COVID’s Other Casualty

We’re all very aware of Covid’s purported and real effects, from the improbable, off-the -wall conspiracies to the all-too-real and ultimate consequence: the death of friends, relatives and coworkers.

What I want to discuss is the effect it’s having on those who find themselves in a ‘mixed marriage’—where one spouse is absolutely terrified of the virus and will tolerate NO dissenting view, and the other spouse [me] is furious at the lack of civil discussion or a mutual and respectful exploration of just what the hell is happening.

Case in point: I just had an argument (so to speak) with my wife about quarantine. I bristle at the thought that my 18 year old son will have to isolate in his dorm room, undergo a test administered by the college and, if he’s positive for the virus, undergo quarantine for five days in an unspecified location on campus before he can attend his first day. Shouldn’t we quarantine the sick and not the healthy? What effect can this have on a young mind? These and other questions go un-asked for the simple reason that my wife knows two people (both with comorbidities) who’ve ‘died from COVID’, and a mutual friend whose parents are purportedly sick with it and may not survive; she goes ballistic and reminds me of these deaths whenever I complain about lockdowns, quarantines or openly doubt how deadly the disease is for the average person.

Here’s my question: Has anyone experienced this in their life and if so, successfully diffused the situation to both parties satisfaction? I imagine this must be pretty widespread…

I would tell Edith to stifle herself.

Then run...

The odds of a young adult dying are beyond insane. If she can't comprehend that fact then yeah, you have reached an impasse. You will feel miserable the rest of your life until you exit the insanity. I know this is hard but that is the only way. They either snap the hell out of it or they do not. Either way you do not lose your mind. Only them.

Living outside my home country and into an interracial marriage with complete different thoughts of self-discipline of common sense of self-respect, I can say whatever this master plan of killing the emotions of love for each other is going to be more dangerous to us then the fake china virus.

a reply to: Thoughtcrime

My wife works with people who are fairly terrified of covid, so she's been somewhat scared, not so much recently, but around Christmas time and for a few months before that. Not so much scared for herself, but scared of everyone she cares about dying.

We don't argue about it or anything. We've talked about it a bunch. I just try as much as I can to reassure her that, basically, everyone either of us cares about and loves who is alive is not in the at risk age group for covid. Her parents are in their 50's, they're healthy and in good shape, my dad's a little older, but still not in the at risk age group and doesn't have any underlying health conditions that would cause any severe complications. Her grandmother, who's in her late 70's, got covid and was fine. I have no grandparents left, my wife's only got her grandmother.

When she gets worried we'll just look up some numbers and stuff and talk about things. She's smart. She worked in the medical industry for almost a decade and the clinic she worked in prior to covid for over 5 years dealt with people who had some fairly dangerous and contagious diseases who were not always the most sound of mind or sober. The doctor she worked for is one of the top specialists in his field, he's a good doctor, he refused to be there when the drug reps would show up with their free bribe lunches, instead he'd go over to the children's hospital to see some of his patients there.

He's probably one of the most high quality, genuinely actually caring doctors i've ever met.

She still keeps in contact with her old coworkers and the doctor. He, does not buy into any of this. Recommends against the vaccine for those not in the most severe at risk categories and just generally, doesn't # around.

That tends to help my wife worry less and such.

Heh...on the first day since November we were allowed to not wear masks in stores...she was terrified...I dared her though...go on do it...don't wear the mask...she got all giddy and happy and only wears the mask for work now, because rules.

originally posted by: Thoughtcrime

…………….
I bristle at the thought that my 18 year old son will have to isolate in his dorm room, undergo a test administered by the college and, if he’s positive for the virus, undergo quarantine for five days in an unspecified location on campus before he can attend his first day. Shouldn’t we quarantine the sick and not the healthy?
……..

If he tests positive for the virus he would be sick. That’s why he would be quarantined. Not sure you’ve thought this out.

I will throw my 2 cents in. My fiance and I have been together 11 years. And bought a home together back in '17. We generally don't fight a ton, a few biggies but nothing we haven't been able to work out. Not to get to personal but we have been through some situations that normally a relationship doesnt make it through. So to say we have a strong bond is an understatement.
Politically we are more or less the same. If you had to label our politics they woumd be libertarian. We view the virus and shenanigans surrounding it the same.
Here's the kicker since the lockdowns really got underway with both is and the kids being home we have had some serious fights. A few times resulting in one of us staying elsewhere for a couple days...cant really explain it. We have discussed these situations to the point of exhaustion. And we cant for the life of us figure out the cause of these blow ups....any ideas?
I've known a few couples in either your or my situation....its flipping insidious if you ask me.

originally posted by: SwampFox999
I will throw my 2 cents in. My fiance and I have been together 11 years. And bought a home together back in '17. We generally don't fight a ton, a few biggies but nothing we haven't been able to work out. Not to get to personal but we have been through some situations that normally a relationship doesnt make it through. So to say we have a strong bond is an understatement.
Politically we are more or less the same. If you had to label our politics they woumd be libertarian. We view the virus and shenanigans surrounding it the same.
Here's the kicker since the lockdowns really got underway with both is and the kids being home we have had some serious fights. A few times resulting in one of us staying elsewhere for a couple days...cant really explain it. We have discussed these situations to the point of exhaustion. And we cant for the life of us figure out the cause of these blow ups....any ideas?
I've known a few couples in either your or my situation....its flipping insidious if you ask me.

Fights = physical violence
If you resulted to that stage, I have no respect for you.

Remember words of insults are etched into the minds that you insult.

Also, remember if and when you insult someone, you'll have an enemy for life


Please , if you insulted your lady , ask her for forgiveness. That is the freshness of a thrust of saying you are sorry.

a reply to: musicismagic
I'd say there was more than a slight misinterpretation. Nothing physical, I'll raise my voice that's about it. My lady does get quite insulting when we argue/fight whatever you want to call it. But she apologizes, as do I. Shes actually the "hothead" of the two of us haha. But as I said we are normally both quite even keeled. Its unlike either of us to be as miserable as we have been since about late summer of 2020.

a reply to: Thoughtcrime

My Husband and I are on the same page so to speak. No “vaccine” for us. We are bravely sending our child into the covid gauntlet of middle school. It is a mask/ vaccine optional school which I am more than happy with.

There is a poem by Dylan Thomas who I have always attributed to more of end of life; it seems more poignant now and maybe not so much end of life:

poets.org...

“Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

a reply to: Stupidsecrets

Food for thought. I know first-hand what you’re saying. Hopefully, this COVID insanity won’t last the rest of my life!

originally posted by: SwampFox999
a reply to: musicismagic
I'd say there was more than a slight misinterpretation. Nothing physical, I'll raise my voice that's about it. My lady does get quite insulting when we argue/fight whatever you want to call it. But she apologizes, as do I. Shes actually the "hothead" of the two of us haha. But as I said we are normally both quite even keeled. Its unlike either of us to be as miserable as we have been since about late summer of 2020.

the rhythm of love in our hearts is the foundation of truth in our marriage
thank you , you clearly understand that violence toward a wife leads to a broken heart of no return

a reply to: musicismagic

Agreed. I fear you may be right about “killing…the love for each other” as a part of any plan that may exist.

a reply to: 1947boomer

Sick with what, exactly—the cold? Do we quarantine people for a cold? The flu? And don’t bring up the Spanish Flu—that was a totally different beast.

Read the stats on morbidity/mortality from the CDC…99.87% survival rate for kids his age. Not sure you’ve thought this out, either.

a reply to: SwampFox999

“Insidious”…yeah! That’s exactly what it is.

You mentioned the lockdown and subsequent arguments/fights. Kids, both spouses at home…. Millions of others are in the same boat, for the same reason. Forgive my presumption, but it sounds more like Cabin Fever than any sort of fundamental disagreement for political reasons. Rugrats can have that effect!

originally posted by: Thoughtcrime
a reply to: Stupidsecrets

Food for thought. I know first-hand what you’re saying. Hopefully, this COVID insanity won’t last the rest of my life!

Thank you. I hope it does not. It will not end however until you stop the insanity. You either stop it or live with it. Not any harder than that and I know you are smart enough to understand this circumstance. End it or live with it.

originally posted by: 1947boomer

originally posted by: Thoughtcrime

…………….
I bristle at the thought that my 18 year old son will have to isolate in his dorm room, undergo a test administered by the college and, if he’s positive for the virus, undergo quarantine for five days in an unspecified location on campus before he can attend his first day. Shouldn’t we quarantine the sick and not the healthy?
……..

If he tests positive for the virus he would be sick. That’s why he would be quarantined. Not sure you’ve thought this out.

What are you even talking about boomer?

Let's look into the pcr tests shall we?
The whole thing is bs and needs shut down.
We are going to have to unite and do it ourselves.
Start on pcr test validity

once upon a time in wuhan

a reply to: musicismagic
Sorry, but what the hell does an interracial marrage have anything to do with this? Besides tyou want props for doing it maybe? I'm serious. Please explain to me how that has anything to do with this? Mixed breed children immune? Sex with other races makes you immune? Enlighten me