Why Its Nigh Impossible To Understand Women!

FINE:
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut-up. Never use "fine" to describe how a women looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES:
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you should take the rubbish out, so that's an even trade.

NOTHING:
This means "something", and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine".

GO AHEAD:
(with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD
(normal eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I dont care". You will get a "Raised eyebrow go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed bt "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cool's off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but non-verbal statement, "Soft-Sighs" mean that she is content. your best bet here, is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow".

GO AHEAD
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say your welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks a Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she will only tell you "Nothing".


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well this is for the male side in here, my hubby was sent this via-an email from a good mate of his, thats probably why he doesnt have any female friends?


some good point though?

Although I've never met a man who understands women either, but then again, someone is going to say, that they dont want to understand women, fair-play to them!


blackwidow

Surely we're not all that bad BW.

Are we????????? Naaah

well I didnt think we was, but you know what men are like dont you?

some of it does sound familiar though?



blackwidow

After so long, us wise guys learn those bullet points and how to QUICKLY reckognize them or suffer!!

Now they'll change them all. Just to keep us on our toes.

too right, we cant let you blokes have an easy time of it...

Mind you, I think I'm quite easy to get along with. Just ask Booms.

99% of the time you are.

That's fair enough I suppose.

Thanks babe x

I have heard those words before...

And now I know exactly what they meant. Too bad it's too late now. As I only ever heard them when I was walking away...you see, I wanted to know how she felt. Too bad people are so concearned about hideing things...as thats all those words ever did. I want an open relationship, not some masked please don't make me say whats really on my mind because I would rather just save it up until I blow a gasket kind of relationship. So, woman, if you really love your guy. Speak to him, we have ears that are attached to a semi-functional organ of thought. Besides, isn't that what you would want to?

why do some women persist in continuing with passive-aggressive behaviour when it gets them nowhere? Maybe if both genders cut the crap and just communicated plainly, openly and honestly then we'd be saved all this 'men don't understand women yadda yadda yadda' and vice versa

I've known men display the above mentioned behaviour as well - it's immensely irritating!

Not many people have trouble understanding me - and I'm certainly all woman

[Edited on 9-7-2003 by arc]

I'm with the curved segment on this one.

It is generally easiest to be understood when you say what you mean and mean what you say.

And answer thoughtful questions in a helpful manner.

eg "What's troubling you?"
is not best answered with "Nothing".

So, all answers to inter-gender communications have been solved in one topic!??

Next question: How is a woman able to spend $2,000 on a small, purse-sized handbag?

You women are hard to understand is an understatment.
With us guys,

Lets go out and catch a movie
means, I wanna get laid

Lets go eat out
I wanna get laid

Lets talk about our relationship
I wanna get laid

Lets have kids
I just just wanna get laid.

Were easy to understand.
your not, Im having girl problems as it is, and its due to the fact that the girl is so stupid, she wont come straight and its so hard to understand her.
Deep
(and were not the one who take PMS PILLS )

well for a start, i didnt make the statements up myself, but they was done by a man.

but i agree with most of you, if you've got something to say, say it, dont pussy-foot around the houses, get on with it, am i right or am i right?



blackwidow

bah,
women are easy to read,
you just pat them on the butt, and tell them to get the dishes finished...




*ducks and runs for dear life, oh my god she's gunna shoot me ahhhh!!!! *

Totally agree with much that has been said...

...if either gender wants the other to have a hope of understanding them...then COMMUNICATE...openly and honestly...

...its not that hard is it...

agreed alien,
If i want to get laid, i don't hold back anything,
I just spit it out.
If i want something i go for it 100%, and i'm brutally honest.

most women can't handle that, those that can appreciate it.
Life's too short to pussyfoot around a subject and get all bent out of shape worrying what the other partner might think.

i don't play those games.

Women dont understand that as men we just want our women to cook and clean our house and get laid every so often.
as men we dont understand that women have these things called "Feelings", Im not to educated on that topic, and it could be some sorta of goverment coverup.
Inserting "Feelings" Into our women.
Its so hard to understand these "Feelings" women have, they dont make sense.
Deep

I dunno, i got plenty of feelings,
I let em out all the time,
If a woman cannot understand simple feelings, then i could care less. she's not intuitive enough to grasp the obvious. a smart girl is worth her weight in gold.

Originally posted by ZeroDeep
Women dont understand that as men we just want our women to cook and clean our house and get laid every so often.

...I'm really hoping you're joking with that comment...

Originally posted by Fury
agreed alien,
If i want to get laid, i don't hold back anything,
I just spit it out.
If i want something i go for it 100%, and i'm brutally honest.

most women can't handle that, those that can appreciate it.
Life's too short to pussyfoot around a subject and get all bent out of shape worrying what the other partner might think.

i don't play those games.

beautiful. Before we try to understand women we should try to understand ourselves.