Transitioning into a Neanderthal - possible or not?

Breathing is so much easier with ice-age nostrils.

And the gym keeps complaining I leave teeth marks on their bar when I do pull-ups.

My trainer threw this sand-bag at me, and he shouted I must throw it back.
Not sure where he is, I think he went out the window.

Otherwise, haven't noticed much of a difference.

First you need one of those big black monolith things from 2001. Try Clavius crater on the moon. Then you have to rewire it to run backwards. This is the important part, tie a rope around yourself and have some friends pull you off it before you devolve too far. Be absolutely certain the knot will hold or you might end up an ape or worse. Then just go for it.

When people stop you in a shopping arcade and ask: "Are you saved"?

Well I'm not sure if the New Testament includes hominids.

Am I?

Or is it eternal hell with Homo habilis - just another monkey.

How many mammoth skulls must a man smash in
Before he can make a species cry.

The answer my friend
Is blowing in the wind.

As Neanderthals would we get harems?

Behold the Neanderthals!



Pre-2020, going to the rainbow gathering.

I can see the draw of a primitive life when a cave man was a real man.

Spear? Who needs a spear? Just wrestle that deer down and break it's neck. Mammoth seems too big to take down? Scare them with fire and drive them over a cliff. Feeling a bit randy? Grab the nearest cave woman by the hair and drag her back to the cave. Have a rival in the tribe? Fight it out in front of everyone and prove your might! Your tribe, "The Mastodons" have a problem with that wimpy busy body tribe, the "Wild Asses"? Go over there, take their women and wipe them off the face of the earth, then celebrate back in your village.

Ah, I too feel a yearning for simpler times.

Cops harass Rainbow Gathering.

www.youtube.com...

I'd probably have to learn how to speak a bit differently.

Here comes the human tank with the Micky Mouse voice.

You might think it sounds funny, but I bet you won't laugh about it to my face.

The first Neanderthal corporal in the army:
"So my Homos Sapien maggots, does it amuse you when I shout ATTENTION"?
That's right you just keep biting that lip.
DISMISSED!"

A transition to Neanderthal might be an improvement to my appearance.

not yet feasible with current technology

but in Virtual Reality sense We have already produced the Neanderthal Caveman already...

see:

GEICO Cavemen - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org...

Apr 07, 2007 · The GEICO Cavemen are trademarked characters of the auto insurance company GEICO, used in a series of television advertisements that aired beginning in 2004. The campaign was created by Joe Lawson and Noel Ritter while working at The Martin Agency. According to an episode of the public radio show 99% Invisible, "It's so easy a caveman could do it" was first coined by Ritter. The inspiration …

Cavemen (Tv Series) · Television advertisements · Television sitcom spin-off
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i do however think a complex resurrection program could be launched to eventually produce a pair of 'throw-backs' which might even pass on their Neanderthal traits to a newborn specimen
'but i would say the satisfactory results would take hundreds of cell lines and lots of DNA missing segments to fill in
to get any autonomous entity that at least 'looks' the part
~~~~want to experiment for at least 5 generations of creating a developed clone of our imagination ?

Maybe time for a Neanderthal musical:

"Gather round all my cave-men
It's 50 000 BC.
And I know, tools are costly
Hence the flint quarry.

I saw a kitty with a sabre-tooth
Yeah, I must be aware.
So tragic to be trampled to death
Or eaten by a bear.

We are family
I've got all my cave-mates and me
We are family
Get up everybody and shriek"!

Those were the days ...
When granny said you've got a "lousy boyfriend" it actually implied "bring him to the cave".
Those lice are extra protein.
What a catch!

You think you're a man ...

But you're only a hominid.

Joke?
Maybe.

But perhaps this much is true:

You were only a toy.