Looking For A Good Lie

originally posted by: IAMTAT
I actually DO have a 'NO SOLICITING' sign in the front yard...which even the Girl Scouts ignore.

I recently read a leaked JoeHoVaxx Nit-Witness instruction sheet which actually instructs them to ignore 'No Soliciting' signs.

I have that. I also have "The people in this house exercise our 2nd Amendment Rights". I also have a sign that is issued by my town forbidding soliciting. I also have a sign that says "Smile, you are on camera and it is being recorded". I also made a No Trespassing blah blah blah sign, but have not put that up. I am all signed up.

All of that gets ignored. Weird. lol

Still don't really get the reason to lie. I don't know where most of you live, but here in south central PA, when you come to our door and we say "not interested," the folks at the door leave.

We have a good county sheriff, and some pretty good trespassing laws, that are upheld by juries. Tell some one "good day" out here, and that is the polite end to the conversation.

Our sheriff issues carry permits unless he has a reason not to, and pretty much anyone who trespasses and does not leave when you ask to are subject to arrest. I have had a few folks who were hard headed. Called 911 and stood outside till the police came. They all went away in cuffs.

I never felt a need to "own" anyone, just remove a problem.

If you want to "own" these folk, you might want to consider a "no thank you" response. It might keep you, who are in the right up to that point, from going over the edge into the wrong.

Besides, what is wrong with being polite to others, even when they are being less than polite to you? Cost you Nothing, and feels better later.

"You're over 2 hours late! Are you trying to piss off the Colombians? Where's the detonator?"

a reply to: IAMTAT

Okay, but just this once. I mean it’s not like explaining why you are coming home at 3am, with a complete stranger’s car that looks like it has been beat with a railroad tie and sledgehammer and you are stone cold sober...

Simply say that you heard that January 6 was a test run, the real war is weeks maybe days away and you know that you are in no shape. So if it should devolve to pockets of cannibalism that you want your gift to humanity to be edible to both vaxxers and anti-vaxxers as your final act of kindness.

originally posted by: pthena
a reply to: BrujaRebooted

Yes. They do.
My local grocery store does too, because of member savings card. And it's a nationwide chain.

As far as door to door canvassers, they don't know. That's why they ask. Their records show addresses and not names.

Here's a slightly dated (29 Jan 2021) article about Vaccine Cards.
How Can I Show I've Recieved the COVID-19 Vaccine?

While many states keep vaccination records on file, the information can be difficult to access.
...
Unfortunately, there is currently no universal document or federal database that can attest that you’ve actually received your shots.
...
It’s important to know that the CDC does not store individual vaccination records. Therefore, the CDC cannot provide you with a record of your COVID-19 vaccination. This is why it’s essential that you hang onto your CDC card and any other documentation you’re given.

Basically, if I call the CDC and ask if I personally have been vaccinated, they will say, "We don't know".

Medicare might know, but they only know that they paid. They didn't witness me getting a shot. Only the witness who initialed the card knows for sure, and she's probably forgotten my name by now. I'm not so terribly memorable after all.

She did give me her phone number though.

I suppose you missed where I said CA has a vaccination registry database. So yeah, canvassers will know name and address of those vaxxed. So those are the addresses they will skip. Im betting other states have kept track as well. The person who took your information for the vax entered you into a database.

originally posted by: Halfswede
How about, as you are reaching to shake their hand, "I am currently Covid positive -- what should I do?"

This is the best one IMO.

Lmao, nice.

I’ll ask to see their green card.

Funny thread.🤔 In South Africa you dont need a prepared lie as long as you have a machete.

I like the stink bomb idea. It doesnt hurt. You just need to refine it to stay safe from the law. Couple of drops of butyric acid on a plastic sheet on a porch is all it takes. You like the smell of fermented cheese vomit in the morning on your property and if they ignore the smell or their masks actually work and step on it it's their problem. People had to dispose their cars for couple of drops on the windshield.
Btw I'd buy such a car. I kinda like the smell. It's like vinegar but more earthy, fecally and pissy. Brain identifies it as food unlike other chemicals

a reply to: IAMTAT

I already got my vaccine a few months back. I was coughing up blood for two weeks and I'm pretty sure I had a stroke. My thoughts are so foggy and I'm numb all over and can't work. But I'd go through it all again to be safe and be a good american. That's what I'll tell the stupid fascists when they show up at my door.

I hate lying too TAT ! As tempting as it would be to confront the dummies knocking at the door, the most logical thing to do is get off the list, lol, at least that one. I’d say that “ medical “ complications prevent me from getting the jab.. That’s absolutely True actually I’d be just nice enough to have those dummies cross me off their list and not red-flag me for harassment, but would be curt and to the point enough where no follow up questions would be tolerated without saying good-bye and closing the door, after wishing them a nice day !

originally posted by: MountainLaurel
I’d say that “ medical “ complications prevent me from getting the jab.. That’s absolutely True actually

If asked...what medical complications would I need to explain so their pea brains would comprehend?

I can't imagine you would he required to give specifics, they won't be doctor's knocking on the door and will not have the training to determine what you say is medically accurate.

originally posted by: IAMTAT

originally posted by: MountainLaurel
I’d say that “ medical “ complications prevent me from getting the jab.. That’s absolutely True actually

If asked...what medical complications would I need to explain so their pea brains would comprehend?

originally posted by: nonspecific
I can't imagine you would he required to give specifics, they won't be doctor's knocking on the door and will not have the training to determine what you say is medically accurate.

originally posted by: IAMTAT

originally posted by: MountainLaurel
I’d say that “ medical “ complications prevent me from getting the jab.. That’s absolutely True actually

If asked...what medical complications would I need to explain so their pea brains would comprehend?

Perhaps.
Still, are we talking allergies?
Or something else?

If it was me I'd be a bit vague yet psyudoscientific.

Don't say you can't have a vaccine but because of your "insert technobabble" your doctor wants to make sure that your "technobabble" levels are stabilised after your "technobabble" and needs to see another month or so of stable results before he's confident the vaccine will not pose a definate threat to you?

originally posted by: IAMTAT

originally posted by: nonspecific
I can't imagine you would he required to give specifics, they won't be doctor's knocking on the door and will not have the training to determine what you say is medically accurate.

originally posted by: IAMTAT

originally posted by: MountainLaurel
I’d say that “ medical “ complications prevent me from getting the jab.. That’s absolutely True actually

If asked...what medical complications would I need to explain so their pea brains would comprehend?

Perhaps.
Still, are we talking allergies?
Or something else?

a reply to: ThatDamnDuckAgain

Oh my ! Your whole post was hilarious. Thanks !

Have been contemplating a few different approaches.
If they come a knockin', will start with a very cautious, slow, slow door-opening just a crack, while leaving the door-chain on.
This is standard for an urban apartment anyways.

Then will just look confused, and mumble very low, so they can't really hear me well.
Pretend not to understand a single thing they say, and just mumble gibberish.
You know : like an old guy who probably has a fulltime caregiver to take care of him, but maybe she's sitting in the kitchen playing games on her phone.

Won't give them any recognition for anything they say.
Hopefully they'll end-up saying "...Covid™...".

At that point : my facial expression will change to total fear, and will scream out : COVID !!!! COVID !!!! COVID !!!!
And slam the door shut.

If they keep knockin' for 10 minutes after that : will go-out the backdoor, and walk down to the pub for a couple.

If they keep coming back, will keep trying to avoid them.
If they eventually come with police or something, will still never take the chain off-of the door.
But will pull-up a chair by the door, and sit there sipping a cold-one, and doing the endless questions game.
Imaging trying to convince someone who is inconvincible.

Will need a fifteen minute bathroom break every hour though.
Might go out on the back porch, to see if it's smoky out there.
But then will just sit at my computer for another 10-15 minutes, until they get really insistent in their knocking again.

Then finally answer back to the beginning, like they are new, and don't remember them.
Sorta like Lenny, but flexible and adjusting to the flow of their energy.
Then tell them that we must be going, and have to leave now.


Am not the type to go out of my way to bug anybody, but if they come intruding on my peaceful quiet home, then they are getting into my space.

a reply to: Nothin
When I first heard the Lenny I was remembered about when I used to bring groceries to old people's home, as a kid, and they would not let me go. Like telling their life story every time. Again and again and again. That's how I know the dreaded and sick feeling, coupled with the smell and bad air because often they were smokers and drinkers, in bad shape.

Of course I could have walked out, no one forced me to stay but the politeness called for a polite retraction, not just "here is the recipe, give me the money". Lucky I could choose my route myself and so I put those people upfront so I have an excuse to leave fast.

I still valued each of everyone, never had bad thoughts about them. We all get old someday.

Am not the type to go out of my way to bug anybody, but if they come intruding on my peaceful quiet home, then they are getting into my space.

We say that sometimes one needs to to beat on sh... to dissolve a situation.

Doesn't mean the people are # but the situation and that no one needs to accept a situation that is unjust, even the peaceful mind has a right to step out when enough is enough. Not taking up arms or such but being like I described.