Being frigid?

Just before I start, frigid means to like not touch your g/f for whatever reason. (Atleast that's what it means around here)

Ok...there are guys at my school right, and they are always like hugging their girls, touching them, etc.
But me...I can't do that, like with my g/f, the only time we like hold hands or anything is when other people are like "hold hands you two!".
I don't know why I can't make myself do it...I just find it hard, I guess I worry about how she would react. I really want to hold, etc my g/f but...ugh I just can't...

We are starting to get better...we hug when she has to leave and stuff...but we still don't do it real much...

I'm not sure...but my g/f might feel the same...the last guy she went out with lasted 3 bloody months and the ONLY time they ever talked was on MSN, they never (and I'm serious) ever talked face to face...but she didn't seem to mind...but what do I know...she might've just liked him that much she just put up with him.

Does anyone else find this?

Thanks for listening to me ramble on...

Yeah, i am not too physical either. I um, don't like having a girfriend. THis solved that problem. I like being a free man not limited by the female society.

That would solve the problem...but I like having a g/f...

Maybe you need to find a more agressive girl if you are the passive one. Would this work?

I'm not sure...if I went for a more aggresive girl they would probably want me to reciprocrate and be like them, and I'm not sure how that would go down...

wow! you are a shy one. Stop thinking that it matters. Just live your life. I know that this sounds stupid, but you care too much what others think. You need to relax and be yourself.

You should consider yourself lucky!! You're not intimate and either is she? awesome!! I always get crap for that. It's usually called being "distant." But, man, I just don't want to hug and hold all the time. snuggling sucks!! But alas, what you going to do? find a quiet woman? How hard is that? she'd probably be "special" or something? Or is it an oxymoron?

Okay, Okay...I am just messing around...please do not be offended by this assinine post. I actually do love women. In fact, I wish I was a lesbian.

dont worry yourself dude.....lol...its like that for lots of people...just be natural and chill out....theres no pressure...your only young and its good to take things slowly!....remember its supposed to be fun!

its all new to you both.....just enjoy each others company and if things are going to go further they will in their own time.

seriously youll be fine!

take care and good luck.

Try biting eachother!

You've gotta love yourself mang, don't be afraid to touch yourself and then you'll be up for being all grab happy, it's totally sweet, feel free to reach over and grab a hand full of hiney imo!!!!! IRL I MIGHT ADD


also I suggest my first post

and I'm spent!

ps: you gotta show yer lady you adore her and find her attrative and that at times you just can't keep your man paws off her!!!!

/roar

[edit on 20-5-2005 by Lysergic]

Originally posted by TK868
...the last guy she went out with lasted 3 bloody months and the ONLY time they ever talked was on MSN, they never (and I'm serious) ever talked face to face...but she didn't seem to mind...but what do I know...she might've just liked him that much she just put up with him.

Wow thats not good...i have a good friend in America that ive been talking to for nearly 3 years and we never talk face to face, obviously since i live in London! - so does that mean that we should be married or at least engaged by now?

I cant imagine not being all touchy-feely with my gf but the whole subject of intimacy depends on lots of factors; stage that u are at in ur relationship, compatability, mood etc etc
My friend struggled at the start of his relationship to even hug his gf when he met her so i know how adverse some people can be to touching in even the slightest way! then gradually as time progressed they have become two of the closest people i have ever known, sometimes its sickening lol

So stick with it and maybe u will surprise urself :-)

Stuka

lol! Lysergic, you ALWAYS crack me up, man. Funking funny stuff!

Aaanyway, to the OP. I was like you once... when I was about 10! I'm really not trying to be offensive but, dude, grow some man-grapes and show your lady you like her! Give her a hug every now and again, hold her hand whenever you two are walking together. Get physical! Show her that she is yours!

It sounds cheesy as hell and is proper cliché but make her feel like she the only person important in the room/area and the only person that matters in your life.

I'm not being rude but, how old are you (serious question)?

[edit on 28/7/08 by xeroxed88]

The best advice for ANY situation is TALK TO HER. See how she feels, and if it works it works.

Talk to her before you try anything funny you could end up pissing her off.

[edit on 31-7-2008 by caballero]

Personaly, i aplaud you for not being a Show-Off...

I mean, it realy sickens me sometimes, seeing people ALL_OVER EACH other in public... Thats just wroung... we dont need to see that, 2 people all over each other, groping, and fondeling, and making kissing sounds and such...

YUK...

We dont need to see that.... i mean, do you realy need to publicly show that 'she' is yours by holding onto her ass the whole time...

Dont feel bad because you arent imitating the perverts around you...

Originally posted by Lysergic
You've gotta love yourself mang, don't be afraid to touch yourself and then you'll be up for being all grab happy, it's totally sweet, feel free to reach over and grab a hand full of hiney imo!!!!! IRL I MIGHT ADD


also I suggest my first post

and I'm spent!

ps: you gotta show yer lady you adore her and find her attrative and that at times you just can't keep your man paws off her!!!!

/roar

[edit on 20-5-2005 by Lysergic]

Dayum Lys LOL

OP- I dont think everybody likes all the huggy kissy stuff. IF she knows you are just not like that and understands that you are attracted to her but just are not the cuddly type it will be fine. She would probably be harassing you already if it bothered her that much. I find that people who need a lot of positive reinforcement from others are bothered by the standoffish people, but most of us understand. You are OK. we all have different confort zones.

reply to post by TK868


i have sort of the same problemim not scared to touch/hug me g/f but im to scared to snogg her all my mates have snogged a girl but im to scared

im to scared to kiss someone coz i think its going to go wrong.no one will go out with me because of it(frigidness)please help me to get over it.

hmm it takes time mate. Obviously your young and new to this relationship thing. I started off in your shoes only because I was chasing another girl and instead of seeing where that went, I went out with a girl who liked me. I didn't like her back and the relationship broke down and we became friends and understood what we really wanted from each other. We then spent 5 years together till last year we broke it off because I couldn't trust her anymore.. anyways --->

a bit of alcohol always helps the situation. hahaha

For the British impaired...."Snogging" is basically makeout kissing...

OP, ever consider that you may have some issues being affectionate? Did you grow up in an affectionate home? If your parents didn't show much physical affection, it's likely why you feel the same...you're simply used to it.

I'm not saying to make a spectacle of yourself, but a little hand-holding and hugging goes a long way...but just ease into it. It's just weird if it's not sincere... Maybe an arm on her shoulder as you're walking together, etc. No need for the "snogfest", but I'll have to agree with another when I say show her that you care.