Most Of The Time Being Right Is The Wrong Thing To Do

originally posted by: Blaine91555
a reply to: MissSmartypants

A wise mentor of mine once told me, "A friend is a person who will tell you, that you have a big green booger hanging out of your nose, instead of letting you walk around with it".

There are times when being kind, is the most unkind thing you can do.

It would be mean to let someone walk around like that. It is a kindness to quietly inform them.

originally posted by: LeoStarchild
a reply to: Blaine91555

Those are wise words.

"Life is tough, It's even tougher if you're stupid" - George Carlin

Again you illustrate my point. Whenever you have a choice of either practicing kindness and compassion or practicing meanspiritedness, practice kindness...it's the right thing to do.

a reply to: MissSmartypants

Oh no, you see.. If you weren't a sociopath.. You would have noticed you started our interaction by being condescending.

My post was fact. You got your panties in a twist. In a rush you barfed out big words and the lie that you are nice.

Whats good for you isn't good for me.

I don't expect a small brain concept like that to resonate with you.

Good day.

you

Southern Mama knows things. Being right can be a self indulgent waste of time that often has a spirit of meaness behind it.

Also you

My intelligence is unsurpassed and I am always right. And my quiet air of authority garner's respect wherever I go. To know me is to love me. You know not whereof you speak.

now, I'm done.

originally posted by: MissSmartypants

originally posted by: Blaine91555
a reply to: MissSmartypants

A wise mentor of mine once told me, "A friend is a person who will tell you, that you have a big green booger hanging out of your nose, instead of letting you walk around with it".

There are times when being kind, is the most unkind thing you can do.

It would be mean to let someone walk around like that. It is a kindness to quietly inform them.

In the same way, helping someone out by helping them get beyond wrong thinking is in the end, the kindest thing to do. Even if they are not receptive, they still incorporate it into their thinking, starting the process.

Being right is a positive, while letting someone continue with being wrong is not kind. Its being so worried about being liked, a person would rather let someone walk around with booger dangling.

a reply to: MissSmartypants

It makes us humans feel good to give helpful advice to someone who needs it...but the goal of imparting helpful advice is not to make ourselves feel good... the goal is to help the person in need. And if that truly is your goal then you will wait to give them that advice at a time when it will do them the be most good. And in the meantime continue to be sympathetic and kind and that moment when you can have that heart to heart will come that much sooner.

a reply to: MissSmartypants

Does it feel good to be a fake? That's not helpful to anyone.

You aren't fooling anyone.

When my son is upset, I tell him the truth about his emotion and help him understand how to release that emotion after a little bit. Never good to hold on to that. That is real help/love/empathy

*For the record I know I'm an a** hole. Please take a good long stiff look in the mirror *couldn't help myself


second edit - I realized I chose the wrong word to describe you. I meant to use narcissist

originally posted by: Blaine91555

originally posted by: MissSmartypants

originally posted by: Blaine91555
a reply to: MissSmartypants

A wise mentor of mine once told me, "A friend is a person who will tell you, that you have a big green booger hanging out of your nose, instead of letting you walk around with it".

There are times when being kind, is the most unkind thing you can do.

It would be mean to let someone walk around like that. It is a kindness to quietly inform them.

In the same way, helping someone out by helping them get beyond wrong thinking is in the end, the kindest thing to do. Even if they are not receptive, they still incorporate it into their thinking, starting the process.

Being right is a positive, while letting someone continue with being wrong is not kind. Its being so worried about being liked, a person would rather let someone walk around with booger dangling.

If you want to help someone get beyond wrong thinking in a lasting and significant way you're going to have to put some serious thought into it. Your going to have to be cognisant of their mood and mindset...and you're going to have to wait for the right moment and be ready when it comes if you want to reach them in a meaningful way.

a reply to: MissSmartypants

There's only a couple of reasons anyone should ever dole out advice to another person. That person is a friend, or their actions impacting you.

Interfering with or giving advice to people that don't meet that criteria is just being a busybody and a narcissist.

Truth is demonstrable always. Bad advice is cheap.

There is a difference between trying to help someone see they are wrong and trying to brainwash them into seeing it your way.

originally posted by: AutomateThis1
a reply to: muzzleflash

Lol! So, what you think I should have agreed with my ex-wife and just been okay with her going off and screwing other dudes?

Sorry, but that ain't me.

How about you keep your judgements to yourself?
You don't know the half of the # involved in that marriage. Her wanting to see other people was just the final straw.

If you are okay with your spouse going off and spending the night screwing other people and coming home at odd hours that's totally on you.

That wasn't what I said at all.

I was talking about preventing it coming to that.

originally posted by: MissSmartypants

originally posted by: Blaine91555

originally posted by: MissSmartypants

originally posted by: Blaine91555
a reply to: MissSmartypants

A wise mentor of mine once told me, "A friend is a person who will tell you, that you have a big green booger hanging out of your nose, instead of letting you walk around with it".

There are times when being kind, is the most unkind thing you can do.

It would be mean to let someone walk around like that. It is a kindness to quietly inform them.

In the same way, helping someone out by helping them get beyond wrong thinking is in the end, the kindest thing to do. Even if they are not receptive, they still incorporate it into their thinking, starting the process.

Being right is a positive, while letting someone continue with being wrong is not kind. Its being so worried about being liked, a person would rather let someone walk around with booger dangling.

If you want to help someone get beyond wrong thinking in a lasting and significant way you're going to have to put some serious thought into it. Your going to have to be cognisant of their mood and mindset...and you're going to have to wait for the right moment and be ready when it comes if you want to reach them in a meaningful way.

You also need to be prepared that they won't ever change as well.

Some ppl never learn...

a reply to: MissSmartypants

You're wrong.

There is a time to share information, a time to listen and not talk, and a time to say, "You're full of crap and I'm not going to hear it."

Happened just tonight to me. Should have thought about the piece he was carrying I suppose, didn't think about that too much.

One thing to offer a hand, but it's another when its a leg.

Dont feed the bears

originally posted by: muzzleflash

originally posted by: MissSmartypants

originally posted by: Blaine91555

originally posted by: MissSmartypants

originally posted by: Blaine91555
a reply to: MissSmartypants

A wise mentor of mine once told me, "A friend is a person who will tell you, that you have a big green booger hanging out of your nose, instead of letting you walk around with it".

There are times when being kind, is the most unkind thing you can do.

It would be mean to let someone walk around like that. It is a kindness to quietly inform them.

In the same way, helping someone out by helping them get beyond wrong thinking is in the end, the kindest thing to do. Even if they are not receptive, they still incorporate it into their thinking, starting the process.

Being right is a positive, while letting someone continue with being wrong is not kind. Its being so worried about being liked, a person would rather let someone walk around with booger dangling.

If you want to help someone get beyond wrong thinking in a lasting and significant way you're going to have to put some serious thought into it. Your going to have to be cognisant of their mood and mindset...and you're going to have to wait for the right moment and be ready when it comes if you want to reach them in a meaningful way.

You also need to be prepared that they won't ever change as well.

Some ppl never learn...

Oh, I know. My husband of 30 years recently died from alcoholisn after we had been separated for well over a year. But my method has worked well with my adult children. Addressing a problem when it happens basically just becomes arguing....but saving up what I want to say, and saying it calmly and at the right time has proven to be very effective.

originally posted by: MichiganSwampBuck
There is a time to share information, a time to listen and not talk, and a time to say, "You're full of crap and I'm not going to hear it."

Happened just tonight to me. Should have thought about the piece he was carrying I suppose, didn't think about that too much.

Yep...you don't bring an intellectual discussion to a gun fight.

originally posted by: Blaine91555
a reply to: MissSmartypants

There's only a couple of reasons anyone should ever dole out advice to another person. That person is a friend, or their actions impacting you.

Interfering with or giving advice to people that don't meet that criteria is just being a busybody and a narcissist.

Truth is demonstrable always. Bad advice is cheap.

There is a difference between trying to help someone see they are wrong and trying to brainwash them into seeing it your way.

Of course. Thank you for pointing out the obvious.

originally posted by: LeoStarchild
a reply to: MissSmartypants

Does it feel good to be a fake? That's not helpful to anyone.

You aren't fooling anyone.

When my son is upset, I tell him the truth about his emotion and help him understand how to release that emotion after a little bit. Never good to hold on to that. That is real help/love/empathy

*For the record I know I'm an a** hole. Please take a good long stiff look in the mirror *couldn't help myself

second edit - I realized I chose the wrong word to describe you. I meant to use narcissist

is it still narcissism if you truly are ' all that and a bag of chips'? If so, then guilty as charged.

a reply to: MissSmartypants

I disagree, the right thing to do is by in it's own definition, the right thing to do.

Being nice, compassionate, insightful, kind, and just good in general isn't always the right thing to do.

And when I say to be sympathetic I don't mean sympathetic as in I think they're right...but sympathetic as in here is a fellow human in emotional distress, whether it's of their own making or not. A person is much more likely to take advice from someone that they know is nonjudgmental, cares about them, and has their best interests at heart.