The Washing Machine has Rollerskates!!

Yes, folks, it must be so. Sort of, I guess.

Apparently...according to my lovely bride, I came to bed last night and immediately fell sound asleep (very tired, very long day). Shortly thereafter, so I am told, I started mumbling in my sleep. Then, I forcefully stuck my right arm straight up in the air, index finger pointed toward the heavens with decided purpose, and loudly issued the proclamation..."THE WASHING MACHINE...HAS ROLLERSKATES!!"

Wife said I held my arm up in the air for quite some time after issuing said proclamation, as if to doubly reinforce the point. The Australian Shepard, who had snuck up on the bed, immediately popped his head up and looked at 'Mom', then at me, then back at Mom with a very puzzled look as if to say 'what the heck is Dad talking about???'. Rhode is a very intelligent pup, and according to my wife, he was sincerely looking at her wondering how he was to supposed to respond to this command. It didn't sound like 'get off the bed' or 'move over!', or 'kennel up', or any of the other things he usually hears, so he wasn't sure what to do. I guess he just sighed, rolled his eyes a little, put his head down and went back to sleep at Dad's feet.

After a couple minutes, so I am told, I put my arm down. The critically important point had been made...I guess. The wife had been carefully watching me to ensure my arm didn't come crashing down on her like a giant redwood tree. It didn't, so life had returned to normal.

Now, dear readers should know, I NEVER talk in my sleep, so this was a first. And, outside of the occasional power-snoring, this proclamation was so unusual and outside of the norm my wife said she honestly wondered if she should get up and go check out the washing machine!

What does it all mean?????

Just thought I'd share.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

Clearly, it is a message from the 'alternate-sock' universe (that place where every second sock placed into the washing machine goes to), as to the dangers of such transference.

Indeed, in one experiment in higher dimensional transference, one of our research assistants (Don, I think his name was) did some angular rotation in a higher dimension (the 11th?) and when we attempted retrieval into normal dimensionality, he had turned entirely inside out (The cleaners took hours of scrubbing with brushes and chemicals to try and get all the blood and bits out of the coils). Still, he did achieve some limited fame from the accident.

It has to do with vortex forces and spatial diffusion tensor fields caused by Mach type frame dragging during the violent spin cycle.

I could explain better with a diagram, but this forum is more of a text-based medium, and I'm too lazy to pick up a writing implement and scan it in at the moment (& I might miss some of the latest installment of Loki).

You should heed the warning. A washing machine adrift on rollerskates is a fearsome force to be reckoned with, especially as it approaches the convergence of the event horizons that it culminates!

I have weird dreams too, but I don't think they actually mean anything. My wife tells me that while sleeping I broke out in hysterical laughter for about 15 - 20 seconds and then just stopped and went back to a peaceful sleep.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk


As the head of the household, just roll with it.


You said your piece and your loving family considered it. Bonus points to your wife for almost launching an investigation.






Great story!

I, obviously, have no recollection of any of it! LOL!

I learned of the event shortly after the daily "Good Morning" greeting this morning.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

I dunno, but I definitely get worried when I see a thread titled..."The Washing Machine has Rollerskates!!"

I worry about, unsolved trauma and relationships, the most!

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

An aunt of mine had an old cooker with a handy arrangement of some mechanical sort.
You had to lift a flap up at the bottom to reveal a small foot pedal then stick your toe in and push down.
The whole thing then rose a couple of inches and some wheels dropped down on which the device was then easily moved around for cleaning or repositioning purposes.

I'd hazard a guess that , in your dream state, you'd simply mistaken this ingenious invention for a cooker for an altogether different but common household appliance.

A comical but forgivable error I'm sure.

a reply to: Tulpa

No idea, especially since I haven't seen, touched or even thought of 'rollerskates' for probably 40 years. Of all the crazy stuff I could dream up, rollerskates would probably be one of the very last things I would think of.

I would love to be able to go back and ask myself the context of my proclamation, but alas it has vaporized and vanished into the aether forever.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

So apparently the other night I talked in my sleep too. I asked my girlfriend if she had a canteen.

Must have been having a dream where I was playing dayz.

Only logical explanation I can think of. I don't know of any games with washers on roller skates, so you are on your own with figuring that one out.

a reply to: Stevenmonet

According to my wife, there was no debating the notion that the 'washing machine had rollerskates'. She said it was stated as an unequivocal FACT!

And, it's not really even the rollerskates which I find so comical, but rather the dramatic emphasis I put on the washing machine having rollerskates. She said it was like a mighty Emperor, standing before his masses, stabbing his bony finger out above the crowd and commanding..."THE WASHING MACHINE...HAS ROLLERSKATES!!"

She said she was actually waiting for the follow up decree of..."SO IT SHALL BE WRITTEN. SO IT SHALL BE DONE!"...part!. It was apparently quite loud too! I have a pretty deep voice anyway, but the wife said this particular utterance seemed especially ominous. LOL!! **snort** Just thinking about it cracks me up! LOL!

ETA - She said the look on the dog's face was priceless! Said he was looking at her like..."Welp, I ain't gonna' argue with the dude...are YOU??? I guess the washing machine has rollerskates! And that's all there is to say about that subject!!!" **direct quote from her, LOL!**

Slap a patent on it !!

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk
I'm sorry but!!!! With my Sherlock Holmes powers of deduction I cannot conclude that you have never talked in your sleep before. I give the anecdotal evidence of my wife waking me up in the middle of the night with the statement9 forcefully put over) "wake up, you're snoring. Stop it".
Now to infer the scenario , like my answer to the good lady "how do I know I'm snoring because I'm asleep and can't hear myself aaaannnnddd How can I stop snoring because I'm asleep".
So how do you know you've never talked in your sleep because you wouldn't know because you're asleep. Now enter into the unknown territory, if you have talked in your sleep before did your wife hear you and the revelation of your outburst was too terrifying to relate?
I rest my case. Ooops sorry, it's elementary my dear Watson.

a reply to: crayzeed
PS. A question:- were they inline skates or the normal sort? Because if they were inline skates the dream would be futuristic. And was the washing machine a twin tub or an automatic?
These are essential questions that need answering to get to the bottom of your revelation thingy.

a reply to: crayzeed

Heh, because the wife says I don't talk in my sleep, and because BOTH your and my deductive powers are smart enough to know...Thou shalt never disagree with she who shall not be disagreed with! Else thou shalt truly fear the night!

The correct answer is: "Yes, Dear! Thank you, Dear! May I have another?!?! I didn't need that stinking spleen anyways!"

a reply to: crayzeed

Not Sure!

We got this guy, Not Sure, he's got a higher IQ than aaaanybody! An' he's gonna' fix...eeeeeeevrything! ...

Sleeping brains are strange critters! I have been a frequent sleep talker and sleep walker all my life. My husband still gets tickled talking about rolling over one night to find my side of the bed empty. I was a week overdue with our 2nd spawn so he figured he should probably go check. He says after a few increasingly frantic minutes of searching, and realizing the dog was gone too, he went outside to start looking. He claims I was as big around as Jupiter so I couldn't have rolled far. He found me in the barn. Quite a distance from the house. Sweeping a dirt floor. Very seriously telling all of the hens, 3 horses, 1 mule a handful of goats that you just could not eat human skin like potato chips. No matter how hungry you were. While sound asleep. He said they were all paying very close attention and the dog looked relieved that he was finally there to take over his task.