Anguish Languish - Ladle Rat Rotten Hut

It was posted by another member in a different thread, and I was stunned to see it. While I was responding the thread was deleted. What an excellent trip in the wayback machine! It bears repeating (the post was not the reason for the deletion of the thread). Some ATS members didn't understand the post, but I recognized it immediately in the first paragraph. I wondered if it could really be, and it was!

I will replicate it here. Does anyone remember Anguish Languish? I do, with very fond memories to boot. My father used to tell these stories at family get togethers when I was just a little boy and would bring down the house with laughter. He could do it perfectly! What great memories!!

Without further adieu, here is the tale of... 'Ladle Rat Rotten Hut - The story of a wicket woof and a ladle gull' originally written by H.L. Chace.

LADLE RAT ROTTEN HUT

Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage, honor itch offer lodge, dock, florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry putty ladle rat cluck wetter ladle rat hut, an fur disk raisin pimple colder Ladle Rat Rotten Hut.

Wan moaning, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut's murder colder inset. "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter an shirker cockles. Tick disk ladle basking tutor cordage offer groin-murder hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shaker lake! Dun stopper laundry wrote! Dun stopper peck floors! Dun daily-doily inner florist, an yonder nor sorghum-stenches, dun stopper torque wet strainers!"

"Hoe-cake, murder," resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, an tickle ladle basking an stuttered oft.

Honor wrote tutor cordage offer groin-murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anomalous woof.

"Wail, wail, wail!" set disk wicket woof, "Evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut! Wares are putty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?"

"Armor goring tumor groin-murder's," reprisal ladle gull. "Grammar's seeking bet. Armor ticking arson burden barter an shirker cockles."

"O hoe! Heifer gnats woke," setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf, "Oil tickle shirt court tutor cordage offer groin-murder. Oil ketchup wetter letter, an den - O bore!"

Soda wicket woof tucker shirt court, an whinny retched a cordage offer groin-murder, picked inner windrow, an sore debtor pore oil worming worse lion inner bet. Inner flesh, disk abdominal woof lipped honor bet, paunched honor pore oil worming, an garbled erupt. Den disk ratchet ammonol pot honor groin-murder's nut cup an gnat-gun, any curdled ope inner bet.

Inner ladle wile, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut a raft attar cordage, an ranker dough ball. "Comb ink, sweat hard," setter wicket woof, disgracing is verse.

Ladle Rat Rotten Hut entity bet rum, an stud buyer groin-murder's bet.

"O Grammar!" crater ladle gull historically,"Water bag icer gut! A nervous sausage bag ice!"

"Battered lucky chew whiff, sweat hard," setter bloat-Thursday woof, wetter wicket small honors phase.

"O Grammer, water bag noise! A nervous sore suture anomalous prognosis!"

"Battered small chew whiff, doling," whiskered dole woof, ants mouse worse waddling.

"O Grammar, water bag mouser gut! A nervous sore suture bag mouse!"

Daze worry on-forger-nut ladle gull's lest warts. Oil offer sodden, caking offer carvers an sprinkling otter bet, disk hoard-hoarded woof lipped own pore Ladle Rat Rotten Hut an garbled erupt.

MURAL: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers.

The End.

Note: The original book was published in 1956, but Chace actually wrote the story in 1940.

Thank you for reposting!

Too many people are unaware of the Anguish Languish.

The trick to Anguish Languish is reading the words exactly as they appear, not as your mind tries to correct them. You have to read the story a couple times to get the timing right, but once you do you can orate this story to friends or family for loads of entertainment. It's best if you read it from a book or a printed piece of paper, as a story teller would.

I can recall my father would put on this persona of being a wise old man as he told the story, complete with facial expressions to convey the emotions. He'd pull his glasses down on his nose as if he was an old and stuffy scholar, and then he'd begin reading. It was absolutely hilarious. If you pause at certain points to let the words soak in to your audience it's even funnier.

What an absolute hoot!

originally posted by: Lazarus Short
Thank you for reposting!

Too many people are unaware of the Anguish Languish.

Thank YOU for posting it initially!!

When I first saw it, I thought to myself...Nawwwww, it couldn't be...could it??? I recognized it instantly!

I wasn't sure if you were going to post it again, and I didn't know if anyone really saw it, so I reposted.

I have to be honest, it brought tears to my eyes, the memories of this wonderful story, and of my father, the big tough hardened steel man who lived and worked in a world of fire where nothing was ever a joke.

DBL.

a reply to: Flyingclaydisk

This was new to me.

I can get some of it with ease, but I struggle with other parts.

I agree, it is indeed a hoot.

Eyes Socrates. Did I do it right?

Oh that brought back some fond memories.

My Father use to read this at special Family gatherings it was a big hit with lots of laughter.

There was another one that was from the 70's called like go to the BC (Bathroom Commode) when the original meaning was about a Baptist Church (or BC). It's a state of mistaken initial identities that makes this whole story hilarious.


Thanks for the reposting,
Johnny