Homer and Bart Quotes

Homer : Mmmmm ... 64 slices of American cheese. 64 (munch munch munch) ... 63 (munch munch munch) (cut to much later) Homer : 2 ... (munch munch munch) ... 1 (munch munch munch)
Marge : Homer, have you been up all night eating cheese?
Homer : I think I'm blind.

One of my all-time favorite quotes...with Burns and smithers hanging from the ceiling above him.

Glad it made you smile.

Thanks for the smile!

Groundskeeper Willie: [after Milhouse moves out of town, Skinner and Willie are shocked to learn that Bart and Lisa have become best friends] It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!
Principal Skinner: You Scots sure are a contentious people.
Groundskeeper Willie: You just made an enemy for life!


[Homer wearing a beer keg on his head]
Homer: Look at me! I'm the Prime Minister of Ireland.


Marge: It's the Seven Horsemen of the Apocolypse. Bart are you wearing clean underwear?
Bart: Not anymore.

ROFL....


They are good ones....Thanks

Abe: Looking at that tired old freak has made me realize I'm no spring chicken myself. I can feel death's clammy hand on my shoulder... wait, that's my hand.

Lisa: It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you.
Abe: It's rotten being old. No one listens to you.
Homer: I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are!

Abe: I shouldn't be listening to complaints - I should be making them with you guys! The good Lord lets us grow old for a reason: to gain the wisdom to find fault with everything He's made.

"I used to be With IT. But then they changed what IT was. Now what I'm with isn't IT, and what's IT seems scary and wierd. It'll happen to YOU." -- Abe Simpson

Grandpa: Are we there yet?
Homer: No
Grandpa: Are we there yet?
Homer: No
Grandpa: Are we there yet?
Homer: No
Grandpa: ........Where are we going?

Grandpa:My son is not a sexual harasser....he may be fat, balding, lonely, a sexual harraser,but he is not a communist

Simpson fans..here is some more...

Gime? What is a Gime? [Reading the 'GYM' board].

Marge : The monkey is on my part of the sofa.
Homer : Marge, he is just marking his territory.

[Homer, Burns and Smithers are fleeing from the govt. with the trillion dollar bill in a helicopter
Smithers : Wait, we're on the international waters now.
Homer : Ooh hoo! we can gamble now. [throws dice in the backseat].

Mr Burns, I think we can trust the PRESIDENT of CUBA!!!

Burns : If loving one's country is a crime, I am guilty of that. If stealing a trillion dollar bill from our govt. and handing it to the communist Cuba is a crime, then I am guilty of it. If bribing a jury is a crime, then help me, I'll soon be guilty of that too.
Homer : [gets up and salutes] God bless America!

Scientist : You find something people need and invent something to satisfy that need.
Homer : like ...
Scientist : Or take something that exists and find a new use for it.
Homer : HAMBURGER EARMUFFS!!!.....ROFL

Marge : Homey, you made breakfast.
Homer : Nothing is good enough for my sweety. [then feeds the eggs and bacon to the lobster in the fish tank]. ... Eat eat ... you are all skin and bones.

See ... together we weigh 300 lbs. According to my driver's licence, I weigh 130 lbs. That means you weigh ... ... 460 lbs. Oh! good! [Homer with his pet lobster].

They put us on the waiting list for 'Waiting to exhale'. But they told us not to hold our breath. [Homer and Bart getting some action videos].

They are singing, Theya are singing, Marge,

Homer : This is the worst party ever.
Marge : No, remember that New Year party at Lenny's? He didn't even have a clock! You can't blame them for having social conscience.
Homer : Those no good do-gooders.

Oh crap! it's a girl's car. I can't drive this.


Oh! Jesus, Allah, Buddha, I love you all. [Homer being chased by rhinos].

[Homer at the sci-fi convention]
Mark Hamill : Who are you?
Homer : Homer Simpson, nerd-buster.

Homer : I want a brownie.
Marge : After dinner .
Homer : I want dinner.

Oh my friend, we knew this day would come. Say good bye to your brother. [to his severed thumb].

I am sorry. I thought he was a party robot. [after pouring beer into Lisa's science project robot].

Man : Somebody stole my wheels.
Homer : Thanks a lot. Now I have to walk to Shelbyville.

Air port tax 5 dollars?!? .... grrrrhhh ... waive it. [shakes his fist].

Stupid anti-fist-shaking laws.

Oh I get it. When I was crushing and killing you, I was a bad guy. Now when I have to save your lives, I am Mr.Popular.
Lenny : That's pretty much it.
Homer : Oo whoo! I am Mr.Popular! [Homer, the Paul Bunyan].

You guys are the greatest friends a giant doofus can have. [Homer the Paul Bunyan].

Lisa : Dad, you just shot a poor defenseless buffalo.
Homer : Poor, DELICIOUS buffalo. [shoots another buffalo].
Lisa : Why did you shoot another one?
Homer : Desert. [Lisa as Connie Appleseed].


Lisa : Dad, look what I found!
Homer : Vow Buffalo testicles! [eats them].
Lisa : No, they are apples.
Homer : Ah! apples? ... awk ... [spits it out].

Homer : Oh, Connie was right. I've extinguished a whole species. What have I done ... what have I done? [after shooting all the buffalos].
Bart : Dad , look there are two left.
Homer : [shoots them both] ... Oh what have I done ... what have I done?

[Homer reviews a Mel Gibson movie 'Mr.Smith goes to Washington']
Your movie was more boring than the church. All you did was yak yak yak. You did not shoot anybody. It was fine for the 1930s. The country was doing well then. Now whatever year this is, people want action.

Mel Gibson : I am getting too old for this crap.
Homer : How old are you?
Mel Gibson : Well, I've been told I could play anywhere between 28 ...
Homer : Sorry I asked.

Abe Simpson - now my story beings in nineteen dickity two. We had to say dickity cause the kaiser had stolen our word twenty. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickity six miles.... dickity, highly dubious... what you cackling at fatty? too much pie, thats your problem

Lisa: I could never kill someon
Grandpa: Youd be surprised at would you could do. I never thought I would be able to shoot down a german plane, but last year I proved myself wrong

These quotes arent exactly Homer or Bart.

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

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Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

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Homer: Hey boy! Wanna play catch?
Bart: No thanks dad.
Homer: When a son doesn't want to play catch with his father something is definitely wrong.
Grandpa Simpson: I'll play catch with you!
Homer: Go home.

Cant remeber the episode but it was just so random it made me laugh so much that i havnt forgot it. here goes:

You can dance
You can dance
everyone look at thier pants.

Simpsons

At the Mensa meeting
Lisa: My family never talks about library standards and every
time I try to steer the conversation that way they make
me feel like a nerd.
Comic BG: We are hardly nerds, would a nerd wear such an irreverent
sweatshirt?
Lisa: (Reading sweatshirt)
C:/DOS
C:/DOS/RUN
RUN/DOS/RUN
Ha, only one person in a million would find that funny.
Frink: Yes, we call that the Dennis Miller ratio.

Personally, I love both, watch both the "Simpsons" in the afternoons and Sundays, and "Futurama" at nights. I've been watching both shows since they originally aired. Either way, I LOVE MATT GROENING'S WORK!!!

Homer: "mmmmmmmmmm...dounts."

LOL

[edit on 3/31/05 by BSB2005]

Didnt Futurama get cancled? I think with the return of Family guy it can top the Simpsons.

"In your face, Space Coyote!"


*bump*


TheAssoc.

"Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers "

(Ralph Wiggum)


Come on, I know I'm not the only Simpsons fan out there.


TheAssoc.