a reply to:
Crowfoot
I don't really get it...
Not like other people...
I mean, the body tries to rid itself from disease as fast as it can. Why would you want to force your body to create an endless and continous supply
of spike proteins, which do have some toxicity you know... I mean...
You're BEST option would be to try just not getting the disease, if you do you do damage-control in every verified way possible, and other options
like some meds which could perfectly be used, sure you might need to sue a doctor and get a judge to command a hospital two times in a row, but yea,
you gonna get yer meds. Either that, I go full tilt, enter berserker mode, I will forcefully get my hands on the meds, not by harming anyone.... When
you see me, you gonna know to allow me to pass just nice and quite...
You will see it in my eyes, this is no time to go full gandalf and block my road to salvation you demon role-playing doctor leech parasite
bodysnachter... whatever, I don't #ing care what you are... Feast on my negative emotions, go full power... Like yeah, make me usefull lol. You know,
you don't realise the depth of my scrubbyness.... I mean, I'm not just a Scrub, as my name states, I am the Commander of the Scrubs.
I mean, I'm one of the lowest forms of life, but I excell in it and perform my role with a certain sense of pride and ofcourse, the proper shame, at
the appropriate timings and situations.
But I am... more the role of the 'fool', or the 'jester'... I question everything, in some absurd way, either directly questioning it, or relating it
to something else, which would sound absurd, and will signify the utter irelevance of the related matter, or does it... Not exactly... It just asks to
spend some time thinking. I mean, I will always say some stuff, and they are certainly words, I am able to phrase them in a way that would imply
intelligence and yet say so little with so many words, some of them even sophisticated to some standards...
At the end of the text everyone has some mixed feelings... Was this a complete waste of time? How mange cringes does it need to pull through this
delusional self-righteous wanneba paladin... Look buddy, this is real life, we're not playing WoW, your no wizard, and the demons, they are, and they
will destroy you, so don't go full hero you test-tube pleidian defective starseed, return to sender, coz full useless. Doubt your actual family would
even accept you back I mean, you even fail as a human, nah mate, you have no business here in pleaide hotel...
# you judgemental pleaides wannabe lightbeing bastards... You know, the darkside just tell you, you #, and should die. More or less. I mean, what do
these self-proclaimed holy warriors do? Chant weird occult 'new age' version, insert subliminal mind-hooks for easy acces (manipulation-hypnosis)
later...
Save me beings of light, come aboard fellow traveller... So, how does it look where we're going? "Well, to become aware and enlightened, you must
first learn to face your fear, fear comes in many forms, first, the most primal challenge is utter and complete darkness. For extended periods of
time, leading to an inevitable feeling of desperation, doom and other emotions which would make you prefer just being dead, and just when you thought
you have took your last breath, because the insane amount of these fearful emotions, really sucks all the energy from the top, all the way through
your body, vanishing into the ground... You try to keep on your feet, but are forced to crawl on hand and feet, barely... With all remeaning
energy.
While your squirming in agony, innocent bystanders are actually thinking you sorta overdosed on sometinng and are completely spacing out, hm, I wish I
had that feeling...
The actual situation where this story is based upon is a certain psychotic episode, where I had the undeniably and overwhelmingly certain and emminent
feeling that would soon experience every single possible way of dying the in the least painful to the most painful in consecutive order, fear not,
we're quite creative in our illusions... We have some levels to beat you know...
Not the most pleasant thought, and it was the only time I ever exerpienced this insane draining of energy in just a few seconds by the fear of that
certain thought...
I do not tell this to sound cool or something...
I just thought it might be interesting to know for people, as I didn't know this myself, that sort of fear causing this complete deprivation of
energy.... And, it sorta felt more threatening to losing that vast amount of energy in such rapid time, like... It felt as if it was possible to die
from that kind of release of energy... Coz it felt it course through my body, not in a good way, all the way down, out my legs, into the ground,
gone... I was at a hospital, so I was sober and such, and they had to carry me to my room, they thought I was full spacing... I was going crazy, it
looks similar I guess lol. Jezus...
That's a pretty hefty situation, you have to realise, I felt like meeting unimaginable doom every second, I was sitting in the chair waiting any
moment just a needle to spawn out of thin air piercing my eye you know... In psychotic town anything is possiblle... I was pulling out my hairs...
Yeah, when you start compulsively pulling out your hair and it feels like it isn't the worst action to be performing, you realise, the situation is
pretty dire...
Anyway, I survived... So many of those stories.
But then you have those weird details in the story...
So they carried me to a bed, and this nurse a guy, was staying there keeping some watch... And I was like... What if we do it all at once - By which I
meant, what if we cropped the entire experience of what I thought would be happening, in some weird extremely #ed up but probably a possible VR
experience someday short instance of all the possible deaths, happenig simultaneously...
And even though, I had told nothing about what I was actually thinking... He replied: "As some form of solution for the situation?"
I nodded, he left the room... I was still scared #less, but already slightly stabilized, and slowly started getting out of the room and returned an
hour or two after to a more relaxed and peaceful state, where I felt safe again...
It's weird, you go from full chaos storm wizard, to serene and peaceful lagoon crab. I mean, you're battling darkness that competely overwhelms you
one minute, the next your kinda feeling cute, testing the bounderaries how far you are allowed off your room, like anyone cares, do what you want lol,
good your getting off the room, it's not illegal... you know, get out, go sit in the sun, yeah, would love that, just making sure theres nobody
wanting me dead here ya know, # gets weird sometimes...
These experiences... They are quite something.