What is there for a young man these days...

Hello ATS,

Just yesterday I went to a concert outside to brave the Michigan Elements (low 50's and rain) to see my first concert of the Covid Era.

It was a great show, all things considered, however today, as predicted (It was impossible to deny this would happen) I have gotten a sore throat.

Now I have taken plenty of airborne, some echinacea tea, and after getting out of work at a late hour, my final bastion against any cold... A bottle of bourbon.

A few sips in, and I can't help but reflect on myself and what's to come.

I realize the majority of individuals here are past my age and level of experience, however I am curious.

I consider myself, whether right or wrong, to have a certain understanding of the world, and how things are. I would also consider myself a generally positive person.

Though as of late, I find myself not only questioning my purpose here, on this planet, but where I am going...

All things considered I am doing fairly well for myself, I am not very materialistic, but I do enjoy certain things in this life, I have an interest in cars, and a project car I take considerable pride in.

I also happen to be a fan of music and collecting music, mainly music that has been around for a few decades at this point.

Ranging from the deep blues and soul, to classic rock and jazz. I myself, have tried to create music, though nothing I am satisfied with. It could be argued I am still and always learning, that I just require more patience...

Playing live was a big drive for me for a while, and project after project failed. Surely due to my own ego, and trying to please everyone involved, an impossible task.

Lately, I've taken more responsibility for my vision, though the progress is slow, the vision muddy, and unclear. I continue on. . .

However I cannot help but feel helpless, feel that this project/vision/journey I am taking on is a pointless endeavor.

I see that the world is closing down around me, I feel it is more dangerous to feel the way I feel. Will I even get a chance to share what I create if I deem it worthwhile?

I sense that I am far away from the goal I hope to reach, which isn't ludicrous by any means, I really just want to discover a way to make ends meet on my own terms.

I can't help but feel alone in what I'm trying to do. I want to believe in myself, surely. To prove myself as a someone who can get organized, and disciplined, and willful.

However I always catch myself either moving backwards, or staying stagnant.

Tech doesn't interest me, I have been shying away for years.

One day, I would hope to have children, but in this current climate, social, political, and otherworldly, seems like a stupid task. I have certain criteria I would like met. If I were to ever see this through, I would want to be around and involved as much as possible.

It just feels like all these doors are closing around me, that I am running out of time.

I am stuck.

Interacting with other like minded individuals is always a pleasure, but they are becoming far and few between in "the real world"

I have people I go to the bar with occasionally, but I seldom share the true nature of my mind, and what's going on.

I love the people I see, as I have slimmed the number of individuals I have continuous contact with. However, I recognize that I am not meant to share, I am meant to listen, and absorb the feelings of those around, while helping in any way I can.

It just seems that things are headed in a direction that I really don't want a part of.

I've thought about how it would be if I had a voice in the masses... I recognize not only the amount of work it would take, but that I would likely be shut down before any impact was made. It seems the world is over-saturated with individuals who are on the fringe, and breaking through to any mainstream advantage would be impossible.

Thinking this way, I try to empathize with others in my age range, and what they are doing. It almost seems blissful. A certain nonchalance of living within a shrouded awareness.

I guess my overall question is, what would some of you be doing now, if you were in your 20's again?

If you were living through the certain destruction of privacy, and freedom... The certain abolishment of individualization and uniqueness.

Where would you look for purpose?

Creation of something worthwhile seems my only hope, yet I can't see my own progress, I can't see myself becoming anything other than what I am.

That is a person who understands the plight of modern living, who watches it all unfold with a knowing, and who can't stand to be a part of it.

What would you do ATS? What would you sacrifice?



End Rant. What a suitable forum.
Looking forward to any replies at all.
For me, this is a simple release...
Almost a note to self.

Like I told my daughters from professor Donald Henley who said and I quote "Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy".

Maybe my generation didn't take enough issues seriously, but damn now everything just seems so serious I guess it's good in some ways and not so good in others.

I'll also impart some wisdom from my father (RIP) Why are you worrying about things you can't control, take care of what you can do something about. Be the best at that, it is your foundation.


Secondly most times it is never as bad as it seems nor is it good as it seems.

Twenty something can be a hard age just as going through the Teen years can be on some. Many will set the religious beliefs at that age until something better comes along unless it was set earlier.

Life's goals and looking about at what you want to do is tough on those who did not know at an earlier age where they wanted to head career wise.

If you want to do music find people who play and are interested in your style because members tend to come up with ideas you might never have thought of. I put myself through school playing guitar in a rock and roll band for 7 years and those are memories I do not ever want to forget.

Most people fall into an occupation because they have to eat so they stay the course even though a rather large percentage of workers dislike/hate their jobs. Ever hear of mid life crises; they wake up and realize their life is half over and have not done ?????????????? I was never that way as I actually liked what I did and considered myself good at it. One thing I will say about music is it is a tough life as everyone I started playing with has been dead for several years. Up all night and sleep all day is not a healthy way to live your life IMO plus having a good paying gig today is not the way it was way back when (again my opinion).

Another thing is sometimes it is not what you know but who you know that point you in a direction that is both money making and rewarding. Having a destination and always working towards that destination or desired goals is another thing many will say... Kinda hard when you do not have a road map..... You will work it out for yourself one way or the other and as always good luck.

Just remember that your true purpose in this world is spiritual and not physical. This world is temporary and the only question worth asking is who we are and why are we here. I don’t pretend to know all the answers and only you can answer those questions for yourself.

Bottom line is don’t try to fit in to this physical world and instead be yourself, value your relationships and your kindness towards others and seek your truth.

Ah, the "is this it, is this all it is" question. I hit that, a lot of people do around their late 20's.
Bob Geldolf, of Live Aid and the Boomtown Rats fame, wrote an excellent book on the subject titled "is this it"

When we're kids its always 'when i grow up im gonna be/do......'
Then when you are grown up and it hasn't happened like you'd imagined, then the questioning starts. Which is where i feel the op is at now.
What i have learnt, is that money is freedom. Money doesn't solve everything but it gives one the freedom to do what one wants in life. To a certain extent of course.
If you are good at something stick with it, if you are stagnating with something but you have a talent for it, it will work itself out. Patience.
Do what makes you happy. Dont live your life trying to please others if you are not pleasing yourself.
As for whats going on in the World right now and watching it all go to crap. Ride it out. You cant change whats happening. The players are way too big and powerful.
Look after number one, always. Its the long term to happiness in my opinion. Do what makes you happy, you deserve it.

Though as of late, I find myself not only questioning my purpose here, on this planet, but where I am going...

My personal philosophy : One does not know where they are going until they get there.
Exactly the way I plan vacations .

As far as your musical aspirations go, it is hard trying to find the right guys to form a band. And even harder to find the right guys when you have direction and music in your head that you want to create. My suggestion is do it all yourself. I started out with a four-track cassette recorder and played all the parts myself and sang all the voices. Then I graduated to computer software that would allow me to do the same thing. Lately, I've been digitizing my old four-track masters and putting them online. The whole process is very rewarding, because you can produce the sound you want to match your vision.

a reply to: AnnihilateThis

Live for the moment and don’t dwell on the past or try to control your future, things tend to work themselves out no matter how much you worry or try and shape your path. Very few people find themselves in the position they planned, life tends to fork into the unknown, it’s more fun that way.

As for music, IMO the best bands and musicians are the ones who break the mould and trend, who go balls to the wall and put their heart and soul out there no matter what. Forget what other people want to hear, express yourself.

The darkness will pass and again the light will shine on this world, of that I have no doubt. Stay safe, stay strong and never give up or let the pressures of the world bend your will or morals. Also try to be kind to people along the way and make sure the ones you love know it.

About all the advice I can offer, you seem like a clever guy so don’t worry you’ll be fine.

The world is what you make of it!

originally posted by: Metallicus
Just remember that your true purpose in this world is spiritual and not physical. This world is temporary and the only question worth asking is who we are and why are we here. I don’t pretend to know all the answers and only you can answer those questions for yourself.

Bottom line is don’t try to fit in to this physical world and instead be yourself, value your relationships and your kindness towards others and seek your truth.

Damn Metallicus dropping truth bombs as they say...

One must be content with themselves before one can be content with others.

a reply to: AnnihilateThis

You’ve got some very good advice from the other members here, Annihilate. My advice: listen to SecretKnowledge—“ Dont live your life trying to please others if you are not pleasing yourself.”

I lived most of my life trying to please others by trying to be what I thought THEY thought they wanted me to be…a high-ranking diplomat, a CEO. None of it worked out for reasons beyond my control. I was miserable because I felt I was letting them down. The thing is, neither of the people I wanted to please most would ever be satisfied, no matter what I did. That’s why it’s important to please yourself and shrug off expectations that may never be met. You don’t have to be a jerk about it. But you may have to adjust your living standards—a key concept—and pursue what makes you happy. It’s YOUR life and no-one else’s.

I got a break late in life (my 40’s). I got a job that checked almost all the boxes on my list; compared to my previous expectations, the job was not glamorous but paid well and gave me a ton of time with my family. I was never happier!
Hope this helps.

Who needs vacation when your living the dream.

a reply to: Gothmog

and then sometimes it can really be said in a meme... hell it was the 9/11 aftermath that got me posting instead of just lurking

a reply to: AnnihilateThis

First of all, clearly you are more intelligent than most 20 year old's. I look back on my 20's and I doubt I would have been able to compose such a 'stream of consciousness'. And, just maybe, part of the answer you seek is contained in just that notion. However, before going there I want to tell you what popped into my head as I read your OP.

About 1/3rd of the way into reading your OP a song popped into my head, and as I read on the song kept getting more and more prominent. At first I couldn't even remember who the artist was, or even the name of the song exactly.

In 1979, the pop musical artist, Kenny Loggins, released the lead single to an album called 'Keep the Fire'. It was co-written and co-performed by Michael McDonald of Doobie Brothers fame. The song, 'This is it, was about his father and a personal struggle Loggins was going through at the time related to his father's health. While it may not seem related, the lyrics and theme of the song mirror your OP almst exactly! Hopefully, you are not dealing with an ailing father, but Loggins' lyrics were as much about his own personal struggle as they were a message he wanted to scream out to the world (and his father). The message, one of finding your way, of everyone finding their way despite life's challenges, was one of hope.

You might take a moment to listen to this song and see if it doesn't encapsulate some of what you are feeling. I will post a link to it at the end.

If I were to rewind my life back to my 20's now, given the current circumstances, and examine how I likely would have operated (based on my personality of course). The way I rolled in my 20's was...700mph with my hair on fire, 24x7x365! By the time I was 27, at my first HS reunion, I looked around at all my friends and saw many of them had slowed way down (to 45mph in a 55mph zone). It seemed like some of them had intentionally tried to become 'old'. Many had kids, and wives, and talked about going to PTA meetings or mowing the lawn. It was like they had just given up. The rest of their lives would be just another day of the same. For them, that was it; that was their end-game. I decided in that moment I wasn't like them, I wasn't giving up. In fact, I was just getting started!

Today, with covid, and all the other doom & gloom spewed about by the mainstream and social media it's hard to see a reason to fight. I get that. But the alternative is...this is it. Then the walls will continue to close in until there is no point left in living. You're only going to get one shot at it, this thing called life, and only you can make it worthwhile...to you. Stand up and fight! Be selfish about it if you have to; this is YOUR life, dammit, and you should get to live it!

a reply to: AnnihilateThis

My 20's were all about playing music.
I gigged as a bassplayer, a guitar player and a drummer.
At 1 point I was in 3 different bands and had many sleepless nights.

Throw yourself into it and enjoy the ride.
You're only going to be this age once....don't waste it, go live life.
You NEVER want to be THAT guy....the guy who has regrets.

Go get inspired!!
My message box is always open if you need an ear.

I read all of your post and I could write pages about some sentences you dropped, so I only picked a few. My head is a bit foggy from a medical procedure before so bear with me please if I go off tangents. I try my best.

Creation of something worthwhile seems my only hope, yet I can't see my own progress, I can't see myself becoming anything other than what I am.

You can always create smiles, instant progress recognize.

If you were living through the certain destruction of privacy, and freedom... The certain abolishment of individualization and uniqueness.

Where would you look for purpose?

In myself. Was at that point after loosing my family, having to change social surrounding after being adopted and got ridiculed a lot (outed) and also for how I speak and other disabilities. I was in dark places with my mind.

It got better after I found something I am really good at. Ironically, or rather a psychologic tell, it was the thing I was scared the most. I would not sit in a car, no one would get me in one while being conscious. I walked home from hospital on crutches (it was stupid) instead of sitting inside and be driven home.

When I finally overcame the fear, I kind of overshot the goal because now I was driving in races and stand my ground even. Which isn't healthy either. Guys in front of me were so concerned they started to make nervous mistakes when they noticed me in their rear mirror.

It had to almost double my age to finally overcome my shackles, hidden insecurities. What the gist of this is, sorry getting down a tangent about me, but I think it's better to write about personal experiences instead of telling you what to do.

What summarizes my post is, you see you can't force some things. Some lessons you have to learn, some lessons you thought you learned will be undone by other lessons in life.



Life is like the ocean, full of unknown and spontaneous things happening that you can't control, foresee or force. It's how we navigate it, is what decides what shore we land at, and if we settle there, or go look for other places and experiences.

You're so young still (34 here), enjoy your life and don't overthink too much, like I often did and still do. You never know when life comes at you in both positive or negative ways. Someone I value very much once told me after # came raining down on me, that I will be fine. And he was right.

Grenade wrote similar.

Wish you the best

a reply to: AnnihilateThis

I can't help but feel alone in what I'm trying to do. I want to believe in myself, surely. To prove myself as a someone who can get organized, and disciplined, and willful. However I always catch myself either moving backwards, or staying stagnant.

You’re not alone in this. Being disciplined and wilful isn’t easy so set aside time in your life for a daily practice. This could be yoga, tia chi, or something else along those lines the main thing is you are conditioning the body and in doing so you also condition the mind. Forget about goals and targets and such and simply set up a routine and stick to it.

Creating something worthwhile is subjective, and it’s hard to see progress when your mind is fixed on end results. Instead you need to be in moment, be present with whatever endeavour you are working on.

The main thing is sticking with whatever your passionate about, if you enjoy it then it’s surely worth doing for its own sake and not some imagined end result.

You say young man, yes?
Are you Strong, body AND mind?
Are you Healthy?
Can you get out of your own head when things get rough?
Do you Enjoy amusement rides?
Can you stay awake for long periods?
Do you enjoy getting wet?
Can you be away from Mommy and Daddy for multiple days?
If you have a relationship with someone can you spend two weeks or more at a stretch away from that person?
Are you a hard worker?
Can you stay focused and follow orders?
Are you a team player?
Do you enjoy being around and working with MEN who are strong in both mind and body?
Can you take a joke?
Do you agree that quitting is not in your makeup?
Would you like to make as much as $300,000 or more a year?
Are you fascinated by, or love the Sea?
Does the thought of bulldozing the way to your own future, own success intrigue you?


If you answer YES to all of this I may have a great idea for you.

Become a Commercial Offshore Scallop Fisherman.

And finally, after all this, can your minds eye see you as a someday Captain and Owner of a 100+ foot boat leading men far offshore to experience the beauty, awe, magnificence and....the terror that awaits you at Sea?

YES???????

If this grabs you, truly grabs you, PM me, I can help guide you.

Sign me.....A retired Offshore Commercial Fisherman who knows he would have made a bad-ass Pirate in the 17th Century......😎



.





a reply to: AnnihilateThis

Man I would have killed for Tinder back in the day. You yunguns got it made.

a reply to: AnnihilateThis

I would follow my passion and hope for the best, and give it a reasonable amount of time before eliminating the idea or notion. You’d certainly know better than I where to draw any line.

I’m about twice your age and feel the same way. Hopeless. But humanity must win this battle. It’s about our compromised history and how this false history will erase our people and future.

Giving up is always an option, too late is better than too early, I’d hate to give up too early. I tell every one I can about the dangers of past and current events, it’s my duty as a responsible human being.

Intelligent as I may be, or not, I’m ostracized by society for conspiratorial misinformation and racial prejudice. Of course I do have a strong desire to be on the right side of history, and I understand the consequence of “letting things go”.

I’ve given purpose (of life) decades of thought. Used to think it was a silly or unanswerable question. Our purpose would seem, to become aware. Spirituality is awareness, an we haven’t enough to make any meaningful change or difference.



Free Will - good choice!

a reply to: AnnihilateThis

I guess my overall question is, what would some of you be doing now, if you were in your 20's again?

I’d be wearing a bikini and high heels 24/7….

On a serious note I think we are meant to go through the steps of life in a certain order so we don’t hurt ourselves or others or society. The knowledge in an old persons mind would be VERY dangerous in a young persons body/energy.

Thinking back to my 20s, I think I was way too nice. You mentioned you are guilty of wanting to please everyone too. I would have tried to please myself more (Ok that sounded weird). If your friends don’t bring out the true you, they are probably not really good friends or you are not letting yourself be vulnerable enough around them.
That is something else you learn as you get old. It is ok to have few friends, but they are all your ride or die.

Most importantly, enjoy being young, don’t worry so much about tomorrow. If you love music pour your heart into it.
Don’t worry about being successful. Have fun! Have fun! Have fun!