Oregon Has Legalized Human Composting

My wife just informed me that I can't have a boat to die in.

originally posted by: Randyvine2
As long as I don't end up on some elites arboretum entry way
upside down as a vase with pine cone sticking out of my ass.

Any burial is a good burial.

My will is a traditional burial and to be left in peace.

Anyone digs me up and puts me on display, and I'll find some way to put an Egyptian curse on them!

originally posted by: DBCowboy
My wife just informed me that I can't have a boat to die in.

Couldn't convince her the fish finder and beer cooler were for the afterlife?

a reply to: dug88
I'm all for this. I want to be burned up and my ashes put into my lily garden.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
My wife just informed me that I can't have a boat to die in.

I can loan you a canoe but it might be harder to hit with a flaming arrow?

I won't need it back.

originally posted by: Randyvine2

originally posted by: DBCowboy
My wife just informed me that I can't have a boat to die in.

I can loan you a canoe but it might be harder to hit with a flaming arrow?

I won't need it back.

Thanks bro, glad someone has my back.

*sniff*

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: DBCowboy

I am NOT going to be met at the halls of Valhalla and claim that my body is now making ferns grow or someone's god-damned tomato plant.

Valhalla? it might go either way it could be an express elevator to the basement or at least Purgatory for a few centuries. Where you can haunt us for a while...

a reply to: DBCowboy

This is why explosives should be accessible to the average bear for special circumstances. What a glorious ending to have your shell become part of a pyrotechnic extravaganza with smoke and percussion and fireworks. When we buy fireworks, the operant word to look for is: 'flaming balls.' No kidding.

I am going to be cremated, unless I can somehow rig it to be exploded. The Viking Funeral is wasteful, and unless the boat is wooden, creates a toxic mess. Much better to be vaporized in an event in which the observers applaud and cheer.

Of course like any bloke I do have a preference.

originally posted by: putnam6

originally posted by: DBCowboy
a reply to: DBCowboy

I am NOT going to be met at the halls of Valhalla and claim that my body is now making ferns grow or someone's god-damned tomato plant.

Valhalla? it might go either way it could be an express elevator to the basement or at least Purgatory for a few centuries. Where you can haunt us for a while...

I'll sure as hell try to screw people up in the afterlife.

originally posted by: argentus
a reply to: DBCowboy

This is why explosives should be accessible to the average bear for special circumstances. What a glorious ending to have your shell become part of a pyrotechnic extravaganza with smoke and percussion and fireworks. When we buy fireworks, the operant word to look for is: 'flaming balls.' No kidding.

I am going to be cremated, unless I can somehow rig it to be exploded. The Viking Funeral is wasteful, and unless the boat is wooden, creates a toxic mess. Much better to be vaporized in an event in which the observers applaud and cheer.

Toxic waste should be my eulogy.

If this is going to be okay, then how much further away is Soylent green from being okay?? It is an indirect form of soylent green isn't it.

To ne this is morbid, but considering the source is Kate Brown supporting this, it isn't really any surprise.

Portland is so woke. This is great. My roommate just showed me an isntagram page called "portlandlookslike#" and it's insane what has happened there in the past 3 years. It looks like absolute hell.

Also, I've decided that i want my body launched into space when i die. Hopefully we can do that by the time I'm dead. Maybe we will have UFO's by then and someone can just sort of push me out.

a reply to: booyakasha

They have alot of interesting ideas over there. Besides the controversial political stuff; removing fluoride, legalizing psychedelic mushrooms and generally being open to new ideas is great.

Why is everything so black or white today.. If it's liberal and made governing mistakes, then everything else they do is bad?

I much rather have new and young politicians making mistakes, trying new things and being open minded than leaving the reigns to the old stiffies who are still are afraid to legalize marijuana.

/ shrug

So, the sticking point between acceptance of this particular method, and not, is that a green burial or standard box in the ground is somehow perceived as cleaner or less toxic than being composted.

Not much difference IMO between decomposition from a green burial and thus your contaminated butt leeching organic taint out in the ground right there, and being a similarly tainted composted bag of Granny's Best for the roses at home.

Personally, it's not a bad idea for an option to consider -- cremate me & do whatever with the ashes, or use my ass to grow roses or something. Beats being stuck for an eternity in perma-box corpse prison, in a death park with contaminated soil from all the embalming bullcrap leeching out.

a reply to: gb540

i guess that's what happened to mort rainy in secret window, ate to much corn and the prions made him bat sh@@ crazy.

a reply to: hounddoghowlie

and you know that some big agribusiness will start baggin it up, or sell it by the train car. big bucks to be made.

I wonder what the difference would be between vegans and meat-eaters.

Surely one would make a better fertilizer than the other, and the price would probably differ as well.

Would the vegan soil cost more, or would it be dirt cheap....

What do I think.

If that is what someone wants to do with their body, fine.

It really doesn't matter what you do with a body after the person is dead.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust - seems like the Biblical prescription for bodies.

Hubby wants to be ashes.

I have a totally irrational fear of the ashes thing, dust would be ok, i.e. compost
I know caskets, etc. are for the living to feel better about the whole thing.

The only reason cremation is so energy intensive is they do not dry the body first.

If they solar dry the body under a vacuum until there was less than 5% water, the body would burn with its own fats.

originally posted by: DBCowboy
My wife just informed me that I can't have a boat to die in.

Would it make you feel any better to know that the type of Viking Funeral you had hoped for was pretty much a myth? While it's true that certain Vikings of certain social classes were buried in burning boats, the typical funeral involved digging a very large hole, and placing the longboat within this grave. The deceased was then placed within the boat along with whatever grave goods were to be included and then everything was lit aflame in place. Once the fire died down everything was then buried and a barrow was often constructed above the cremation site. sorry to spoil your hopes and dreams with facts based on actual viking burials and runes deacribing the practice. If it comes down to it though and you can get your body to the east coast I'll gladly steal my former father in laws boat, send you out into the bay and send it all to Valhalla for you. I'll even throw in some mead for the trip to the other side. Cant have you sgowing up in Valhalla stone cold sober after all.