Why do people stare?

making eye contact is one of the hardest things to do for some people.

people that have insecurities usually get offended when stared at. Made to feel uncomfortable by someone who takes interest in you, deep issue. Depends on the situation I guess.

Men do that to me all the time. But Its the breasts. They automatically have this instinct to look at your boobies. Animalistic tendencies. Kind of like dogs sniffing each others bums. They say hello that way i guess.

people stare because they want to get served.

My people personally think eye contact is disrespectful.
if you have respect you look down.
making eye contact is a sign of aggression.

Magestica

why do people stare? good question many different answers:

1 you don't like them/they dont like you
2 bird-sh.t on your head
3 you remind them of someone/they remind you of someone
4 this one's a good one "your hitting on them"


and the list can go on and on.

I dont stare at people, but then is there much difference between staring and watching them?



blackwidow

I think making eye contact is one of the best ways of showing respect for the person your dealing with.

Looking away or looking down shows weakness and fear.

#1 rule when being interviewed for a job...make eye contact.

it is a bit intimidating, but if you want something you need to use all your recourses to get it.

Originally posted by Fury
people stare because they want to get served.
My people personally think eye contact is disrespectful.
if you have respect you look down.
making eye contact is a sign of aggression.

LOL, sounds like you have been served.

I don't know about your people, but in general. Looking people in the eye is "respectful".

Eye contact as a sign of aggression?
Sounds like something someone who did time would say.

...looking someone in the eye, in some cultures (such as mine, and that of most Pacific Cultures) is NOT a sign of respect at all...it is more respectful to look away or down, to show your respect to that person by NOT meeting them at 'eye-level'. This is not really about being submissive...this isn't about lowering your own strength, but RAISING that of the person you respect.

...in some places around here, if you look someone (particularily a stranger) directly in the eye...and maintain eye-contact with them constantly...YOU might think you are being respectful, YOU might think its the right way to be...but I assure you this, you are very likely to get your face smashed in...

...I know that appears to be a huge over-reaction...but one has to understand just how much of a cultural insult direct eyecontact is for some.

There are other 'ideosyncrasies' to be aware of with certain cultures (such as Mine and other Pacifc Cultures)...for instance, when I watch Europeans greet eachother, they often think nothing about touching someone about the head. To us Maori, the head is the most sacred part of the body...and it is considered almost a cultural/spiritual attack to touch someones head without expressed premission, or without first being a loved one. Instruments that touch the head, such as combs or hats etc are also considered sacred...so it is not culturally viable to many Maori to use someone elses comb, or touch their hats. Sitting on their pillow or anywhere near where their head rests is also seen as a breach of 'tapu' (sacredness).

Displaying of ones back is also a factor to keep in mind. According to my cultural beliefs, you try your hardest NOT to display your back to someone, particularily if you are speaking with them etc. It is a sign of disrespect. When we have gatherings, we tend to sit in circles, so we are facing one another...and when we move about the room we are always conscious of where our back is facing, so as not to intentionally cause offence to someone.

Every culture has 'acceptable behaviours'...it must be kept in mind that these behaviours are not always uniform across Cultures.


Peace,
ALIEN

[Edited on 15-7-2003 by alien]

Originally posted by ADVISOR

Originally posted by Fury
people stare because they want to get served.
My people personally think eye contact is disrespectful.
if you have respect you look down.
making eye contact is a sign of aggression.

LOL, sounds like you have been served.

I don't know about your people, but in general. Looking people in the eye is "respectful".

Eye contact as a sign of aggression?
Sounds like something someone who did time would say.

agreed, in american buisness culture it is a sign of trust and sincerity with eye contact. in other cultures, such as ghettos and the street, and in native american culture, it can get your ass whooped or worse. It's very wierd to come from the streets in La/OC/riverside, and move to the pac northwest where everybody stares you in the eye, and just has no clue. when i first came up here it took alot of patience, esp. in the buissness dealings to get used to it, but sometimes it makes me want to jump out of my car and #$%^ them up.

guess it's a cultural thing.

Let me give you a tip.

When you realise that a person is or has been staring at you go over to them and smack them around the face and say.

Stop Fckg Staring at me...!


It works for me...

Thats a bit harsh.... Have you ever tried it?

I agree with kitty on her impression that men treats women's breasts as their ears.

I used to laugh when some guy would sit and stare at and talk to my wife's 38D bustline poking through her ballgown, in front of his own wife.

Got milk?