a reply to:
SwampFox999
You can't find happiness by clinging to another bipedal entity, and this is just life's way of waking you up to that realization.
No matter what you have with someone, and how good it feels to hug that someone, you are not a 'unit' together with that someone, and things can go
south any second, no matter how happy you think you are.
Relationship is just another form of materialism desperately used to try to get spiritual satisfaction. Obviously, it's doomed to fail. It has a
strong allure and powerful, albeit short-lived rewards. The long-run misery is usually not worth it, and thus, the juice is not worth the squeeze.
If you compare people that are married, and people who are not married - either can be completely miserable, but I would bet that the married people
have the ability to be just that much more miserable, because in addition to their deeper loneliness, they also do not have time to figure out who
they are, or learn anything important about themselves, because they were fear-motivated when they decided to cling to some other bipedal entity, that
has their own weaknesses and faults.
People come to this world alone, and leave this world alone. It's a good idea to get familiar and comfortable with being by yourself without anyone
else's distractions. You can't do inner exploration or meditate if there are constant distractions and interruptions.
Solitude is valuable.
Most people are afraid to be alone, because they know they will be in bad company.
If you look at the biggest geniuses of this world, you will find one thing in common; they were not married.
Relationships can be a fun ride for awhile, and give valuable experiences and insight, but in the end, you have to be OK and comfortable in existence
by yourself without clinging to anyone else. Only then you can even have healthy relationships.
You can only have true relationship and be balanced in a relationship, if you are ready to let go and leave that relationship every second, because
you don't need the relationship, you are enough by yourself.
It's a lovely idea that you can have a romance, 'us vs. the world', to together explore the world and face and discover all kinds of things together.
Sadly, it almost never happens (I don't know about same-gender relationships, though), because women and men have very different interests in the end,
and pursuing an interest that you are not interested in, is not interesting, and it shows.
I know this probably doesn't help in the short-term emotional turmoil, but in the long run, if you can internalize this wisdom, it can help in a
profound way.
'You will die alone' is something some people say when they want to hurt someone maximally. Ironically, we all die alone, even if you die
simultaneously with someone, your experience will be unique and individual, not shared. It's like if you fall asleep together with someone, your
experience won't be shared, it will be individual.
So no one can really die 'together' - why would anyone even think this would be possible? (Not that death exists for more than the body)
Let's think about the opposite; you die in a massive crowd. How is that better?
Also, why would it matter 'how you die'? It's like 'how you fall asleep', you are going to be dreaming anyway, what difference does it make whether
someone was near you at the moment of falling asleep?
I would much rather die alone in a doghouse than die on some fancy bed surrounded by 200 people.
Do some people dream of dying on some concert stage observed by 10000 people? I don't see this as a fun way to die. To me, death is private, intimate,
personal, like going to a toilet.
(Yes, it's a toilet, not a 'washroom', not a 'bathroom', not a 'restroom', not a 'powder room')
Why would anyone want to, excuse my crudity, 'take a dump surrounded by people'?
No words can help with the pain, but if you can realize the pain is like fire that burns away the unnecessary and you will emerge from it later like a
Phoenix, maybe it will help psychologically to endure it.
Just don't try to 'fix it' by clinging to another bipedal entity, it will not help - alcohol will also only worsen things. See your true self and walk
in the nature, and learn to realize your self-worth without anyone else, you don't need someone's encouragement to know you are valuable.
Maybe you can learn to live your life respecting yourself and having fun by yourself instead of trying to bury your true self by clinging to someone
else that eventually will just cause you pain amidst brief moments of illusory pleasure.