The Last Course...tts2022

The Last Course


A group of CEOs from a major drug company are sitting in a conference room discussing this year's performance and their strategy going forward.


As they work their way through a 7 course meal, each of the VPs take a turn on the stage sharing their vision for success for the years to come.


It isn't until the last course that the VP of marketing takes his turn at the podium and lays out his team's 5 year marketing plan.


Hello and thank you for coming. This last year has been very profitable for us and has made our shareholders very happy.


As the year comes to a close, I'd like to highlight some of the better performing products we've put to market, along with some of the ways we've reduced costs in order to increase our profitability.


Now, we all know that the number one selling drug on the market today is our new covid vaccination.  It has been the focus of attention for the last 2 years thanks to the marketing team's advertising campaign. 


I think the strategy of creating a problem, instilling fear, and then offering a solution has always been the best strategy for bringing a product to market but, for the last 2 years the marketing team's performance has exceeded all expectations and I'm proud to say that, because of them, we've reached historical numbers and our profits for the year have been astronomical.


Can we take a minute to recognize Bob and his team please? 


The crowd stands up, turns their attention towards Bob's table while clapping and cheering for him and his team


Not only that, they've introduced a new platform that reduces our testing and development costs by 2/3rds!


This was done by performing human trials in real time application instead of using the traditional 10 year testing that was previously required for new drugs.


The way we've set up the new mRNA marketing campaign has allowed us to:


1. Reduce research and development time

2. Do real world trials

3. Eliminates all accountability

4. Transfers the populace focus to reducing symptoms instead of finding cures and finally..

5. Opens up the market to new vaccinations for old diseases.


 But we're not done yet..





Now, although we'll be able to continue this upward momentum for the next 3-4 years through proper campaign management (new variants and booster shots), the sales are expected to drop off slightly in the next quarter and then spiral downward dramatically from there.


This leaves us with the question of: what's next?


Let me take a minute to explain the next drug marketing campaign.


As you know, over the last millenia we've been utilizing the same profit margin improvement techniques that other companies have by reducing active ingredients and increasing cheaper, more affordable filler products into our traditional vaccinations.


We've also repurposed many of our drugs that have already been on the market instead of developing new ones. And we've been able to reduce R&D costs by simple acquisition of companiesversus actually developing the drugs ourselves.


That is why you're seeing a rise in previously eradicated diseases such as measles, polio, rubella and our costs to go to market have decreased.


Now, we've slowly been bringing focus to the small outbreaks that have been occurring and our campaign strategy will be similar to what we did with covid: create a problem, instill fear, and offer a cure.



You've heard the term "drug resistant bacteria"? There's a reason for that. Bob and his team have been doing their jobs. 


We've slowly phased in that term as well as other ones like "antibiotics resistance threats* and "antimicrobial drug-resistant diseases", ect..


By reducing the effectiveness of drugs and using the above mentioned terminology we're creating a new market. 


This is much more acceptable than creating a new disease that we have no idea how it would mutate once introduced to the world. 


Since the new mRNA vaccination is much more affordable to make and doesn't have to actually be effective, we'll be rolling out a series of mRNA shots for the traditional  children's vaccinations.


Of course, the marketing for those shots will be centered around total population vaccination but, we don't expect the huge sales numbers we saw with covid. 


But this does 3 things for us: it increases the acceptance of mRNA Vaccines, solidifies the real world testing program, and reduces the costs associated with making a real,effective vaccine.


The most important thing it does for us though is it opens up new access to previously eradicated diseases. 


This allows us to satisfy our investors expectations of year end profits and continues to decrease costs on the back end by minimizing R&D expenses as well as decreasing drug testing time and here's why:


We don't have to develop another mRNA shot because the populace has accepted that Vaccines no longer have to be effective, they just have to promise a possibility or slight percentage of increasing immunity. So, we can just use the same mRNA vaccine that we developed for covid.


Now, there is a potential risk that the vaccine will, over a course of time, have adverse effects on the populace. But that isn't the marketing team's concern. 


However, we've also got a strategy developed  should that be the case.


Of course it is based on the traditional technique of deny and divert. 


1. We have multiple companies that have made and distributed slightly different Vaccines. 

2. We've ensured that we have 75 years before we have to release vax data to FOIA

3. And the emergency use authorization act 


If something does go terribly wrong we are able to point fingers (especially now since we convinced the public to mix products), point to the data which has everything disclosed but there is soo much to go through they can't even begin take heads or tails of it, and, if needed, we can also put the blame back on the fda and the government itself because...they were the ones who rushed it through.


All and all, this is a near perfect marketing strategy that will allow us the freedom to expand our drug business in the future, create new needs for our drugs, and capitalize on existing diseases.


In conclusion, I'd again like to thank the marketing and advertising team for their massive effort in opening new doors for our company and ensuring years and years of a sustainable future.


The End..

blend57

My favorite.

I love NON-fiction!!!
I wanted to write one with a similar theme but too much to do for Year End. Mine would not have been as good as this, by far.
Seriously, Great job.

Quad

a reply to: blend57

Yep, that about sums 2021 up!

Great read, blend.

Bob is a real schmuck.

originally posted by: Quadrivium
My favorite.

I love NON-fiction!!!
I wanted to write one with a similar theme but too much to do for Year End. Mine would not have been as good as this, by far.
Seriously, Great job.

Quad

Thank you! Non-fiction is the way to go!

originally posted by: zosimov
a reply to: blend57

Yep, that about sums 2021 up!

Great read, blend.

Bob is a real schmuck.

I used to like Bob....not so much anymore.

Thanks for the comments!

Happy new year! Hope it's way better than the last 2.

blend

a reply to: blend57

Great use of an end-of-year conference to summarise how Big Pharma do business. Your (and their) narrative is crystal clear... Well done!

Awesome Writing a reply to: blend57

a reply to: blend57 Why are you not writing more like you used to?