If a man could never understand, why are we having a conversation?

I swear to Baphomet and all the like I'm not a prejudiced person. I was raised in Connecticut in a pretty progressive time, mostly female teachers and many of them empowered.

I went to Catholic classes and for sure created a guilt complex and the fact that I am a super duper empath perhaps on the spectrum, but hey who's measuring, made for an interesting mindset growing up and lingering to today (I am well into adulthood now).

When having a conversation with a female about the fact she got hit on by a "creepy" old guy which I witnessed and yes he made comments about her hair and things which made her feel uncomfortable, when I said that I "understood" I was given the response "I don't think you really do". This made me very upset because of my very empathic being and the fact I have trouble asking people for stuff they owe me because I feel how they feel in that moment I freeze. I understand I need to grow a set but also I feel that I have been bred to be understanding and not a brutish male character.

If I have done my damnedest to portray that I'm not a person after traditional beauty standards, that had been raised by women who have suffered through worse times than now, that truly tries to see things from the other side, and I have been ostrasized to say that I could never understand makes all this education and listening I did all for naught.

If the general belief is that no man could understand, we will never ever have equal relations.

I promise even through this I'm a feminist, so yeah I won't be buying you a drink

best times of your life having a conversation with your self
2nd

a reply to: Poofmander

First of all, don't be flattered by being "hit on". It is the natural state of man to procreate. Don't flatter yourself. There are 7 billion people on the planet for a reason. Men have no standards when it comes to women. Aim low score high!

From my experiences, there's one thing women want above all else. And that's power, money, prestige, home, happiness, world peace, clean food, clean environment, good cloths, fun vacations, nice car, lots of spending money, good looking husband with six pack abs, beautiful hair, perfect nails, sleep-in during the week, a maid, someone to pick-up the kids, a massage, go out dancing on Saturday nights, to be left alone during certain times of the month which are impossible for the man to know exactly when is good and when is bad, and so on. I'm sure I missed a few. But you get the idea.

Men want one thing. Maybe two things. But one thing occupies their mind above all else.

Actually I agree those are the best conversations, they always go your way.
a reply to: kingsquirel

originally posted by: kingsquirel
best times of your life having a conversation with your self
2nd

Sometimes there's only one person actually listening.

originally posted by: Poofmander
I swear to Baphomet and all the like I'm not a prejudiced person.

There's a funny saying, "a skunk can't smell his own stink." The funny thing about bigotry and prejudice is we ALL have it yet none of us know exactly what it really is!

a reply to: Poofmander

In all of the greatness of existence, the Universe has made only one "You".
"You": are the most perfect you that exists.
Please never linger on negative feelings, anything negative at all.

You could have had that convo with 1000 different females.
A certain percentage may think: No: the other doesn't understand.
Some will think: By understand, they also partially mean: "I hear you", and so they will feel heard.
Some will think: OMG! This person totally gets me, like, 100%!

Stick with the folks in the middle, and just let the others slide.
No justification necessary.

Just continue to be nice, like you naturally are.
But don't hang anything at all on the others' reaction.
That's their monkeys and circus': not yours.

Don't worry !
Be happy !

originally posted by: dfnj2015
a reply to: Poofmander

First of all, don't be flattered by being "hit on". It is the natural state of man to procreate. Don't flatter yourself. There are 7 billion people on the planet for a reason. Men have no standards when it comes to women. Aim low score high!

From my experiences, there's one thing women want above all else. And that's power, money, prestige, home, happiness, world peace, clean food, clean environment, good cloths, fun vacations, nice car, lots of spending money, good looking husband with six pack abs, beautiful hair, perfect nails, sleep-in during the week, a maid, someone to pick-up the kids, a massage, go out dancing on Saturday nights, to be left alone during certain times of the month which are impossible for the man to know exactly when is good and when is bad, and so on. I'm sure I missed a few. But you get the idea.

Men want one thing. Maybe two things. But one thing occupies their mind above all else.

MMmmmm Fooood. Oh yeah, you forgot soul mate,

a reply to: Poofmander

You think the cure for a creepy encounter with another guy is to have one with you?
She doesn't know your background story and you not hers. True?
But here you are making it in a gender in general thing and end with "don't buy you a drink" - you're really not as evolved as you think.

Men want one thing. Maybe two things. But one thing occupies their mind above all else.

Sammiches... And now thank you very much not yesterday...

a reply to: dfnj2015

Damn, it seems like you know women well.

a reply to: Poofmander

Lol..


No one ever really understands if it is not happening to you.. and that goes with everything..


That said, how would you know what it is like to be physically at the mercy of every person you have dated..



How would you know what it is like to guard against rapes??



You don’t..


It is like someone without kids telling the parents of a murdered child “I understand..”


Lol

a reply to: dfnj2015

There is one thing all women want...


“To have the advantage with their husbands and lovers in all things..”


Atleast according to Chauncer lol

a reply to: Poofmander

Lol.... you think women care if your not after traditional bursts standards lol?!?!


So basically you told her you don’t care if she is ugly, you will still have sex with her...



LMAO?!?!


What is the old saying???


“It is way easier to talk yourself out of sex than into it.. so just sit back and shut up. If she wasn’t considering sleeping with you she wouldn’t be there. “

a reply to: Poofmander

Lol.... you think women care if your not after traditional bursts standards lol?!?!


So basically you told her you don’t care if she is ugly, you will still have sex with her...



LMAO?!?!


What is the old saying???


“It is way easier to talk yourself out of sex than into it.. so just sit back and shut up. If she wasn’t considering sleeping with you she wouldn’t be there. “

a reply to: Poofmander
A brief snippet of a conversation with no context to surround it except for your life history, which while you may believe boosts your argument, really did nothing for the woman you were speaking to.
Recently just had this same type of incident happen to me.
When a so called " creepy guy " hits on you some of us go into automatic shoot down mode. If you thought you had a chance by comiserating and eventually offering a drink...doubtful.
To be honest, not trying to be gender biased but of course you have no understanding what it's like to be in that woman's place any more than she could have knowledge of your lifetime that you use to proclaim feminism.
But seriously, it was a flippant comment on both sides, yours and hers and your reaction to it leads me to believe she acted accordingly.

a reply to: Poofmander

Maybe it would help if you explained, "why are we having this conversation?" Who initiated it and how did the rest of the conversation go? Maybe she didn't think you understood because she found your conversation just as uncomfortable.

a reply to: Poofmander

I need more information.

What did you say to the creeper? Anything???

Or did you just let him be a creeper, and wait until he had moseyed along his way to swoop in and tell her how awful he was and how you understand?

a reply to: Boadicea

All men are creepers. Creeper is in the eye of the beholder.

originally posted by: dfnj2015
a reply to: Boadicea

All men are creepers. Creeper is in the eye of the beholder.

No, not all men are creepers... but the creepers sure like to make this their excuse for being creepers. "A man can't even creep anymore without being called a creeper so I might as well be the creepiest creepy creeper out there and then blame all the women for making me a creepy creeper!"