Do you recall how your thought life developed as a child?

Hi ATS,

I read another thread on here the other day, regarding the way in which we become 'conscious' as kids, as in how & at what time in our lives did we become self-aware. The discussion was interesting, but it sparked questions in my mind as I thought back to that time of my life, from around the age of 2/3/4/5 yrs old. A friend of ours was round at our house a few days ago, and asked a similar question, regarding when she became self-aware as a child of around four years old. She stated that she remembers trying to communicate something to her mother, being frustrated because she couldn't grasp properly at the concepts she was attempting to refer to in that situation, finding herself unable to process the language complexity which would have been needed in order to communicate the need more appropriately.

This got me thinking of how my own thought life developed as a child, in terms of whether I was able to communicate at a young age & so on. Firstly, at the age of two, I recall playing football with boys who seemed much bigger & older than myself, within the confines of the grounds of a building which was located on a military base (Royal Air Force).

It turned out that they were around six years old, apparently, though they seemed like giants to me at that age. Anyway, I remember very clearly thinking in complex terms about what was going on - I fell over the ball once, didn't hurt (I started playing again straight away) but I remember being sent to the reception of the strange medical/ childcare facility at which I was playing (in a sparse garden area outside at the front of the building). Later on I was told that I'd broken my leg, but looking back that seemed very doubtful as there was no pain, no obvious impact or bending of the leg (I had fallen on my backside). After the alleged break, I walked into the building under my own steam & stood on tiptoes without discomfort trying to look over the desk to see the receptionist. So this little point of note is a bit of an oddity in the story & doesn't make sense & seems contrived as an originating incident, but there is still more strangeness. I was experiencing complex thought about the situation, and was told to wait outside for my mother to come & collect me. This seemed curious to me, as I did not recall having had a mother beforehand. I was simply told that she was coming, and I was to wait outside for her. When she arrived, the moment was memorable due to the setting sun being directly behind her, as she walked up the hill she arrived 'over the horizon' so to speak, with the golden sunlight of late afternoon crowning her with a halo as she gradually appeared. I remember being confused, but trusting what I had been told, I went with her. I do not remember the apparent visit to hospital, which is supposed to have taken place immediately.

Moving on, I found that at the age of 3/4/5, I was having complex thoughts about all manner of things, and I remember being intensely frustrated when parents or other adults would speak to me as though I were too young to understand whatever situation was being referred to. This was so common, and occurred in tandem with my own developing perspectives of apparent reincarnation, in that I could vaguely remember a distant & magical life, in realms which were nothing short of fantastical. TV programmes such as Ulyssees, Mysterious Cities of Gold & Thundercats all gave me intense flashback nostalgia, as though I could remember a time when the mystery & magical phenomena of such programmes really seemed to speak into my spirit, that somehow I was accessing stored memories of another life - or many lives. My dreams, which began to occur around the age of 5 yrs old (such that I remember them today), began to demonstrate further connections & high strangeness - I was subjected to a torturous medical/ abduction experience on one occasion, in which something was apparently inserted into the nerve meridians of my left arm, causing lifelong pain of a deep neuropathic nature at the exact spot where I could feel their needles being inserted. There was a needle which was pushed into my right eyeball, at which point I blacked out due to the trauma. Accompanying this was a memory of several people in white coats, some with specialist equipment, some supervising - none of whom had the least bit of compassion for the 5yr old child they were tormenting.

There's a stack more I could add to this bizarre tale, but for now I'd simply like to ask the question - how did your own thought life come into being? Was it in incremental stages? Did you wrestle with the formation of complex reasoning & communication? Or did you find that from your earliest years, you fully understood myriad aspects of the world, as in my case in which it seemed I had carried over some adult reasoning capabilities, and as a result becoming massively frustrated at being patronised as 'just a kid'..? My own life seems to be the culmination of a journey, as though it is the final act, with the curtains being readied to close on the production any time now. I believe my former lifetimes (none of which I remember with clarity, except for snippets in dreams & occasional visions) have led me to this point, such that there is a connection between what is happening in the world, and what is happening in the lives of those who do remember other lives fulfilled.

I am intrigued to see where this journey takes us from here...

a reply to: FlyInTheOintment

After the alleged break, I walked into the building under my own steam & stood on tiptoes without discomfort trying to look over the desk to see the receptionist.

You really want us to believe that you did this at the age of TWO?! How tall were you that you thought you could peer over the top of a receptionist's desk? You didn't remember having a mother? Or a broken leg? Maybe you had a concussion. None of this makes any sense to me.

a reply to: FlyInTheOintment
I remember lying in the cot and plotting how to get out of it. I wrote a thread;
Babies understanding human speech

The essence of the thought-process was;
"I want to get out of this cot.
The trouble is, I can’t manage that thing which lets down the side [A simple hook-and-eye catch, I know from later observation]
But if I cry, somebody will come and do it for me.
So I will cry."

a reply to: FlyInTheOintment

I remember distinctly realizing one day that there was things I would experience or know, such as my own thoughts, that nobody else would ever know or experience, likewise I realized there were things in the world I would never experience.or know about. I dunno how old I was 5 or 6 or something.

I certainly had what OP's friend struggled with. I must have been ~1 1/2 as I was in my high chair. I watched my mum grinding coffee beans, whilst crying about money problems. She said at one point how lucky I was to be still a small child with no problems.
I understood everything and wanted to let her know but I also knew that a) I wouldn't be able to express myself properly but more weird that b) If I did, I would break some sort of agreement or taboo. So I just made silly babble noises and got a hug.

The other was long before that. I'm in my baby basket facing the living room wall. I wanted to hit those little rattle things strung up before me and was amazed when my arm didn't quite do what I planned, it was weird, then I remembered that I was a new baby and even worse that I couldn't do anything yet and that it would take about two years for me to even walk and talk. This seemed like an awful long time. Then the memory fades. But I remember both vividly and have always talked about them.

I am fascinated by this phenomenon.

a reply to: Deetermined

You really want us to believe that you did this at the age of TWO?! How tall were you that you thought you could peer over the top of a receptionist's desk?

Please note that I said I TRIED to look over the reception desk.

a reply to: FlyInTheOintment

You really want us to believe that you walked into a medical facility by yourself and that the facility would leave you by yourself to wait for your mother (outside no less) at the age of two?

originally posted by: Deetermined
a reply to: FlyInTheOintment

You really want us to believe that you walked into a medical facility by yourself and that the facility would leave you by yourself to wait for your mother (outside no less) at the age of two?

Bloody hell, you split hairs over misunderstood sentences. From what I gathered they were in some sort of barracks or something. Also I used to be out with other kids at 2 years old. MAybe wherever this happened was a safer place. Also 2 year olds aren't complete idiots. I walked into a shop in France [camping holiday in the 70s] and looked around on my own because I could.

If you don't believe in this then read another thread, you can't tell people who remember this to just sod it and forget, especially when you misunderstand most of that what is written.

I remember being circumcised. I also remember hurrying up and peeing before mother could put a new diaper on me. I hated that wet feeling.

Strange, but I also remember not being able to breathe properly, and a voice said it's because I'm not ready yet, just relax and go back to sleep, I'll be out soon.

Wow, those are some memories!!
One of my earliest was in 1960, I was 3, and I wanted a glass of chocolate milk. My parents were going to a movie, (one of the only times they both got away from us kids,) and grandmom was gonna watch us. They didnt have time to make chocolate milk, so they poured a cup of regular milk for me, then left to greet grandmom who was coming up the walk. I was so angry I poured the milk down the kitchen sink drain! I have not had any regular milk from a cup since that time. Sure I've had cereal, but never a cup of milk in 60 years.
It's funny how these things come up, I just spoke of this memory to my 2 older brothers this last Sunday during our weekly skype!
Jeez, what a coincidence!

I remember being given a bath in the kitchen sink by my grandmother, I was still small enough to fit so maybe 2 years old? I recall thinking a bath in a sink was odd.

Over the next few years I became more aware of things, like 3-4 years old I heard everything was made out of atoms and molecules, and at a museum remember things the atoms etc in these objects witnessed things 100's of years ago and thought that was amazing.

When I went to bed at night I'd listen to my heartbeat and breathing. For every beat of my heart I imagined a man walking up a spiral staircase in a lighthouse, it helped me fall asleep. Then, would picture a TV with snow on it and the static that comes with that, and was able to enter a meditative state.

Still really young, I would repeat in my head every night that I wanted to be aware when I was dreaming. Took weeks but I finally could be aware and control my dreams

a reply to: FlyInTheOintment

Yes man. But, nothing in our life takes place in abstract "holographia-spacetime" in our brain, that's just made up woo. So our childhood is part of what our life became in the universe, and things that happened outside our brains. Just like the keys I'm tapping now, the brother sitting next to me - it's all happening OUTSIDE my brain, and has objective basis in reality, since direct realism is true.

Hate by other humans made me self aware....or at least, self conscious.

a reply to: PhillipsMarc

Yes man. But, nothing in our life takes place in abstract "holographia-spacetime" in our brain, that's just made up woo.

So says you! Of course direct realism is true - where did I say it wasn't? I was talking about reincarnation, and weird memories which don't make much sense via a surface reading. And I firmly believe that 'holographia-spacetime' is perfectly real within the constructs our minds produce in the night-time, and remarkably intelligent & adept scientists such as Roger Penrose* & Rudolph Sheldrake pitch some marvellous theories connected to this subject. We have various neurological/neurochemical adaptations which suggest that the brain is the vehicle of consciousness to enact its dance in the universe of which it is a part. But the consciousness itself is somehow elevated beyond the brain mechanisms themselves, though bound in some sense to its outworkings. Hence children with learning difficulties are incredibly limited in what they can say & do, in tragic ways in many cases. But their consciousness is not flawed, it is just as perfect/imperfect as any one of us, only bound by the astral car which is the brain, our interface for existence in the universe we know - and limited by any warping or breakdown in its processes.

(*Penrose in particular, suggests that consciousness is facilitated by the quantum effects occurring in micro-tubules within parts of the pre-frontal cortex, and has also voiced support for the idea that our brains actually compute the reactions to our somatic systems by creating complex models of mathematical dimensional interaction which stack up & then dissipate like sandcastles on the beach, though occurring with astonishing speed..)

My son has a specific communication disorder which limits him in certain ways, and could very well cause him huge problems if he was born of parents who couldn't or wouldn't try to understand him as a person, despite the difficulties he experiences in communicating who that person truly is. He finds it impossible to truly project his inner self in a way that makes sense to him & to others, though his grammar is good & his intellect sound in the sense of being able to process & learn new information/ knowledge logically, in his own time. I know that when we reunite with loved ones in the hereafter, when our consciousness moves on from this world of shifting shadows, then we all will be as we always were - perfect, yet having been limited by our human condition as fallen creatures when we lived on Earth - equally having found it impossible to project the truest expression of our self if we had any physiological or neurological impairment while living on Earth.

a reply to: FlyInTheOintment

My first memory of my mother was her changing my diaper and me staring at her, she looked back and smiled.

Thereafter, it was child's play and school, where I daydreamed most of the time and was reprimanded for it.

Moving forward, I excelled in Math and was excellerated in school and thereafter I became bored and daydreamed again.

Am I a daydream believer?

originally posted by: InTheLight
a reply to: FlyInTheOintment


Am I a daydream believer?

Or a homecoming queen

originally posted by: vlawde

originally posted by: InTheLight
a reply to: FlyInTheOintment


Am I a daydream believer?

Or a homecoming queen

Yes, both may be true.

Well, you forced me to have to post that song. yay...



Cheer up, daydream believer.

a reply to: Deetermined

I stepped into a circular clothing rack at a K-Mart and hid from my mother. When she finally wandered off to look for me elsewhere, I walked out and left through the opposite exit. I have no idea where I was going, mind you, but I was going.

A year or so later I packed a small bag and "moved out" of her house while she was talking on the phone in the kitchen. I was only about three-and-a-half and the bag was a lot for me, so I didn't get far before she started screaming for me to come home. I hid under a neighbors porch by carefully moving the aluminum slide on a piece of mobile home siding.

Two and three-year-olds do some pretty amazing stuff if you bother to watch them. Or, if you don't.

originally posted by: BoscoMoney
Hate by other humans made me self aware....or at least, self conscious.

Terrible, I hope you have found friends here.

a reply to: FlyInTheOintment

I do find these early stories amazing and believable. Even though I personally have my earliest recollections at an apparent late 5 years of age. I have to believe that the trauma that occurred at that age overwhelmed previous memories. Even those that I have seen captured on film and reel movies.

My first early memory was in a mobile home located on my grandparents land. My mom and dad were fighting. My dad was bashing my mother around into counters and cabinets in the kitchen area. She was was bleeding from her head nose and mouth. Yet kept yelling at me to go outside and play. I didn't I ran in grabbing my dad by his pants and shirt and was held up in the air shakened by him.

That is all I remember there until the next traumatic experience, same year and place...was a German shepherd dog that my oldest brother and friends tortured bit one of them. The neighbor was allowing my dad to put it down by shooting it. I was horrified by this! When I seen my dad bring his pistol out, I ran crying in amongst the crowd and through my arms around this growling barking dog in order to save it. In fear, the dog snapped out and bit me in the face. I still have those scars. I never realized the blood nor pain, I was crying too much as others pulled me away and I watched my dad step forward and point his gun. Bang! Yelp!

At 6 years....Egad, I have no need to go on... Trust me... My childhood sucked.

I will point out one thing that may be on subject or off, not sure. At 12 years of age, I had my first gran mall seizure after an extreme fever over 107 degrees. My mother told me of my crazy speech...she thought at 12 I went to hell from the horror on my face and descriptions I have given her. Admittedly, as a child, this scared the bejesus out of me!!!

Later, I had a vision and realized and understood my 'hallucination' was not me going to hell...but my memory of passing through the birth canal and being born. So to be honest, I am still on the fence. My hallucination may have been my earliest memory overall or simply another traumatic rationalization.

All and all...life and memory is quirky a d amazingly everyone has an truly dimensional memory to share.