Ocular Rectitis

For quite some time now I have been suffering from a malady known as "Ocular Rectitis".

What is Ocular Rectitis, you ask? Well, Ocular Rectitis is when the nerves in your eyes get crossed up with the nerves in your ass and give you a generally sh**ty outlook on life and people in general.

Ocular Rectitis (OR) is a cruel affliction which can strike at any time. Flareups can last for weeks, or even months. There is no known cure for Ocular Rectitis. Alcohol can sometimes relieve some of the more severe symptoms, but alcohol can also cause aggravation of symptoms leading to psychotic episodes.

The drug Fukitol is currently the only known FDA approved treatment for OR. However, Fukitol also has many known side effects such as not showing up for work, not feeding the dog, and / or not listening to your wife, some of which can be fatal. Consult your doctor or psychiatrist to see if Fukitol might be right for you.

Discussion of the Wu-Flu and/or vaccines, real or imagined, is known to trigger severe OR flareups. Discussion about politics and/or social issues is another known trigger for psychotic OR episodes. Symptoms of Ocular Rectitis are generally similar to Tourettes syndrome with sufferers exhibiting random shouting of vulgar explicatives at inappropriate times in social settings. Other symptoms can include violent and obscene hand gestures towards others, loud strange noises and screaming. Mooning has been known to occur.

See your doctor if you think you or someone you know has OR. Help is available for this terrible disease.

That is all.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I suffer from this malady as well.

I think it's spreading, bro.

a reply to: MykeNukem

Oh, it's WAY more contagious than Delta Airlines!

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

How's the shoulder coming along?

a reply to: ketsuko

Much better. Thx. I'll send you a PM because I have a question for you.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Ahh yes, Fukitol - a godsend.

2 in the morning upon wakening. At around 1pm I can feel the caring kicking in - time for 2 more. Then 2 more at 7pm to ensure the victory into bedtime.

Thank god your Ocular Rectitis showed you the way to this magical medicine, Fukitol.

Now, it’s 8:45 on Sunday morning, where’s my effin beer?!

originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk
a reply to: MykeNukem

Oh, it's WAY more contagious than Delta Airlines!

*makes violently obscene hand gesture.

I fully agree.

originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk
For quite some time now I have been suffering from a malady known as "Ocular Rectitis".

What is Ocular Rectitis, you ask? Well, Ocular Rectitis is when the nerves in your eyes get crossed up with the nerves in your ass and you wind up with a generally sh**ty outlook on life and people in general.

Sounds like a symptom of the WuFlu "pandemic" to me.

'Fukitol', lol that's brilliant! I need some of this, the side effects are funny, dangerous and true lol

Would give you mucho stars for this if I could

originally posted by: MykeNukem

originally posted by: Flyingclaydisk
a reply to: MykeNukem

Oh, it's WAY more contagious than Delta Airlines!

*makes violently obscene hand gesture.

I fully agree.

**makes violet obscene hand gesture back at ya', and blurts random non-sequitur explicative, in response**

Thanks!

Can bouts of weeping be OR? I know I had lots of that when the mask mandates started up again.

originally posted by: KKLOCO
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Ahh yes, Fukitol - a godsend.

2 in the morning upon wakening. At around 1pm I can feel the caring kicking in - time for 2 more. Then 2 more at 7pm to ensure the victory into bedtime.

Thank god your Ocular Rectitis showed you the way to this magical medicine, Fukitol.

Now, it’s 8:45 on Sunday morning, where’s my effin beer?!

Even better when ya' chase it with a double shot of Everclear!

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

It's like a sixth sense.....

"I see s*** people!"

originally posted by: ketsuko
Can bouts of weeping be OR? I know I had lots of that when the mask mandates started up again.

Yes, uncontrollable sobbing interlaced between fits of maniacal laughing and angrily shouting at strangers have been known to occur.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Brilliant Mr. Disk, simply brilliant.

I'm on a prescribed dose of Fokitol everyday, though my prescription comes with a chaser of ''Givaship''. With out that Givaship chaser I would never get to my next dose of Fokital leaving me a burping mess in that far corner of the room over there.....

originally posted by: TerryMcGuire
a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Brilliant Mr. Disk, simply brilliant.

I'm on a prescribed dose of Fokitol everyday, though my prescription comes with a chaser of ''Givaship''. With out that Givaship chaser I would never get to my next dose of Fokital leaving me a burping mess in that far corner of the room over there.....

My doctor tried to get me on that Givasnip stuff, but I it gave me a severe rash on my backside. He switched me over to this other stuff called Ratsass. That, in combination with Fukitol, really helps. I usually only take the two in combination before I go to bed at night, because if I take them with my usual double shot of Everclear during the day, well, my wife says that's how I burned my retinas, laying spread eagle on the lawn and staring at the Sun all afternoon.

I forgot to take my meds one day and when I woke up the next day I had laryngitis and I'd popped a blood vessel in my forehead somehow. The whole day was kind of a blur, and now the neighbor won't let me borrow his lawn mower anymore and his wife just sits there and sneers at me. Fixing his new mailbox wasn't too bad, but filling in the all the truck donut and burnout tracks around his lawn took a while. I'll get that damn cat of his next time (if it ever comes back).

Bravo FlyingClayDisc👏 Well done!

Love this! Thank you sir for my Sunday evening guffaws!....you owe me a new keyboard!


Rainbows
Jane

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I use DamnitAll instead of FukItol. It's been around longer and has fewer side effects.

a reply to: GravitySucks

The problem with Dammitol is it's just an Over-The-Counter drug and it really isn't strong enough to relieve the symptoms of Ocular Rectitis, not like Fukitol does.

All Dammitol does is keep you from bustin' up everybody else's stuff, you still bust up all your own stuff with Dammitol. With Fukitol, on the other hand, life is all just ice cream and cheese sauce. You just don't give a hoot about nuttin'! It's ALL good.

Now, it is true, that one of the rare side effects of Fukitol is some people have been observed to bust up all their own stuff and everyone else's stuff and not give a flying foo-fah. However, clinical trials have shown this to be exceptionally rare and usually triggered by a mother Karen encounter when protecting and teaching a clutch of Karen spawn. As long as you always make sure you have your Karen Spray (or Kevin Spray) handy these potentially deadly encounters can be avoided and you can significantly mitigate the total amount of busted stuff.