Mom stories my mom is cooler than your mom

I have to say it. My mom is cooler than your mom.

First let me paint you a picture of my mom. She is 4’9” and 90lbs soaking wet. Dark short old lady curls. Eyes so black they could pierce your soul. Almost every grown man is terrified of her.

She bought a new car and ordered a special accessory for it. Weeks went by and the dealer made every excuse about why it hadn’t arrived. More weeks passed by and they kept blowing her off. Lordy, they had no clue who they were messing with. She gave them one last chance, they laughed. She didn’t have her order, or money, and that’s not how she operates.

She drove her new car right up to the dealership and blocked the entire entrance of it with her car, got out and smoked a cigarette. They told her they were calling the cops. She said go ahead, she would call the news, and arresting a old woman wouldn’t be good for their business.

She got her money back.

I have tons of stories like these. I was embarrassed when I was a teen. Now I know my mom was/is a total bad az!

Let’s hear your stories I know you have some! Maybe my mom isn’t the coolest, but she is to me

a reply to: JAGStorm

Sounds like someone I'd like.

People like these were the founders of our world.

My mum was somewhat different. Very quiet and unassuming. She'd get her way, but you'd think it was your idea.

She was a court reporter in a world where the best in the business were all men, but she always bested them, without big-noting herself. She was always the standard of femininity but was a 'quiet feminist' who won arguments with gentle logic.

She had awards for the speed and accuracy of her shorthand and stenography. She authored the biographies of judges and politicians. They requested her specifically, long after she had retired.

She loved words, she'd do the hardest cryptic crosswords in minutes (you don't see those any more. I wonder if we've 'dumbed down' since then). I'm fairly sure she had a vocabulary larger than anyone else I have ever met. She'd hear all these legal and medical terms in court and then go off to find out how to spell them and what they meant.

Sometimes I thought I could hear her thoughts and she mine. Perhaps we could. There were many times when we were physically separate but able to converse, at least in my recollection (I was a very imaginative child, though).

Today, we are on different continents but I wish we could be together. This lockdown has separated us for longer than we'd hoped but will soon be coming to an end. I've saved enough to bring the extended family back together but my mum & dad are very old now. I miss them at times like these.

Cheers to all the mums who made life, well, life!

a reply to: JAGStorm

Your description at the beginning had me picturing Carla from Cheers.

a reply to: JAGStorm

My mom may not be cooler than yours, but she is a freaking force of nature! 89 years old and like the Energizer Bunny! She does her own yard work, cooks a spread of food like an army is coming to dinner, and makes everyone around her feel loved and worth her time and attention.

I do have a couple of funny stories...

We say she created the first drive thru restaurant in the 60's. She got her high heel shoe tangled in the brake and drove thru the plate glass window at the Tastee Freeze, right up to the counter. No one was hurt, but boy was she embarrassed!

In her 60's while working at Belks, she chased a shoplifter out of the store and down the street, hollering all the while, until they dropped the goods and fled. Merchandise recovered! The cops were shocked at her tenacity and jokingly offered her a job, haha.

Back when grocery stores still asked you, "paper or plastic?" she was standing at the register fumbling thru her purse for her wallet when she thought she heard that question. "Either one is fine," she answered. Pulling out her wallet, she realized the dead silence around her, and glanced up to see that she was looking into the barrel of a gun, and a thug hollered, "I SAID GET AGAINST THE WALL!"
"OOOH!" she said as she joined the other terrified shoppers and employees against the far wall, while two guys cleaned out the registers and fled.

These stories and so many more... just Mom being Mom!

originally posted by: Macenroe82
a reply to: JAGStorm

Your description at the beginning had me picturing Carla from Cheers.

Yes, but meaner!

a reply to: new_here

We say she created the first drive thru restaurant in the 60's. She got her high heel shoe tangled in the brake and drove thru the plate glass window at the Tastee Freeze, right up to the counter. No one was hurt, but boy was she embarrassed!

That is awesome you are still telling the story!

a reply to: JAGStorm

You win!

Your mom is cooler than mine!!

My mom abandoned me when I was 4 years old.

originally posted by: Macenroe82
a reply to: JAGStorm

Your description at the beginning had me picturing Carla from Cheers.

I don't know why I had Salma Hayek in my mind.

a reply to: Trueman

I don't know why I had Salma Hayek in my mind.

Oh in her younger days she was quite the beauty.

My mother was very prim and proper, raised us with a rod of iron, she would suffer no blaspheming and was an avid chapel goer.
One day, when she was about 60, she got into a fight with a younger mother over my brothers girlfriend. She came back into the house, pleased as punch, as if shed just won the Purple Heart, and proudly announced that she had won the fight by kicking the other woman (in her words) straight in the c###.
The silence that followed that remark was deafening till she realised what she had just said. From then on butter wouldn't melt in her mouth, but every so often we would remind her and the whole family would break down in tears of laughter.

originally posted by: crayzeed

One day, when she was about 60, she got into a fight with a younger mother over my brothers girlfriend. She came back into the house, pleased as punch, as if shed just won the Purple Heart, and proudly announced that she had won the fight by kicking the other woman (in her words) straight in the c###.
r.

You win. Your mom takes the title. This scene belongs in a movie. I don’t know what kind of movie but it is too good not to share with the world.

I dont know if my mom was cooler than any of yours, but she is terrifying nonetheless!

My mom was born in on the Blackfeet reservation in Montana. Both of my parents were, but I was born in Louisiana.. long story. Now, my mom since Ive known her is a very proper and soft spoken woman. She got religion on the rez and became a Calvinist, no joke. So I was raised very strict and to be a very proper lady. My dad was wild as a hare and had a reputation of being VERY unpredictable and marching to his own orchestra.. so when Id get a wild hair and do something crazy, it was ALWAYS blamed on my dad. You know, because mom was a saint.

I went to visit family in MOntana with my parents and it was kind of a family reunion, but we are all someones cousin on the rez anyway. People drink ( not saint mom though) and tongues loosen. I got into a fight with a cousin and it got physical and I grabbed him by his hair and smacked him into a wheel barrel. My mom literally flew at me and started screaming about my conduct and blah blah. My aunt ( not pinworm bitch for those who may recall my pinworm trauma) came over and told her to get off of me because she had NO room to talk. Aunt then told me how her and a few girls ... including my demure saintly mother... went to get revenge on a girl who was talking smack and spreading rumors. They kidnapped this girl in the trunk of my grandfathers car and took her to the lodge bathrooms and TIED her to the toilet and whooped the hell out of her.. left her there. Whooped and tied to the toilet... AND IT WAS MY MOTHERS IDEA!

Now I was like 13... and from that moment on I knew a devil was bubbling just under my mothers calm surface waters. It was a terrifying revelation to me and I never looked at her the same. I also curbed my smart ass mouth because I didnt want the toilet treatment. I also discovered it wasnt my dad that I inherited my meanest of mean streaks.. it was my mom!!