I have a confession to make.. (this will include some rant is why I posted here)

the confession:

I hate wearing my uniform now, I hit 20 years in Nov and I am done after so many years of enjoying my work and wearing the uniform I loathe putting it on every day. (this does not mean I hate the republic, the constitution or the bill of rights far from it)

The rant:

So last week at my base we had a guy join the 22, last night I found out a guy I served with at another base joined the 22, this has killed the last of my joy at serving my country.

Why if you ask... 22 vets a day for nearly 20 years have committed suicide, the VA has been broken since inception and still is. Republicans and democrats pledge to do better every election cycle right now they are 0 for forever, on the suicides for 20 years I have heard watch out for each other, and each year the USAF has changed things to make it impossible to truly look out for your people and promote. I know for a fact the guy at my current base could have been saved but leadership is only concerned about sortie production and dont care how run ragged the troops are, So folks have to chose between their families or promotion.

I am sick of it, there is no reason for it, the VA gets plenty of money to handle 22 million vets, yet we cant fire GS workers that do nothing but clog up the process as they prove they deserve that promotion. (if they get fired the worker can claim they were unfairly fired and right now they have a bloody near perfect record of winning in the courts.)

All we want is honesty if we are screwed by the system tell us we are and we will adapt and find another way, but all they do is string people along while prescribing buckets of opioids to people that really just need a hand to find a new way forward.

Congress has the means to FIX the VA and they could do it by the end of the next session, they choose not to because they dont want to actually fix the problem.

I am so angered by this I have to wonder after all these years and their lessons at being a failure after vietnam that they didnt learn from I have to wonder if its by design.

I dont know, I am probably still upset over that co-worker from tinker he was a good guy dealt a # hand and his demons finally got him, I cant help but wonder if I had still been there would I have seen the signs and helped. I have gotten a few airmen to counseling before when I noticed the behavior changes, recently opened my home to 2 airmen through the holidays and they told me it helped a lot but cant help but wonder if I should be doing more or if I even can. (thank god my wife has a huge heart, when I invited those guys to the house she didnt bat an eye and made extra food for the holiday meals, she is an NCO as well and always tries to watch out for her junior enlisted)

Time to do what I shouldn't but I promised I would pour myself one, and one for the fallen.

Slainte!

a reply to: Irishhaf

The uniform is outside you, your problem inside.

I don't think you need to fight it, embrace it instead and turn it into wisdom.

a reply to: Irishhaf

I'm sorry you're going through this. I think you're right, the VA has enough money, and the US in general has enough money to theoretically "fix" the military's suicide problem, but they won't, and they never will. (And, of course, it's not just a US issue.)

It's all part of the war game to the Kings of the chessboard. Everyone else is disposable and expected to stick to their moves. There's not a lot of room for mental wellness in their eyes it seems.

No excuse...

a reply to: Irishhaf

Guess the other people responding here so far aren’t veterans. Former Navy here, and e wry thing you say is true. Congress needs to be fired, almost every last one, and all of the useless bureaucrats and dismantle 95% of governmental agencies and 100% of our “intelligence” agencies.

originally posted by: Trueman
a reply to: Irishhaf

The uniform is outside you, your problem inside.

I don't think you need to fight it, embrace it instead and turn it into wisdom.

This is a really stupid and #!y response.

Yes, I think it is good to vent a bit about what is taking place among the military ranks in general. Once I found out about this: sites.duke.edu...
Nothing is guaranteed in the military under some circumstances. Having served myself in the USAF, the thing that I really noticed is: in the military there is always the suspicion that the US civilian population is the militaries hidden enemy . Not sure how it is programmed into our heads, but if you think about the politicians are somewhat less caring for us Veterans, then this makes sense and that is why they for the most part put their head in the sand. ( not all politicians, but I've been around long enough to know this, if the President is pro-military and shows it with his/her patrioism', that person is usually not well liked in the DC Club of Politicians) . Why, I'm not sure.

originally posted by: Trueman
a reply to: Irishhaf

turn it into wisdom.

Ummm..I think he’s already done that…he’s now wise to the fact that he’s been used for twenty years…and will be cast aside and forgotten…like every other vet…

And every other soldier…airman…sailor…and marine…

And they will call him terrorist…and insurgent…and deplorable…

I think he’s beginning to learn that harsh and bitter lesson of betrayal…


Usury…is always a cost benefit calculation after all…and service men and women…just a number…





YouSir

a reply to: Irishhaf

My condolences.

And I know exactly how you feel.

I'm still young enough to be pissed off when someone I know dies.

It kills me a little bit inside.

Most of the suicides never deployed, never experienced warfare and never left the states. The VA is not the problem. They were at one point but they did clean up the backlog of claims and even implemented Choice for Veterans to go to local doctors.

The problem is screening. The bar must be raised. Can't pass physical fitness standards then they have no business in the military. If they were on medication for mental issues before joining that should be a red flag and they should never be allowed in. Same for felons. Raise the bar and this goes away. Keep letting in the mentally weak and the suicides will continue. None of this was happening after WWII. We have become a military of softness and the emotionally pathetic in terms of warfare. Need mental toughness otherwise we are stuck in this quagmire.

originally posted by: Stupidsecrets
Most of the suicides never deployed, never experienced warfare and never left the states. The VA is not the problem. They were at one point but they did clean up the backlog of claims and even implemented Choice for Veterans to go to local doctors.

The problem is screening. The bar must be raised. Can't pass physical fitness standards then they have no business in the military. If they were on medication for mental issues before joining that should be a red flag and they should never be allowed in. Same for felons. Raise the bar and this goes away. Keep letting in the mentally weak and the suicides will continue. None of this was happening after WWII. We have become a military of softness and the emotionally pathetic in terms of warfare. Need mental toughness otherwise we are stuck in this quagmire.

Are you saying that the military these days allow people with known mental disabilities into the military?
I didn't think that was possible, but I knew about felons under special circumstances were allowed, but generally for 2 years and if lucky maybe a few more years. Not sure if they qualify for the reserves though.

You are right, the military demands mental toughness and always should. The only problem I saw while serving was most soldiers would like to drink on the weekends. ( single, not married ones )

a reply to: Stupidsecrets

Lol I deployed multiple times, no what it was easier than home station work because they actually gave a piss about you.

You are being intensely short sighted, one deployment guy got a chance to call his wife a guy answered the phone, another guy I knew lost his fiance and got diagnosed with cancer in an 8 week span. Another guy had his wife spend him into a hole so deep he came back from deployment in trouble do to bills.

# happens, and everyone has a different trigger point, it doesn't make them soft it makes them human.

a reply to: Irishhaf

Sorry to hear this. You sound like the people we actually need to fix these issues, because you know what's actually broken

My father was a war wounded Vietnam Vet, decorated as well. We inquired about VA services for him, the push-back we got wasn't even worth it, so we up'd both my parents medicare supplemental insurance.

The military budget has 100's of billions, if not Trillions of dollars, it's completely mismanaged. There's zero reason why Vets shouldn't be getting the best of care, for life.

I'm glad we have people like you, on the inside, that have the compassion. It's needed right now more than ever.

a reply to: Irishhaf

I was at a Class VI on Landstuhl a long time back. Waiting in line like everyone else, many in line still had sand in their boots. One guy just started sobbing. Just f%%%ing broke down.

We all took turns comforting him until he got it together, then we got back into line, got our ration of booze and left.

No one said a word to the contrary.

We take care of our own.

Former USAF here, and I can relate and understand. I'm currently at odds with the VA overall. I served from '93-'99. Best and worst years of my life.

Lost FOUR fellow airmen to 22. Another close friend I lost because he was so helpful it got him killed. He drove from LRAFB to New Orleans to pick up another friend of ours who had travel problems and was facing AWOL status. On his way there, after completing a 12hr shift (we failed a base inspection and were placed on 12hr shifts for 2 months) he dose off and ran head on into semi in the opposing lane. RIP Glenn Taylor.

He forgot to put on his seatbelt so his family was denied his SGLI.

Also, RIP:

A1C Robert Winters
SrA David Rice
Amn Marcus Henry
A1C Teresa Conners

My journey ended when my marriage became so unmanageable that my first shirt literally told me to pick between my family and the Air force. I had two little girls and a contemptuous wife. My career and life at the time was crumbling and all the Air force cared about was sortie production, FMC or bust!

I chose my family. They didn't offer any counseling or couples therapy or anything. Wasn't the best time either under Clinton who cut our budget so bad we were cannibalizing other planes to maintain the halfway decent ones to remain mission ready.

You're going to miss that uniform either way, I can promise you that. I sincerely hope you find peace with it all.

It took me years to even approach the VA system and they offered me a basic level of care. I'm grateful but not impressed as when I was in my early thirties, they wanted to yank all my teeth over two root canals I didn't qualify for, and give me dentures instead. That was crazy.

If you're not service connected, you sure are made aware of that by the level of care and overall lack of interest. I had a doctor actually laugh at me over the phone as he told me I didn't qualify for treatment.

I'm not kidding. He was obviously enjoying his day apparently.

It seems my military medical records are missing so I can't file a claim to get service connected. I've been denied three times and honestly just threw my hands up with it all.

There IS peace in letting go. Some fights are absolutely soul draining and literally age you.

Like I said, I can totally relate and I hope you reestablish your balance.

a reply to: EternalShadow

I'm fighting Parkinson's, have Gulf War issues with my immune system.

Won't set foot in a VA.

Not at gun point.

Have a good doc, neurologist paid for with my civilian job. She's keeping me alive and working.

a reply to: Stupidsecrets

Did you serve?

Also, where do you get your claimed stats that most suicides
in the military never left the states or saw combat? I’d like to see a link to that info.

As to the "rant" I'm very sorry for: the loss, the continuing unnecessary losses and for any self condemnations.

Vets and civies are dying via suicide in droves every single day (drug overdoses are suicides, too, at the meta level in most cases) and yet our society is focused (perhaps manipulated) on trivialities or scary events like an illness that has been around since forever. It's easier to deal with a comprehensible enemy rather than something like systemic despair.

Not meaning to be too weird or belabor the obvious, but one could also look into the view that the external world is not as important as one's conscious/ mental life and how one's perceptions of the external world are changed by our attitudes and expectations.

If we change ourselves, we change "the world." It takes attention, time and a re-arrangement of the standard modern priorities (meaning a re-consideration of what is important), but it starts (and ends) with ourselves... and then extending to others.

I'd also offer that death is likely not a total erasing as this universe has more unknowns than we even suspect.

a reply to: Stupidsecrets

The problem is screening. The bar must be raised. Can't pass physical fitness standards then they have no business in the military. If they were on medication for mental issues before joining that should be a red flag and they should never be allowed in. Same for felons. Raise the bar and this goes away. Keep letting in the mentally weak and the suicides will continue. None of this was happening after WWII.

You obviously don’t know much about the military. Suicides have been happening for a long time. We are just hearing about them now due to social media and how fast information travels.
My dad was a DS in the 1970’s. I asked him if he had any soldiers commit suicide. It took him less than a second to tell me “lots”... He said many young recruits were mentally ill, from broken families, from gangs. Lots and lots of troubled youth.

originally posted by: KansasGirl
a reply to: Stupidsecrets

Did you serve?

Also, where do you get your claimed stats that most suicides
in the military never left the states or saw combat? I’d like to see a link to that info.

20 years. USMC and Combat Engineer later in the Guard. You can look that stat up but I got it from the military. Some people handle things a lot different just like civilian life. Some can't handle adversity. If my wife cheated on me I would leave her and that would be that. Another stat, obesity rates of Veterans is much higher than civilians. Do a better job screening people and much of this goes away.