The Most Popular Theories Behind Coronavirus

Good afternoon, ATS!

I know, I know... Another Coronavirus thread! But bear with me, as I believe it is important to explore some theories concerning the virus, through the magical lens of popular culture. Some of this is slightly adapted.

Theory #1- The Happening

Main points- Nature is pissed. Turns out that eating all of the fuzzy woodland creatures, even the ones obviously meant to be left alone (flying rats, venomous snakes, etc.), has upset the planet so badly that it retaliates against the people who wronged it. Spreading quickly, it aims to teach us lessons about disrespecting natural boundaries by giving us the Coronavirus. People struggle to first believe in the virus as it spreads through the air, then quickly panic as they have no idea how to survive without Netflix.

Key takeaway- Social distancing (turns out that gatherings of 10 or more leads to death. Who knew?)



Theory #2- Aliens
Main points- Nobody believed the Coronavirus danger. Commerce is too important to stop, and even if the danger is real, big corporations want to weaponize the threat. Poor space truckers and small business owners are the first victims, but it soon moves to the military. Even our infrared trackers can't keep it at bay... Quarantine is the only answer!

Key takeaways- The virus can enter through your face, and then hibernate inside you until it's too late! Oh, and kids are apparently safer than the rest of us.



Theory #3- Friday
Main points- A normal day in the neighborhood is upended, as cabin fever kicks in. Coronavirus. Damn. Both Pharma distributors, and delivery guys are getting their butts handed to them. Chaos reigns as the average person is unprepared for change in their lives, and money doesn't seem to go as far as it should.

Key takeaway- Turns out that you can lose your job on your day off!



Theory #4- Airplane!
Main points- Did you eat the weird menu option? Noticing a strange sickness that is spreading throughout your flight? It might be Coronavirus. Insanity ensues as panic follows sickness, which follows authorities not telling us enough information. No one is safe, not even a guitar strumming nun. Don't worry though, in the end the professionals will ensure there are enough masks for everyone.

Key takeaway- Air travel puts you at higher risk for getting sick. Oh, and DON'T PANIC!!



Theory #5- The Village
Main points- A mysterious threat (Coronavirus) is keeping us in our homes, where we are slowly reverting to a world without modern comforts. Death is the new normal, and soon, basic medical care will be like magic. Don't forget the ban on air travel, and the conspiracy by the unelected authorities where in critical information is hoarded.

Key takeaway- Walls work! Unless, of course, the medicine is on the other side.



Theory #6- Counterpart
Main points- Two Earths. Two J.K. Simmons. But only one of us has a sickness that will transform the way we act as a society. Soon, civil liberties are lost, as 2-4% of the population dies from a mysterious illness. It becomes a crime to gather socially, and to hide sickness. But at least we are alive, right?

Key takeaway- This one is a little too spot on. Except the two J.K. Simmons. I'd like that.




Have a day, everyone! And keep your mouth holes to yourself!
TAG

a reply to: ThouArtGod

Ummm...my pet theory about this whole debacle is...

The virus is being used as a cover for the planned extreme market corrections we're all witnessing...

A globally orchestrated...freefall...slow-motion market crash...

Then keep the MSM and the minds of the populace focused on Covid 19...


That's my opinion and I'm sticking with it...





YouSir

a reply to: YouSir

I believe that to be a valuable and realistic theory. It’s better than;

Theory #7- The Fast and the Furious
Main points- Underground Asian hangouts breed a threat only few select government agents will discuss. Distribution lines are disrupted. Mothballed military bases are suddenly being used or repurposed? Young people ignore warnings and congregate anyway?

Key takeaway- Vin Diesel shares Corona whenever he can.

a reply to: ThouArtGod

A front for the effects, an increasing schumann resonance has on unharmonic body mind and soul.

Since the first measurement it was steady between 6 Hz and 9Hz but
It has been off the charts from time to time in the last year, with peaks up to 150 Hz, and since December 2019 these peaks are much more regular.

Sincerely NC

a reply to: NoConspiracy

Ummmm... what?

Seriously. Is this a reference I’m not getting?

a reply to: ThouArtGod

Its all kind of obvious looking back.

They are coming for your guns, now more than ever. Is a catastrophic event imminent?

a reply to: ThouArtGod

Well it's not popular, and it's no reference.

What is it you don't get?

Sincerely NC

a reply to: ThouArtGod

Okay- here’s one that might strike closer to home;

Theory #8- Footloose
Main Points- Things have changed in a small midwestern town, all because of an unexpected death. But rather than look at the cause, the young people are ignoring their elders, and their onerous restrictions. No gathering? No drinking? No dancing?! Up yours, Corona.

Key takeaway- Montages can help speed us through the hard parts of life.

I think I need to stop trying to entertain you folks.

On a side note, I needed to go to three stores (5 stores in 2 days) to get ground beef today, and only got some due to early entry for active duty at the commissary.

My theory is China is just a sniphole country that too much crap comes out of.

Bad actors from politicos,main stream hacks,and Soroseque types took advantage of.

Theory #10 What about Bob?

Main points. Psychiatrist takes in a new patient, but has plans to go on vacation. The social inept and bipolar patient stalks Psychiatrist and becomes a family hero, marries Psychologists sister and all the while causing the psychiatrist to become ironically schizophrenic.

Key takeaway - Assume all people have the virus, and assume it follows you.

a reply to: 38181

Good one! Remember, just because you’re paranoid, doesn’t mean they aren’t after you...