Lost my Mama today

My condolences may she RIP.

a reply to: JAGStorm

You have my deepest condolences, JAGStorm.

I lost my parents within the last ten years. Beyond the grief of those events, there is also a sense of sadness and loneliness that comes from realizing I no longer have any living ancestors.

Take care
--Cav

a reply to: JAGStorm

originally posted by: Macenroe82
a reply to: JAGStorm

I’m so sorry for your loss Jag.

I know it’s not NEARLY the same, but I feel as though I’m losing my mother too.
Except she’s moving out of town, an 18 hrs drive away.
She’s moving down south to be closer to her mother, my grandma, who’s 84 now. She had a stroke last summer and now needs help around the house and her garden.
I’ve always been close to my mom.
Today’s my birthday.
After work today I went and spent some time with her. Helped her pack a few things and just talked with her.
I’m really gonna miss her.
Again, I know it’s not the same, but it feels like it because I don’t know when I’ll see her again.

I just wanted to respond to you. I lived far away from my parents, and it was like mini deaths over and over and over.
Even when i would go see them and have to say goodbye, it was like a death all over again. I do know what you are feeling. It is so sad. That is why as long as I am able, I do not want to leave my children. If they move that is OK. I just do not want to move from them.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I'm so sorry JAG, it is tough to lose a parent let alone two so close together.

I lost my father when I was 15, my mother 8 years later and I still grieve, even as I grow old. Take time for yourself to be alone, away from all the well-meaning people. Celebrate their lives and know they are together.

originally posted by: JAGStorm
a reply to: JAGStorm

Maybe the anonymity of this site allows people to be their real self.

perhaps you're right. when my mom passed in 2010, it was the saddest days of my life, and a "good friend" told me two weeks later: "it's time to get over it" !!!! some friend, right?!

Well here it is over half-way through 2021 and I had a dream with my mom in it the other night. I am still mentally recalling that dream as it was so nice to be around her again and hear her talk to me, even if it was just a momentary dream.

a reply to: JAGStorm
I'm sorry for your loss.

a reply to: JAGStorm

I am very sorry for your loss. I lost my Dad a few years ago due to cancer and he was only in his early 60s. I am 38 now and I miss him every week. I see like you how family members really are - after certain 'pillars' are gone, and it's not always nice. You still love your family but nothing is ever the same.
I had a lot of OOBE thanks to my Dad, he pulled me out since he knew I liked it, and he showed me many things the year or two after he passed.
Now he has moved on and his ego and major soul are gone and or in a different body for sure. I don't sense him as strongly.
Have fun in your voyages Dad!

a reply to: JAGStorm

PS to say you are lucky you got to be with her while she passed. My Dad died overseas so we could only help ease his transition beforehand for a week or so before we couldn't afford to stay anymore. ..

Sad story....stay strong and don't give up

originally posted by: Bloodworth
Sad story....stay strong and don't give up

Giving up is not an option. I have my immediate family members that need me.
It is just a little heartbreaking to know this chapter has closed.
I have a few aunts and uncles left, nobody that I’m particularly close with though.
They are older than my parents too, so they are all freaking out a bit right now.

The reality is, we don’t know when we are next. I plan on living life to the fullest. I’m giving myself a few days to stay in bed, to cry my eyes out, to just wallow. After I’m going to shake myself off and live like my parents would want me to live. I know there will be things that remind me of them every day. That’s ok, I will keep those memories very close to my heart.

a reply to: JAGStorm

Sorry to hear this, hope you are ok. They’re never lost as long as you cherish the memories, till you meet again.

I lost my mom this year as well in a flash, no chance to even see her before she left. My heart goes out to you and yours, it's not easy to deal with even months after.

I hope her best memories stay with you forever... it's what I'm grabbing onto lately to keep me from sinking

hugs from Seattle

originally posted by: JAGStorm

originally posted by: Bloodworth
Sad story....stay strong and don't give up

Giving up is not an option. I have my immediate family members that need me.
It is just a little heartbreaking to know this chapter has closed.
I have a few aunts and uncles left, nobody that I’m particularly close with though.
They are older than my parents too, so they are all freaking out a bit right now.

The reality is, we don’t know when we are next. I plan on living life to the fullest. I’m giving myself a few days to stay in bed, to cry my eyes out, to just wallow. After I’m going to shake myself off and live like my parents would want me to live. I know there will be things that remind me of them every day. That’s ok, I will keep those memories very close to my heart.

I wish you the best. And what you wrote sounds like you have the right mentality.
I went through the same thing 3 months ago.
It sucks

Sorry to hear about your parents dying. I went through that years ago. I am a guy, so I was taught to not show my feelings, that was the way it was when I was young. Women were allowed to get more mushy though, in fact it was almost expected.

I think about my parents quite often, wondering how they would react to the new society that has been created. Both my parents were interested in getting along with everyone, they would not like the division being spewed these days.

originally posted by: rickymouse
Sorry to hear about your parents dying. I went through that years ago. I am a guy, so I was taught to not show my feelings, that was the way it was when I was young. Women were allowed to get more mushy though, in fact it was almost expected.

I think about my parents quite often, wondering how they would react to the new society that has been created. Both my parents were interested in getting along with everyone, they would not like the division being spewed these days.

In my moms final months we actually got to talk to her a lot about societal changes. Surprisingly a lot of them she did like.
Some she did not. She was not too keen on guys wearing lipstick. She did like that women were supporting themselves and not having marriage as the only option. She loved that young people of both sexes were standing up for what they believed in. She told me she remembered people getting married at 14 & 15 years old.

Even though she was not black, she seemed to understand a lot of what black people felt. I think her being born a foreigner she felt a lot of similar discriminations and could understand a lot of the pent up anger. Her first year in the US she got a ticket for not turning her headlights on at exactly six. She said it was not even dark outside. There were so many stories. I loved talking to my parents as an adult. It was a completely different perspective.


did I mentions she liked BOTH Trump and Nancy Pelosi!

a reply to: JAGStorm

I am so sorry. It's like IAMTAT said there really isn't anything that anyone can say that will help ease your pain, but know that there are people who understand your emotions. I am glad you were there with your mom holding here hand. I think you will find great comfort in that memory over the coming days. I am also sorry for any additional drama that you had to endure. Losing both parents that close together was enough for you to have to bare without anything additional. Prayers and good vibes will be coming your way as I am sure you will be on the minds of several who have heard your story.

reply to: JAGStorm
I've been a lurker here since 2009 and while I havent lurked consistently as in every day, I have always been drawn to this site. It comforts me in a way that I cannot explain. I was grieving from the loss of my parents when I found ATS. I initially just wanted to read about John Titor because I wanted so badly for him to be legit. I guess it gave me hope that it might be possible to go back so I could help my mother in her garden and drive my dad around his farm. I had never felt so alone in my life. I too had family drama and faced some hard realities in regards to my siblings. After time I kept coming back to read the discussions of various topics, mainly political threads. I didnt feel like I needed to comment, lurking eased my mind and took my focus off the reality of everything I was going through. Over time I realized that many people here had sincere relationships with each other. I have to admit I was envious, but scared to engage in conversations I suppose out of fear of rejection or being ignored. I believe that I was led hear time after time as I went through several dark and painful years. I think your comment is true on many levels. People here are of a different caliber and emotions are okay to show on ATS. Definately think part of our humanity has been lost in life but it isn't lost on the people here who are of that different caliber that you mentioned. Maybe that's why we are all drawn to this site, because it is the one place that we find characteristics of people that we can't seem to find in the lives we live offline.........

originally posted by: chiefsmom
I'm so sorry Jag. I'd give you a big hug if I could!
I know I have precious little time left with my mom right now, thanks to Parkinson and dementia.
The worst is how frustrated she gets with her condition.
I don't want to lose her, but I don't want her to suffer either.

May the pain lessen, and the memories only bring you joy.

I am so sorry for your mom.
My dad had Parkinson’s for many years and then dementia.
The dementia is what got him. It was one of the hardest things to watch in my entire life.
He was basically being tortured from within.
It is not to say we didn’t have our sweet moments.
I miss my dad so much, the dad before the illness……

Wow...

Just wow. This is a golden OP mate good freaking job. We both know what you worked towards to transpire here and you did masterful, trust me.

Now as for your parents, you know deep down they are in a better place right now where let's hope, has more sanity and love. You already have signs from them that only you can understand, so keep your head up and smile. God and the afterlife is real. Now, all you have to do is to honor your mother and your father through your actions, stop doubting so much and learn to listen.

Much love brother,

StorD