Help I need some advice.

originally posted by: TerryMcGuire
a reply to: Lumenari

Of course people still have a right to post questions and ask for response, just as others have the right to comment as truthfully as they can and others have the right to be incensed over that response.

I don't think that "incensed" means what you think it means, for starters...

Your comment to the OP was just a crappy post attempting to put the OP down.

All I did was point that out... not exactly what I would call "incensed", although I am pretty sure that's what you are fantasizing about right now.

Do you have any actual input on the OP based on some sort of life experience, as we are doing?

Or do you have any experience in the topic at all?

a reply to: Lumenari

Solid advice

originally posted by: Lumenari

originally posted by: TerryMcGuire
a reply to: Lumenari

Of course people still have a right to post questions and ask for response, just as others have the right to comment as truthfully as they can and others have the right to be incensed over that response.

I don't think that "incensed" means what you think it means, for starters...

Your comment to the OP was just a crappy post attempting to put the OP down.

All I did was point that out... not exactly what I would call "incensed", although I am pretty sure that's what you are fantasizing about right now.

Do you have any actual input on the OP based on some sort of life experience, as we are doing?

Or do you have any experience in the topic at all?

Maybe mildly incensed. Better?

You may think that reply to a plea for ''help'' was crappy, and that is a right accorded to all on this anonymous site. And even as that is true, your bald assumption that it was intended to ''put down'' the OP is only that, an assumption.

If one is not willing to listen to ''advice'' that only helps make themselves feel better about themselves, then it is not advice they are seeking it's affirmation and that is not what OP requested.

originally posted by: Liquidiron
a reply to: JAGStorm
The way she looks at me hits different. I’ve only
felt it once before with a gal I use to date who passed away this past spring. I do enjoy the good times we have and love spending time with her but, the bad is rough. Every time she drinks she gets mean. I’ve been trying to work through these issues as I’m not someone who gives up easy. She’s told me a few times that I’m her dream man. I’ve made some very small mistakes that really blew up into something major. I don’t want to feel like I’m walking on eggshells. Family members have warned me and told me she’s crazy but, I really do love her. She’s told me she loves me but it seems really easy for her to just cut me out of things with no feelings at all about it. Maybe I’m just over thinking it. It’s just perplexing to me as a man how my feelings can be so dependent on how someone else feels and I need to learn how to separate that. Now that I think of it I’ve never been in a healthy relationship. It’s probably best I talk to a counselor

NO! Dude! Get her joining in on things you do and then thank her for her help.

Make her cook dinner and pick three good things and one bad thing to say about what she serves you.

Sometimes women enjoy playing up and being disciplined for transgression.

a reply to: Liquidiron

She sounds like a predatory woman that punces on good guys eager to please. I have seen and run into too many.
They do not like me very much because i lay it down to a lady when she gets out of line, like drinking heavily and becoming verbally/psychologically abusive.

If your pleading with us online, it is because you lack the confidence to tell her what for despite your best efforts to please. Papa LiquidFe needz to raise his pimp hand and put her in place once the drinkingg starts, or just move on to a nicer lady. I suggest bookstores. If your a charming fellow its easy to bull# your way into a conversation with a woman browsing by herself. Now i did say If your charming. If your a bumbling dork with words and not feeling very confident, you will just earn the creep stare with the slow step away towards any other human she believes may at least be a witness in any attempt you may make to kidnap and taxidermy her.

Obviously only maniacs like myself would kidnap and taxidermy a stranger, but that is just how a modern woman will perceive you if you try to awkwardly continue a failed attempt at connecting after an initial go.

a reply to: Liquidiron

Others have given you some good advice about your lady friend... I'm going to give you some advice about you: Start a relationship with yourself.

Be selfish in the best way. Be your own soulmate and best friend for a while and forget about dating anyone. Get to know yourself better. Do nice things for yourself. Take yourself places you enjoy and enjoy it by yourself. Learn where and how you need to discipline yourself, and where you need to better express yourself. Explore your own strengths and make them stronger. Explore your own weaknesses and make them a strength.

Make 2022 your "ME" year. Cater to yourself. Write all of this angst and frustration and wondering down in a letter to yourself and then tuck it away. Write down your worst fears and your greatest hopes. Then in a year, take that letter to yourself out and see where you are then, what you've learned about yourself and others and the world. Consider where you were and where you've gotten to. Then you can reconsider, regroup, and move forward with new knowledge and power.

We are all a work in progress, and always will be as long as we're here. Make the best and most of yourself. Then you will be in a better position to find the right person -- the best person -- to complement who YOU are. And you will be in a better position to complement that person and help her be her best and her most.

a reply to: Liquidiron

Run.
Run now.

Having a partner that can go form hot to cold like nothing happened will guarantee you a life of drama and gaslighting…

Just run.

Nobody else smells an introvert? Well, I sure do. Op's a solid introvert, I betcha, takes one to spot one. Don't care to rock that boat much, go with the flow for ease, don't want to make too much noise & garner attention, etc, am I right, OP?

Would I be too out there to presume the girlfriend is a raging extrovert regardless of baggage issues?

This reeks of a personality mismatch, man. Opposite attract and compliment each other, yes, but there's acceptions to every rule -- not EVERY color in the Crayola box goes well together, if you catch my drift. There's other folks out there, don't sell yourself short settling for a drunk who hurts you on purpose, jeez. This sets up a co-dependent relationship style called abuser-enabler. I doubt you're morally comfortable being the latter.

The right one will come along at some point. Just keep your eyes peeled within your OWN interests, and don't fall for that "You gotta get out of the comfort box!" bullcrap -- it doesn't work well for us introverts.

Also, by keeping eyes peeled, I don't mean drop one-liners at everything cute & try hard, I mean just idle Chatter chat with people who share interests more often at places you frequent. In other words, get to know the other regulars as at least occasional acquaintances, they may surprise you.


Basically how I approached the dating scene, and there was no effort involved, really.

a reply to: Liquidiron

I am sorry that you are going through a hard time. My advice...live alone, get rid of the alcohol, go to a support group, and cultivate a solid relationship with yourself.

I f someone does not treat you the way you should be treated...walk away....you are a good man and you be good to you; you deserve someone who accepts you as you are and who is into self-improvement too; who is living a healthy life or at least heading towards one.

You are always with you; be your own best friend.

Asking an online community of bots, lunatics, conspiracy nuts, crazies and trolls is probably not the best way forward with relationship problems.

originally posted by: infiniteMeow
Asking an online community of bots, lunatics, conspiracy nuts, crazies and trolls is probably not the best way forward with relationship problems.

Post longer than a month, and you'd be surprised. A few folks have even paired off as S/Os/spouses thanks to a community of bots, lunatics, conspiracy nuts, crazies and trolls.

originally posted by: infiniteMeow
Asking an online community of bots, lunatics, conspiracy nuts, crazies and trolls is probably not the best way forward with relationship problems.

Not sure how long you’ve been here. This place give the absolute best advice.

Maybe the lunatics, conspiracy nuts, crazies and trolls are more honest than the outside world these days.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
Not sure how long you’ve been here. This place give the absolute best advice.

You should definitely do that butter knife in the electrical outlet thing we discussed.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: JAGStorm
Not sure how long you’ve been here. This place give the absolute best advice.

You should definitely do that butter knife in the electrical outlet thing we discussed.

I’m not going anywhere near your behind!

originally posted by: Nyiah

originally posted by: infiniteMeow
Asking an online community of bots, lunatics, conspiracy nuts, crazies and trolls is probably not the best way forward with relationship problems.

Post longer than a month, and you'd be surprised. A few folks have even paired off as S/Os/spouses thanks to a community of bots, lunatics, conspiracy nuts, crazies and trolls.

ewww breeding witches pets. That's disgusting.

a reply to: Lumenari

You're a treasure.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: JAGStorm
Not sure how long you’ve been here. This place give the absolute best advice.

You should definitely do that butter knife in the electrical outlet thing we discussed.

Did that with a toaster once, man it hurt, could only see white/yellow and i ran from one end of the house to the other about ten times before i calmed down and realized that i am not dead.


But as for the OP, would have to say that stay away from people who get crazy with alcohol, its a neverending story.

a reply to: Liquidiron

The only person you can depend on or shape is yourself, learn to love and understand yourself then you don't need dependence on others.

It's that simple, relationships will come and go, the person looking back at you in the mirror will never change.

a reply to: infiniteMeow

I'll have you know ATS has been here for me through a divorce and many failed relationships.

.....


You might be onto something.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

The famous one has spoken on my post I feel honored.

One thing I’ve learned in the past few weeks folks is, I need to learn to love my self. I spent 3 years in total seclusion in the woods at my cabin back home in the U.P. I was very happy but have always enjoyed having a companion.
I don’t like to give up on people and we both can grow and learn things together. ATS has been a cove of enjoyment along with many other things. Long time lurker and made a account a while back thanks everyone