you do you, and the hell with what anyone else thinks. At my age, I feel that's the way I live my best life.

originally posted by: Tundra
a reply to: ancientlight

Another lonely soul here as well.

Feel free to pm me anytime

originally posted by: igloo
I haven't read through the thread fully yet but wondering if it might be ptsd from the pandemic measures as opposed to simply a mind that doesn't fit the mold and suffering for it.

I've always been a loner, though there were times I wanted to join in and managed to, I always felt ill at ease unless alone. During the pandemic, the division created had me shunned by family, friends, media, boss so badly that the rift is still there in my heart. The world seems to be moving on but I feel damaged by what happened. The isolation and abuse went beyond what I ever could have imagined. I'm left feeling no one really understands or cares, that I can't trust anyone beyond day to day niceties.

Wasn't wanting to make this about me just that I suspect there are many others out there who will suffer from this for a long time. If this is the case for you, then I think time heals especially as most people are just beginning to realize the damage done. ATS has been a lifeline for me in being at least among people who know there were opposing voices to the covid narrative even if they were unaffected themselves.

I've very much liked your posts and, like so many others on here, wish I knew you in person. It would be great to have a real community of good hearted, intelligent, informed people.

I have liked your posts as well & if you ever feel lonely feel free to PM me

originally posted by: nugget1
a reply to: ancientlight

But in my close small circle of friends/family I feel not relation to anyone. So that's the truth.

We all have one thing in common here (well except zombie,carpy & a few others) that we are awake

Boy, this hit me right between the eyes! and

Your second line made me spray my drink all over!

I came to realize recently that I seem to fit the pattern of 'attachment disorder'. I keep people at a distance; always have, always will. I've been aware that I have trouble investing in deep relationships; I know why and I'm fine with it.

I've built a life I very much enjoy, but doesn't include very many close relationships with anyone but my hubby , children and grandchildren. That's about all the intense 'closeness' I can handle, need or want. By most standards, I'm sure that makes me 'flawed', but aren't we all in one way or another?

You are not flawed; you are unique.

Thank you & happy to have made you laugh

a reply to: ancientlight

I don't fit in that well either sometimes but it doesn't bother me because I prefer being by myself anyway - hanging out with my cat and doing my own thing. Keeps trouble away too.

Don't let others define what you think of yourself. There are way more important things than how we look to others. Media has convinced some people that outward appearances are of utmost importance, but what a sad place to be in really. Yes, this is a good place to come to say what you think and talk to others who are like-minded.

originally posted by: ChiefD

originally posted by: ancientlight
Can anyone relate?
Looking back at my life , I feel so alienated from everyone.

It's just so depressing and feels more depressing the older I get!
I feel invisible , I feel alien, I feel alone , I feel old

I feel I'm ugly and just ugh . I don't know just needing to reflect as this site is the only social media site where I post anything at all ever.
At times I don't feel human, why am I so awkward in social situations?
I sound silly for someone my age, but my life also hasn't changed in more than a decade.
I'm at a standstill and a dead end.

I have nothing in common with anyone I know , except my ex but that's not very useful.
I don't have pet though I'd love to get some fancy rats again

circumstances have prevented me so far.

I don't know , just another lonely weekend ,fading away.
blah.

Here I feel I can be myself at least. Elsewhere I'd put up a front but here I feel accepted

I feel for you. Believe me, I can totally relate to a lot of what you're saying. I'm socially awkward to the point that I prefer interacting online to talking to people face to face. I never know what to say, and feel like a total outsider. You're not alone. I just do my comfort zone. I interact online to those I want to interact with and the rest I just say the hell with it. I'm over caring what others think of me. I feel plain and like most people pity me.

In the end, I'm of the belief that you do you, and the hell with what anyone else thinks. At my age, I feel that's the way I live my best life.

Thank you. I'm getting much better with thinking 'the hell with what anyone else thinks', though I still have my ups & downs. Also something major I forgot to mention in my original message was how homesick I am.
Living in Florida , missing the Netherlands. All a long story but definitely part of the problem

a reply to: ancientlight

Wow, Netherlands to FL, that sure could be a shock & take some major adjusting to! At least you don't have to worry about cold & snow now, although some people like that sort of weather. I'm not yet at my perfect location climate-wise, but it sure doesn't include cold & snow! Not sure how you landed in FL, but there's gotta be some things about the state that you like. If not much, maybe just moving to another state could be an option? Where you are may not be the problem though. Some people can be socially awkward & a loner & are OK with it. right now I'm perfectly fine with the company of my cat, dog & a few chickens - sure meeting a Mr Right would be nice, but I'm OK going solo too. Others may feel that being socially awkward & a loner makes them lonely & depressed. There's so much to stay busy with and learn, and it's OK to do it yourself, IF you are OK with that. I guess bottom line is, if all this OK with you, you are a perfectly fine & unique individual just as you are!
However, if it's creating loneliness & stress, then trying some of the tips people have posted here for getting out & socializing a bit more could definitely help. Just getting out & enjoying nature is always good too.
Sorry my socially awkward self can't offer much help!

originally posted by: bluesman462002
Don't Feel left out.
I have been what most around here call a Loner.
Don't like being around a lot of people.
I can enjoy the Quiet.
I'm not lonely being around a lot of people anymore because so many
are Idiots and are clueless talking nonsense constantly.
A lot Can't see the Forest for the Trees.
So being away from the Craziness actually helps.
at least for me it does.

originally posted by: ancientlight
Can anyone relate?
Looking back at my life , I feel so alienated from everyone.

It's just so depressing and feels more depressing the older I get!
I feel invisible , I feel alien, I feel alone , I feel old

I feel I'm ugly and just ugh . I don't know just needing to reflect as this site is the only social media site where I post anything at all ever.
At times I don't feel human, why am I so awkward in social situations?
I sound silly for someone my age, but my life also hasn't changed in more than a decade.
I'm at a standstill and a dead end.

I have nothing in common with anyone I know , except my ex but that's not very useful.
I don't have pet though I'd love to get some fancy rats again

circumstances have prevented me so far.

I don't know , just another lonely weekend ,fading away.
blah.

Here I feel I can be myself at least. Elsewhere I'd put up a front but here I feel accepted

LOL Ive always half-joked, Ive always been myself, LOL and it's one reason I don't have a lot of friends

a reply to: ancientlight

Age is just a number! I'm in my 30's but feel 50 half the time... Exercise (mental and physical), diet and routine have been helping knock a few years off how I feel. We run on chemicals, the one's we produce ourselves usually do us good!

Noticed your last post, there's probably expat societies based in Florida. Expat stores are popular too, I use them myself to make occasionally to make authentic regional dishes. Great for nostalgia!

a reply to: ancientlight

"You humans are all the same" - says every alien.

a reply to: ancientlight

Glad you got so many friendly replies, lotsa nice friendly folks around these parts.

Finally got tired of all of the " Experts™ " telling me it was depression, or low-self-esteem.

It all changed-around for me when rejected them all, and decided to give zero F's.

Am still nice, kind, polite, friendly, and cracking jokes with others, but nothing any of them say can get under my skin, or cause me to doubt-myself while ruminating thoughts at night.

Just like insane folks claim that everyone else is insane, and they are the only sane ones : analyzed other's, and decided that it was not me that has " Low-Self-Esteem™ " : but that my level of tempered self-esteem was just right, but was living in a society where over-inflated self-esteem is the norm !!

There are other pockets in this world, where you and me would be considered to have over-inflated self-esteem !!

It's all relative !

In my books : you are a nice friendly member, and maybe just spending too much time worrying about all of the negative outcomes of what is discussed here.

Give yourself a break sometimes.
Go for a walk in the park, and notice that the animals and trees are behaving just as they always have.

a reply to: ancientlight
Hallo

Perseverance is the key ive learnt that alot over the last few years. Im glad your a part of this community as it gives you a sense of belonging and that's important when a person has little else in life. I feel for you that your missing your home country and family or friends. I was quite bored till recently going through the same monotonous routine day after day then i clued onto an idea to improve my portable showering system which ive been using for some time due to life circumstances. It took a couple of nights of tinkering in the end its going to be great with increased pressure and something of a proper spray head attached, a garden sprayer which actually has turned out to be far better than a standard shower head. If your a person that likes to alter or improve something maybe there's something that could use a little tlc around your home? I tell you using the grey matter where your so intently focused sure takes your mind off things and gives it a good work out. Another idea would be writing if you enjoy that. It is a great past time. Perhaps you have life experiences you could write about that would offer younger people advice? Practical ideas? Things that could be put into practice? For instance one useful baking tip ive learnt is when using non stick baking paper to put a little water beneath before hand and it makes the paper stick to the pan. Helps alot when pouring a heavy batter or placing some dough in it. Have a great day

originally posted by: ancientlight
I feel so alienated from everyone...

I have nothing in common with anyone I know...

Here I feel I can be myself at least.

You have something in common with Us. You like ATS.

I grew up in the Country. Seven miles out of town in the middle of corn fields. If I wasn't hanging out with my neighbor, I was doing things all on my own.

There are a bunch of ways to meet people.

Go to the Library. Sometimes, you could find someone with the same interests as you.

There's Meetup.com with a ton of different things to meet people you have things in common with.

Reddit.com has a subforum for just about anything. And even if it doesn't, you can make a NEW subforum just about your specific interest.

Hope that helps.

There is a funny movie called I love you man where the guy is completely awkward...he cannot socialize or make friends...he says weird things.

Sure feels solipsistic in here. . a reply to: ancientlight

a reply to: ancientlight

what do you wish you could do, that you don't do now?

a reply to: ancientlight

You are a human being on a planet with billions of other human beings.

You have every right to lift yourself up as you pass by others with a smile
and an enthusiastic greeting. You simply need to let others see the joy of
life in you. The words out going should be applied. This is accepted far more
than rejected. Some people are just weird and freak out if you talk to them.

They're my favorite.

Add your own unique persona as you go. Challenge some one comically for
ignoring you. See what happens when you put you in gear?

a reply to: ancientlight
Don't look back at your life.
Look at what there is to look at.

The mantra "I am not good enough" is incredibly common.

Dear Ancient Light,

Your words posted 5/28 acted as a balm to my soul. I have felt the same way most of the time since childhood, especially for the last 10 years since I retired from nursing. Yes, as you can tell from your commenters, many people struggle with this. And folks really provided some wonderful support and advice. I particularly remember the poster who provided the quote from Krishnamurti, and even chronaut who shared about aliens, a play on the word alienated.

I am finally beginning to accept myself with all my quirks. I've always been a loner, an observer, an outsider. This has been difficult because I am a people pleaser, too. I've been a follower of Carl Jung over the years and appreciate his Personality Type research. You might check into that to provide some clarity for yourself (Myers-'Briggs Type Indicator). I think very deeply and feel very deeply so I don't fit in with most of society.

As for missing the Netherlands...wow, I can relate on a local level. I live a few hours away from the San Francisco Bay Area where I grew up. Whenever I drive down the freeway past SF and around the Bay I feel wholly like I am BACK HOME.

Blessings to you in these difficult times.

Seeker