Wedding Advice

Many years ago when I was in my twenties I was about to get married to my first wife. During the reception my drunk father comes over to me and puts his arm around me. He says, "DF, marriage is like driving down a long dark road in the rain. You can't see very well because the rain is shorting out the car's electrical. And then all of sudden you get flat tire. You pull over to the side and there's no jack." He turned and started talking to my uncle. At the time I thought there might be more to the story and he would come back later and finish it. But that was it.

I thought about these words my whole life. But to this day I see absolutely no value in this story whatsoever.

a reply to: dfnj2015

So.....what's your question?

Sounds like incoherent rambling runs in the family.

a reply to: MisterSpock

Only during weddings. We all mostly have allergies to beer and certain alcohols.

a reply to: dfnj2015

I had a friend tell me the big advice his father gave him was to alternate bottle water with his drinks when he's at a bar. So maybe I did better than him.

a reply to: dfnj2015

Nope. That was the whole story. Being married sucks. The situation goes from bad to hopeless, then somehow gets worse. I can make up an ending to the story from “there’s no jack.”

“...then, as you’re about to get back into your car, you get mugged for everything you have and shot. It’s not an immediately fatal wound though. You lie on the side of the road, slowly bleeding out in the rain until you die.”

Who are you calling bitter? I’m not bitter.

My father said something to my foreign wife who came half way around the world to live in America. I don't think she ever talked to him after that. He also died on my wife's birthday. Strange world we live in.

a reply to: dfnj2015When it comes to getting married, not much actually makes sense. I think his answer was spot on. Funny how what he said stuck longer with you than your first wife did.

originally posted by: rickymouse
a reply to: dfnj2015When it comes to getting married, not much actually makes sense. I think his answer was spot on. Funny how what he said stuck longer with you than your first wife did.

now thats funny

Marriage only sucks if one or both people are selfish and immature.

Theoretically it could be great if both people were serious about making concessions, sacrifices, and knew how to compromise. You also have to actually "Love" each other and work together.

That's why most end in divorces these days - those few requirements are too much to ask.

Getting married is like having a stroke or major brain trauma. You suddenly acquire parts of yourself that you feel like you've always had but you still don't fully recognize and they aren't under your control. So you either learn how to live with them and remain attached to them as if they were a part of you like the back of your hand or you fight them and come to hate them, even sometimes severing yourself from them.

As I've been very happily married, I chose the first route.

originally posted by: muzzleflash
Marriage only sucks if one or both people are selfish and immature.

Theoretically it could be great if both people were serious about making concessions, sacrifices, and knew how to compromise. You also have to actually "Love" each other and work together.

That's why most end in divorces these days - those few requirements are too much to ask.

in today's world of relationships, it best for one to live on a small island that can support themselves.
here we see the rich moving to smaller island and setting up tourist / room and breakfast spots
the simple life if you have the money , go for it and enjoy and try to make a living from it

a reply to: dfnj2015

Sounds like your mother was a real piece of work.

a reply to: Quantumgamer1776

LOL! As far as we know, maybe she nagged him for being a drunk!

Double Post

a reply to: dfnj2015

That wasn't a story, it was a drunken rambling.
Sounds like you should have gotten advice from your mother instead..

a reply to: dfnj2015

Parental advice I got from my parents before marrying my first husband:

Dad: I've taught you to fight, to swing a baseball bat and to shoot. Don't take any sh#!

Mom: Your first husband is just for practice. Divorces are cheap!

Turns out both had given me the best marriage advice ever because the first husband turned out to be a sneaky alcohol and drug addict who tried to beat me even when I was pregnant. Notice I said "tried" because Dad wasn't lying!

That was one short marriage!

Took my dad three marriages to find the wife for life, and my mother is twice divorced and not really relationship material at all, even as a girlfriend.

Neither gave me advice, I just observed their track records and aimed to not do the same things leading to screwing up. I also observed friends who go through life as serial marriage people, and frankly, found their half-assed relationship effort a good reason to do better myself. The common threads were selfish, self-centered expectations/demands without reciprocation (my mother & friends) and picking the wrong people for your personality (my dad)

Best advice I gave myself was the spouses come first, since the marriage is the foundation for life. "For the kids" is consistently the biggest mistake I've seen people order their lives by. No, the kids have to be second place. If mom and dad aren't in a solid, well-tended relationship, then "for the kids" doesn't mean jack sh#. BTDT, if my mother had spent even a fraction of the time communicating to and working with my dad on their marriage as she did demanding things of him & shelling out for crap & saying it would make life better, maybe they could have avoided a divorce. Or maybe not, most men tire of materialistic serial shopper wives.

You marry another human, another breathing, thinking, feeling person. Not a walking credit card or household decoration to just have around & look at/bang once in a while. Treat them like they actually mean something paramount & critical to you. Show them that and show it often.
If you can't do that, the bulk of problems might just lead back to you there.

a reply to: dfnj2015

Happy spouse happy house. Marriage isn't a two way street, it is one way with both people walking together helping and enjoying each other to get through life. For better or worse with your best friend.