Marvels ‘new’ new warriors

Marvel has released some info on its newest superhero’s.
All I can think is that the people At marvel are completely clueless.

The new set of hero’s seems to be more worried inclusiveness than any other feature.
Let’s explore the new characters, shall we?

Screentime
A kid that was exposed to his grandfathers “internet gas”.........has the ability to google facts really fast.
Sounds amazing...

B-negative
A goth vampire with the usual generic powers like superhuman strength and speed with fast healing powers.
A real groundbreaker

Trailblazer
A fat kid with a magic backpack that is a pocket dimension allowing her to pull out useful objects.
Yawn...

And the final two,,, also my very favorites.

Snowflake and safe space.......wow
Psychic twins..

Snowflake is non binary going by they/them with the ability to make snowflake based throwing weapons.

Safe space is a male that is capable of making forcefields but can only produce them when he’s protecting someone.
Basically if he’s alone he will be useless and get his butt kicked.


Well that’s quite the lineup.
In all honesty I really don’t care what marvel decides to sell but I really gotta wonder...
Who is their target audience?

I don’t think this one will do very well and will it really be a surprise to anyone when it fails?


Anyone looking forward to this new comic?

www.marvel.com...

a reply to: Bluntone22

I thought this was a joke..

Trailblazer.. i think that is fatshaming or something.. Not very PC..

I'm depressed...

I could not stop laughing while reading these character descriptions... an overweight Dora, a meme lord, non-binary twins in pink tights... who else could create these characters but a writer for the Stephen Colbert show.

I can't imagine why their comics are tanking so hard.

This is good man, I’m an independent artist maybe I can put my stuff out there besides theirs and get paid

Yeah, me, too. I'm reading this and thinking, "This belongs in the Jokes, puns, & pranks forum, but then I click through the link and ... Nope. It's real.

If you made this up and a joke, it'd be so stupid that it wouldn't even be funny.

I have been saying for a long time that when a culture gets to the point where it becomes difficult to distinguish between reality and satire, we're pretty much hosed. This is an excellent example. 10, 5 years ago this would have been a joke. Now, there are actually people who take it seriously.

I weep for this culture. But it is interesting, watching it go down in flames.

So, the soyboy author, Mr. Kibblesmith, thought, when he was an adolescent, that comic book characters "too cool" for him.

Mmm-hmm. If I thought that a cartoon character was "too cool" for me, I don't know that I';d find much reason to stay on this earth any longer.

There's a video. I was going to link to it here but ... Nah. Go do something more useful and productive. Like, scrape that smelly dirt that forms under your toenails.

Seriously, it's like it should be satire, but it's not.

I just can't get over this. And not in a good way.
:

originally posted by: Puppylove
I'm depressed...

Imagine how I feel

What I wouldn't give for a Cosmic Cube right now.

This is just horrible!!

Seriously Snowflake and Safespace...

Oh and I own Original New Warriors #1 (and a good portion of the series)

a reply to: Bluntone22


Just wait to you see their main Villian:

CIS White Man.

He's Evil, but he doesn't even know it........

originally posted by: solve
a reply to: Bluntone22

I thought this was a joke..

Trailblazer.. i think that is fatshaming or something.. Not very PC..

I thought a trailblazer was someone who was running for the porta but was failing at holding it in while doing so.

originally posted by: pavil
a reply to: Bluntone22


Just wait to you see their main Villian:

CIS White Man.

He's Evil, but he doesn't even know it........

Patriarchy man?

male man?

Either way he will be rich and white, likely with a soft spot for the color orange...lol

Let me guess, they fight the likes of the evil droid
T.A.R.D.* and his henchman Ree.

I was really hoping it was a bad joke. I expect it to be a short run but who really knows?



*Tactical Assault Reconnaissance Droid

Why do I get the feeling this was supposed to be biting satire but somebody took them seriously.