Where's the Grief?

Maybe I've missed the posts about dealing with grief on the boards being relatively new yet even so the threads here are rotten with covid 19 posts detailing the staggering death counts & endless variations of folks dead or dying from vaccinations. Death death death everywhere you look but nobody's grieving. Nobody needs help coping with grief. Nobody's posting pics of their loved ones funerals etc. I'm not grieving either but that's because I don't know anyone who's died from covid 19. Not personally. You'd think after 2 years I would but have any of you?

a reply to: ConcernedCanadian

Yes, my brother is dead. He was murdered by the very people meant to save him.

P

a reply to: pheonix358

Coping, are you?

Most of the people I knew that died from having covid were pretty old or they were struggling with health problems for years. The old people had a sucky life before dying...no more social functions, no visiting friends in the hospital (that is a social function when you get old I guess) and if they wound up in the hospital nobody could come see them...which depressed them a lot. Old people die here every day, the fact that there are a real lot of baby boomers kicking the bucket is not abnormal.

What does suck is that we had an eighth grade kid today shoot himself in the head at school during lunchtime in the bathroom. A real lot of people got guns around here, even women have conceiled permits and carry them in their purses or with them when they go for a hike out in the woods on trails for exercise...we have some cougars, wolves, packs of coyotes, and bears around here. The kid could have taken one of his parents guns...Why did he choose the school to shoot himself at? Why did he shoot himself....they were having a cop give a speech about bullying in a class when he shot himself. When stuff like this happens it is concerning. The kids were sent home from the highschool, and they don't have school tomorrow either there. That is a tragedy, I wonder what led the kid to do this. His poor parents, I wonder what is going through their minds today. I wonder if he had siblings?

Well, technically it is now after midnight, so it was yesterday. It happened at an Ishpeming high school, about twelve miles away from my house.

a reply to: rickymouse

No posts about dealing with grief. You sound ok to me. Getting thru it all? Are their posts about dealing with grief? You've posted 40,000 times. How many would you estimate were about grief?

My father died last month from Covid, he had all 3 vaccinations but was in risk group cos of his asthma. We don´t know who gave it to him as only person we know visited him almost daily was my brother who tested negative. I was able to visit and talk to my father before he passed away, i was all geared up in protection suits and week later i got Covid ( as a nurse i have had all vaccinations and know how to protect myself but got it from someone and could be anyone i know or do not know and i am not blaiming anyone as now Covid spreads very fast in population ). Covid i had was very mild few days of fever ( not a knock out one ) and sore throat and nothing more, my hubby and our son have not had it yet.

a reply to: dollukka

I got asthma from that with a covid factored into the mix. Sorry for your loss. My parents died decades ago. It never stops hurting the loss. Did your obit for him say covid, I wonder?

I've yet to see a local obit citing covid as cause of death. Only on TMZ.

originally posted by: ConcernedCanadian
a reply to: rickymouse

No posts about dealing with grief. You sound ok to me. Getting thru it all? Are their posts about dealing with grief? You've posted 40,000 times. How many would you estimate were about grief?

Yeah, I talk too much. I am not obsessed with talking about grief, I don't like talking about that kind of stuff. I am the kind of person who lightens up things at funerals, talking about all the fun and interesting things that the dead person used to do. Promoting grief is kind of something I avoid, people feel bad enough as it is when things go bad, they don't need to be reminded of it all the time. People who dwell on death seem to repel their friends who don't want to dwell on a death. You are supposed to help the person adjust to life with the person gone, not keep bringing it up...Be cheerful when you go visit them to bring up their spirits....don't drag them back into the quicksand.

a reply to: rickymouse

folks who talk death 24/7 on the boards must also talk about grief. They go hand in hand but not so much around here.

a reply to: ConcernedCanadian

I do not live nearby it took me two hours to drive to see him when he was already in hospital. I don´t live in US so in here if someone dies having Covid it states as a reason of death.

a reply to: dollukka

Strange that there's not lots of grief threads to go along with the endless parade of death tolls up and down the boards. Am I wrong? I don't see any grieving in my neighborhood or place of employment. Nobody seems affected. I find that telling.

originally posted by: rickymouse
Most of the people I knew that died from having covid were pretty old or they were struggling with health problems for years. The old people had a sucky life before dying...no more social functions, no visiting friends in the hospital (that is a social function when you get old I guess) and if they wound up in the hospital nobody could come see them...which depressed them a lot. Old people die here every day, the fact that there are a real lot of baby boomers kicking the bucket is not abnormal.

What does suck is that we had an eighth grade kid today shoot himself in the head at school during lunchtime in the bathroom. A real lot of people got guns around here, even women have conceiled permits and carry them in their purses or with them when they go for a hike out in the woods on trails for exercise...we have some cougars, wolves, packs of coyotes, and bears around here. The kid could have taken one of his parents guns...Why did he choose the school to shoot himself at? Why did he shoot himself....they were having a cop give a speech about bullying in a class when he shot himself. When stuff like this happens it is concerning. The kids were sent home from the highschool, and they don't have school tomorrow either there. That is a tragedy, I wonder what led the kid to do this. His poor parents, I wonder what is going through their minds today. I wonder if he had siblings?

Well, technically it is now after midnight, so it was yesterday. It happened at an Ishpeming high school, about twelve miles away from my house.

That poor boy. I'm so sad to hear that, and his poor parents
My guess would be he was bullied, and his parents ignored his pleas for help. And/or abused at home?
He didn't feel heard , and didn't see any way out of that
I struggle with suicidal thoughts often, but I'm an adult , for a child to go through this ugh sick sorry world we live in.

originally posted by: ConcernedCanadian
a reply to: dollukka

Strange that there's not lots of grief threads to go along with the endless parade of death tolls up and down the boards. Am I wrong? I don't see any grieving in my neighborhood or place of employment. Nobody seems affected. I find that telling.

I wonder about that too often. In the 1800s people, especially the women , would wear grieving clothes and pins.
I think it makes sense. That way you're not forced to 'act normal' and are not forced to smile/keep it all in at all times

a reply to: ancientlight

You'd think there'd be hundreds on a board of this size sharing experiences in helping care for the sick and dying since year one. Not the case. I'm not finding those kinds of threads. I could throw a rock and hit a bigfoot post but you'd think with so many posting covid horror stories you'd have representation for those shells hocked survivors trying to find housing for the ill etc. Pie charts detailing the death toll in various nations around the world you'll see. But no grief for them either. I remember being on the frontline duroing the aids outbreak in the 80s. I worked 7 days a week assisting the affected. I haven't even had to send an email over covid.

a reply to: ConcernedCanadian

There has been as i have seen. I made one griefing about my father´s death. I have seen some others too. I guess these threads are quite buried between the all antivax and other news.

a reply to: dollukka

That doesn't equal a global pandemic. Sorry for your loss but really I asked about the obituary and you never got back so...? May be he did and maybe he didn't Who am I to say? What I can say for a certainty is the number of posts about covid victims does not compute with the vast number of grieving survivors in this large community who should be posting daily. I've seen more alien abduction stories. Where's the grief. Don't need backtalk.

Death has been going on long before covid, guess you kinda get use to it? Grief defiantly has its moments, sad to see it go...

There are general stages people go through with grief, usually people find their own way through. It is an ugly place when looking for the truth, have had to take my time off and breaks when coming to terms with the scale of the problems. With so much of it out of our hands, just have to let it go.

There is a time to be sad, lost and confused. It is a bad place to be if stuck in it and limits any capability in sorting things out.

Acceptance is usually the last in the stages of grief. We are all going to die one day. Till then, try and make the most of it and avoid some of the traps out there.

a reply to: kwakakev

I was a grief counselor for a decade. Lots of suicide prevention, crisis management, trauma etc. I know grief when I see it. And I'm not seeing the magnitude of grief on this board. What I'm seeing is a minimum and nothing indicative of a pandemic. You'd know the dif from being in a pandemic and just being on a board talking about it.

originally posted by: ConcernedCanadian
a reply to: dollukka

Strange that there's not lots of grief threads to go along with the endless parade of death tolls up and down the boards. Am I wrong? I don't see any grieving in my neighborhood or place of employment. Nobody seems affected. I find that telling.

I've found the same thing. Nobody here seems to know anyone who died of covid. I literally only know five people on the planet who got it, spread over two continents.

I have seen a rise in deaths though. A drug overdose, suicide, heart attacks, fast cancer, another unknown reason to me at the moment. Not saying it's connected but I do find it strange.

Editing to add, there simply is no pandemic where I live. The deaths I mentioned were not super close to me so not grieving but I think people went downhill from medical neglect of other issues, loneliness etc. Just not covid.

a reply to: igloo

There's none where I live either. Have family and friends all over the country. They're fine. Office tower full of business associates; fine. Zero casualties. Haven't changed a single bedpan. Haven't attended a single funeral. Haven't seen an obit in the local paper stating covid as cause of death. Despite the pandemic being on full blast 24/7.